Some Quotes for the end of one year and the start of another

A new year is unfolding – like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within. - author unknown

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. - Barbara Kingsolver

Be the change you wish to see in the world. - Ghandi

We must always have old memories and young hopes. Arsene Houssaye

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. Carl Bard

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning. Einstein

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. Joel Barker

Happiness is not having what you want, it's wanting what you have. Anon

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.
Danny Kaye

Happy New Year. May God teach, mold and bless you beyond anything you could imagine this next year.

Breathing

I first heard about this at our Women's Retreat in October. Then, a few months later Josh was watching one of the Nooma videos to prep for a devo. I heard what Rob Bell was talking about from the other room and jumped to go watch the video.

At the women's retreat someone mentioned that they had just read a book that discussed how the name of God (Yahweh) might actually be the sound of breathing.
The Hebrew people considered the name of God to be too sacred, too holy, to be spoken out loud. Yod-Hei-Vav-Hei, the letters that make up the creator's name, can't actually be pronounced. We've added the vowels "a" and "e" and called him Yahweh or Jehovah, but nobody is actually certain that his name can even be pronounced. If you say Yod-Hei-Vav-Hei quietly to yourself it sounds like breathing.

Go ahead, try it. Whisper Yah as you breath in and Weh as you breath out. It seems to fit naturally.

When I first heard this I immediately thought of my yoga class. In yoga we focus so much on breathe and breathing. I realized that I can focus on saying Yahweh while I go through the poses. I have been doing that for several months now and it is such a powerful experience.

“…the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” (Genesis 2:7)

In the Bible the word for "breath" is the same word as the word for "spirit".
Okay, now think about this. We, human beings, are created in the image of God. The Bible says we are made in His likeness. When a child is born, before that baby can cry, it has to take in a breath. That means that the first thing every human being will do is speak the name of God. We die essentially when we are no longer breathing - or when we are no longer able to say the name of God.

If you stop and think about it, this powerful. Acts 17:28 says "For in Him we live, and move and have our being". All that we are, we are because of God. If we are able to worship Him and call on Him simply by breathing that tells us something. It is a tangible experience to teach us that we are always in His presence, that He is our creator and sustainer. He is the giver of life. How many of us take time to think about breathing? I encourage you to take some time over the next few days and focus on your breathing. Think about saying Yahweh, the name of God, as you breath.

Tagged - 8

My friend Ashley did this one first.... it is actually hard.

8 Things I Did Today: (I am going to use yesterday since today all i have done is work)
1. Went to Church
2. Did Laundry
3. Went on a walk with Josh
4. Read a book
5. Swept and mopped the kitchen
6. Ate a yummy brisket Josh made
7. Watched a cheesy Hallmark Channel Christmas movie
8. Wrote cards to friends who were in my wedding

8 Restaurants I Like:
1. Cheesecake Factory
2. Jason's Deli
3. Red Lobster
4. Hacienda Colorado
5. Olive Garden
6. Thundercloud Subs
7. Chuy's
8. Taco Bueno

8 Stores I Like:
1. Target
2. J Crew (I don't actually buy anything)
3. Banana Republic ( again, I don't buy much)
4. JoAnn Fabrics
5. James Avery
6. Borders (or any book store)
7. REI
8. Whole Foods

8 Shows I Watch (sometimes):
1. Criminal Minds
2. One Tree Hill
3. Murder She Wrote
4. CSI
5. Walker, Texas Ranger
6. Law and Order
7. Grey's Anantomy
8. Friends

8 Things I Wish For:
1. To go back to Africa
2. Grow taller
3. Be able to be a yoga instructor
4. To have my own business making craft things
5. A Master's degree in Counseling or Social Work
6. A ring for my right hand - used to wear a James Avery one but lost it
7. A house
8. A dog (or any pet)

8 Things I Look Forward To:
1. Having kids
2. Going to Vegas in February
3. Kadesh
4. Decorating a house
5. Seeing family and friends
6. Rock climbing and hiking this summer
7. Many more years with Josh
8. Yoga class tonight

8 People I tag:
Amy O, Mellie, Juli Beth, Samantha, Leah, Amy P, Erin, anyone else who hasn't done it.

Prayer request update

A few weeks ago I mentioned that Wes Encalade, one of Josh's best friends, had a cancerous tumor removed. Early last week he had some tests to see if the cancer had spread. It hasn't and the doctors have said he is CANCER FREE!!! They will still monitor his progress and watch him closely but they didn't find anything else right now. God is so good!

While we were in Abilene for Christmas Josh was able to drive to Denison to spend the afternoon with Wes. He got there right about the time Wes and Naomi got the call from the doctor with the test results. I know if was so good for Josh and Wes to get to spend some time together. Wes has been a great friend and example for Josh in youth ministry. I know this must be a relief for Naomi and the rest of the Encalade family as well. I cannot wrap my brain around how I would feel if Josh was sick.

Thanks for your prayers on our friend's behalf.
"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick man well..." James 5:15

5 Years (post 2)

Josh and I decided to make a list of 5 things that have changed for us in the past 5 years and 5 things that haven't.
Here it goes:

5 things that have changed:
1. Shiloh folds t-shirts differently.
2. Josh eats vegtables other than green beans, potatoes and corn.
3. Shiloh is much more interested in backsetball.
4. Shiloh has learned not to try to have important conversations late at night.
5. Josh has accepted that he cannot fall sleep on his couch watching sport center every night.

5 things that haven't changed:
1. We still love to hold hands.
2. Josh still loves Dr. Pepper (but should drink more water)
3. We live in Denver - far away from all of our family.
4. Shiloh still gives Josh cards when he leaves town.
5. We still go on dates and learn new things about each other.

For our annivesary date we went bowling and then later went to Cheesecake Factory (where we went the night we got engaged). I had asked a friend to decorat our apartment with candles, put out some photo albums and scrap books, and put our wedding video in the dvd player. It was fun to watch the wedding again and remember all the fun things that happened.

5 Years (post 1)

This is one of my favorite pictures of us that we have taken recently.

Yesterday, December 20th was Josh and I's (is that the right way to say that?) 5 year anniverary. That means we have been married for 1826 days. We had a great day together and I will write about that and put pictures up later. More importantly I wanted to write a few things about this special anniversary.

In some ways 5 years seems so short and in other ways it seems like we've been married forever. We have had to go through a lot of challenges already but the good memories far outwiegh the tough ones. We really are on the same team. I am so blessed to have a husband who is so patient, supportive, encouraging, loving and thoughtful. He also gives great hugs. I really could go on forever about things that I love about Josh and our marriage but we are getting up at 4am to start drivng to Abilene to spend Christmas with my family so I need to go to bed.

More soon.

White Elephant Gifts

Tomorrow is the youth group Christmas party. This is the one event each year that Josh leaves entirely up to the parents to plan. The past few years we have done a gift exchange that is a "real gift" with a $5 limit - that usually means a lot of $5 gift cards.

This year we are doing a White Elephant gift exchange. I love these! They are hilarious and its so fun to come up with stupid gift ideas. So, I thought I would make a life of funny white elephant gifts. Please feel free to add your own!

1. A box of lint (someone did this a few years ago)
2. A potty training book
3. A giant box of styfoam peanuts with something little hidden in it (Josh did this)
4. A pink yard flamingo
5. A roll of toliet paper
6. A doggie dental kit (dog toothbrush and meat flavored toothpast)
7. A giant rubber band ball
8. zit cream
9. A self tape/cd (like the stop smoking one Chandler used on Friends)
10. Huge pair of granny panties

I would love to hear things you have given, gotten or thought of!

Vacation Part 4

I am finishing the Thanksgiving vacation just in time to start the Christmas vacation next week.

One of the highlights of my whole trip was getting to see Mark, Nancy Jasmine and Olivia. Nancy was both of my brother's kindergarten teacher and one of my mom's best friends. Nancy will credit my mom for bringing her to the church. I was at the hospital when Jasmine was born 2 months premature and saw Olivia days after she was born. Both of these girls call me "Sissy" and my brother Jeremy "Bubba". I babysat them all the time in middle school and high school. One time when I was babysitting we went through a tornado! Both girls were in my wedding and are so so special to me!

Nancy was always kind of 1/2 friend and 1/2 mom figure to me. I admire her for so many things. She married Mark about 6 1/2 years ago (I think that's right). He has been such a huge blessing for her.

Josh and I stayed with them Saturday night then went to church and to lunch on Sunday. At church they showed me where Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley sit!
For lunch we went to Rudy's BBQ - "worst BBQ in Texas". Actually, the best BBQ in Texas. I introduced Josh to Rudy's a few years ago and now he can't get enough of it!

That's pretty much all of the vacation. I think being in Austin was good for my soul - reminds me of where I came from and just feels so wonderfully familiar. I always love being with the Jones family. I have the best in-laws ever and look forward to all of our visits. All in all, a great trip. Thanks for reading.


l to r - me, Josh, Jasmine, Nancy, Mark, Olivia

Prayer request

Hi everyone. Some of you may know Wes and Naomi Encalade. Wes has been one of Josh's best friends since high school. This morning Wes had surgery to have a tumor removed. The doctors are fairly certain that the tumor is malignant but we won't know more until Friday.

I know that this has hit Wes's friends and family pretty hard. He is young, healthy etc. so this was a surprise but it is also so close to the holidays.

There are a lot of people praying for the Encalade family today but it can never hurt to have more prayers going up on their behalf.

Thanks everyone!

The Bible According to Weezer

I love Heart Songs by Weezer. No, it isn't really about the bible or God or anything like that but Josh did teach a class based on it.
The song (lyrics below) is about a lot of the different songs that have influenced Rivers Cuomo. It starts out with songs that are older - probably ones he heard other people listen to, then songs he liked, then his own music. The class last Sunday was about Mary's song in the gospels. She talked about things she has heard about, as well as things that she has experienced.
I like that the Weezer song sounds so passionate. It is saying that he can continually come back to these songs. That is how we should be with the bible and stories of God working in people's lives. We should continually come back to those things when times are tough, when we need a reminder. The rich history of faith, people who lived out their faith etc are a part of us just like all of these songs played a part in Weezer's music.

I take no credit for this analogy - Josh came up with it all and it was a great lesson. I'm sure that I messed it up or at least did not do it justice. Really, I just love the song.

*************************************************************************************

Gordon Lightfoot sang a song
About a boat that sank in the lake
At the break of the morning
A Cat named Stevens found a faith
He could believe in
And Joan Baez,I never listened
to too much jazz but hippie songs
Could be heard in our pad
Eddie Rabbitt sang about how much
He loved a rainy night
Abba, Devo, Benatar
Were there the day John Lennon died
Mr. Springsteen said he had a hungry heart
Grover Washington was happy on the day
He topped the charts
These are the songs

Chorus:
These are my heart songs
They never feel wrong
And when I wake
For goodness sake
These are the songs
I keep singin'

Quiet Riot got me started with the bangin' on my head
Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and Slayer
Taught me how to shred
I gotta admit though, sometimes
I would listen to the radio
Debbie Gibson, tell me that you think we're all alone
Michael Jacksons in the mirror
I've gotta have faith if I wanna see clear
Never gonna give you up,Wish me love or wishing well
It takes two to make a thing go right
If the Fresh Prince starts a fight
Don't you worry for too long
'Cause you know
These are the songs

These are my heart songs
They never feel wrong
And when I wake
For goodness sake
These are the songs
I keep singing

Back in 1991 I wasn't havin' any fun
'Till my roommate said "Come on and put a brand new record on"
Had a baby on it, he was naked on it
Then I heard the chords that broke the chains I had upon me
Got together with my bros in some rehearsal studios
Then we played our first rock show
And watched the fan base start to grow
Signed the deal that gave the dough to make a record of our own
The song come on the radio
Now people go
This is the song

These are my heart songs
They never feel wrong
And when I wake
For goodness sake
These are the songs
I keep singing

Psalm 13

Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

This Psalm has been resonating in my heart and mind recently. It seems like life gets so busy, stressful, uncertain and overwhelming that I just keep asking "how long?". Yesterday at church Josh and I were able to share with our church that we have been having a rough few weeks. For me especially, the pain and loss of the 2 miscarriages has been coming to the surface.
It is good to know that no matter what, God's ways are higher than our ways. He will be faithful. He works for the good of those who love Him. So, I will keep reading and living Psalms as they so often reflect what I am wanting to say better than I could ever say it.

Vacation Part 3

So after I hung out in Austin I came back to Mansfield. Josh had driven in from Colorado Monday so when I saw him Tuesday that was the first time in 5 days! We went to Simply Fondue for a late birthday celebration. It was a great dinner and the restaurant wasn't very crowded. I love birthday dinners!



Wednesday we went to lunch with the Berry family. Sharron was Josh's "camp mom" and Josh and I have always been close to Jenny (Partnuh). It was great to catch up.



Then it was THANKSGIVING. We did all the usual stuff - cooked, ate, napped, ate more etc. One of my favorite parts of the day was watch my Longhorns slaughter A&M. Josh's family is full of Aggie fans. Lauren and I were the long UT supporters and took a lot of teasing, but it was all worth it.

Friday consisted of shopping that morning then going out for a surprise. Sue (Josh's mom) had wanted to go to the Ice sculpture tour at the Gaylord, Texas hotel/convention center for several years so this year we went. It was 9 degrees in the tour so we all had to wear these giant blue parkas. Gary didn't want to wear one because he thought he was tough....
In this pictures virtually everything is made solely out of ice. We even went down a giant ice slide! It was a really cool experience and provided lots of fun picture moments.
After the ice tour we went to a Brazillian Steakhouse - Josh and Jared were in heaven! They had a great salad/side bar (which the boys just considered filler) and then 14 types of meat. If you have never been to a Brazillian Steakhouse, don't eat for at least 2 days before you go. Each person has a little stop sign thing and when you turn it to green you are attacked with people wanting to give you whatever type of meat you have. My favorite quote was when Jared asked one of the servers what type of meat he had; Josh's response was "Who cares, it's wrapped in bacon, just eat it." We were all so stuffed we were in "food comas. I was trying to find a place to lay down to take a nap. All in all, a great day - shopping, Christmas decorations, and lots of food.

Friday Night's Activities

This past Friday was awesome! To give you a little bit of the back story, Mitch is a boy in our youth group. His birthday is 2 days after mine. Last week at church he handed out invitations to a party to all of the high schoolers. Josh asked why he didn't get one and Mitch either ignored him or made some smarty pants comment about how he wasn't invited. So, all week last week Josh had been teasing Mitch and making comments about not getting invited to the party.

Josh called me one day while I was at work and told me his brilliant plan. He decided that we should go toilet paper Mitch's house during the party. He told this idea to several of the other youth group parents who also agreed it was brilliant, there were even a few parents who really, really wanted to come but couldn't.

So, Friday night Josh, myself, Dennis, Pam, Don and Gale went to dinner and then put "Operation Crash the Party" into action. As we walked up to the house we noticed that Mitch's parents Lori and Jerry were sitting in front of the big living room window. This meant we had to be super quiet and sneaky. We were able to get the house and trees pretty good for about 30 minutes before Lori looked up and saw a roll of toilet paper go flying by. During that 30 minutes the neighbors came home, looked and us, waved, and went inside. Also during that time a boy left the party. He walked out the front door while Josh was standing there with a roll in his hand. Josh asked if he was going back in and he said he was going home. So Josh replied "cool" and kept working. It must have been pretty funny to see 6 adults papering a house. Just a side note - one of those adults is a police officer!

After we were done/almost got caught we drove back to one of the other couples houses to play cards. While we were there, their son, who was at the party came home. He asked if we had done it - we all played innocent and asked "done what?". By the time Josh and I left Justin was convinced it wasn't us.

Sunday morning at church we again convinced the kids that it wasn't Josh that did it. Oh, we left a note on the porch that said "Dear Mitch, you really should have invited us to your party. Sincerely, ?????" All the kids were trying to figure out what the 5 ?s symbolized and who else could have done it. We finally revealed ourselves and everyone had a good laugh - except for Justin who was shocked his parents lied to him when he asked if they were involved.

It was a great night. Pictures below.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I mean, I really love it. I get so excited when store come out with decoration. I could walk around for hours in craft stores, Pottery Barn, etc.

Another thing that I love about this time of year is buying presents. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy getting presents too, but I like giving them way more. I love to shop for things I think people will like. I love to make presents that are personalized and heartfelt. I also look forward all year to wrapping the presents. I try to make each one unique and beautiful. I love it, love it, love it.

This year I have had a little bit of a hard time getting in the "spirit". I think that is mostly because I had packed away all of our decorations because we are trying to move (more on that another time). Wednesday night I broke down and just got a few things out of boxes. I then decided it was time to start wrapping presents. So I put on comfy pjs, made a cup of my favorite tea you can only get this time of year (it's called Joy and is at Starbucks - try it), got out wrapping stuff and put on White Christmas. I watch White Christmas regularly between Thanksgiving and New Year's. It is technically a Christmas movie but isn't all about Christmas so I have some leeway with appropriate times to watch it.



To add to the new found Christmas spirit, it snowed all day yesterday! Today at work we have been wrapping and sorting present that we will give to our kids in foster care at our holiday party tomorrow. We will decorate cookies, have pictures with Santa, play games etc. This is a great time of year.

All day I've been sing to myself "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, Ev'rywhere you go; Take a look in the five and ten glistening once again, With candy canes and silver lanes aglow. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in ev'ry store But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be
On your own front door. "

Vacation Part 2

Monday night I was able to meet up with some friends at Chuy's - the best Mexican food ever! A lot of us had been friends since middle school, some I have knows since I was about 7. I got to meet my friend Eric's girlfriend - she is great and I am so happy for them.
Anyway, we talked about a lot of old stories, dumb stuff we did, people we knew etc. I laughed so hard and so much that not only was I crying but I think my abs got a serious workout. I have such great memories with these friends. We went on retreats with our huddle at church to the lake every summer, went paint balling, had lock-ins at the church, and generally were together a lot! I was one of the few girls in our class but I loved being able to be just "one of the guys". I think the night was good for all of us - to reconnect, enjoy memories etc.


Jeremy, Eric, Cal, Me, Sam


Chez Dishman and I ( i look weird in this picture)

Tuesday morning I went over to Brad and Sandra Dodd's house. They have moved since I left Austin. The house they have now is absolutely amazing! They bought the house and lived in the back yard in an RV for over a year while Brad basically gutted it and rebuilt it. One of the coolest things is that a majority of the materials used are from other jobs that Brad has worked on. There is no way that I could possibly describe the house and do it justice but I will tell you a few highlights. Inlaid into the wood floor is a star out of wood, surrounded by stone - beautiful. Sandra had Brad move the fireplace to another wall in the living room. I'm not sure how you move a fire place but it is amazing. One of the guest rooms is called something like the restoration room - it has a sign explaining it all. The door to that room is from Sandra's grandparents house, the 4 poster bed in it is one that Brad carved himself. There are also pictures of Nathan and a picture of a team of Marines that ran a marathon under the team name "Dodd".
Brad and Sandra are my friend Nathan's parents. Nathan's older sister Amy also hung out with us Tuesday. It has almost been 5 years since Nate was killed. This family is so special to me for so many reasons. When I was in high school Amy was someone that I really looked up to and admired. She helped me get through many of my own health struggles as she herself struggles with having MS.
I won't get into some of the personal details of our time together - but it was such a blessing and very refeshing to just enjoy each other's company, talk about Nathan and most of all talk about our Heavenly Father.

I left their house and started the drive back to Mansfield. That night Josh and I had a date planned for my birthday. More soon.

Blessings from disappointment

Today was a huge disappointment for a lot of people when OU was ranked above Texas in the BCS. When I first found out I was really bummed...but no matter what happens there is a bright side. I was in Austin off and on this past week. I also read several articles about Jordan Shipley, Colt McCoy and even Tech's Graham Harrell. They are all strong christan men who have their faith as a priority. Colt and Jordan both attend Westover Hills Church of Christ where I grew up. I even caught a glimpse of Colt at church today. Jordan recently went and talked to the Westover Youth Group.

Anyway, the point of all this is that while I was wallowing in self-pity because my team didn't get the bid to go to the Big 12 Chamionship, I realized that this disappointment could be a great opportunity. If Colt and Jordan (as well as other UT players) are the type of men that they have the reputation of being then I believe that they will handle this situation by relying on their faith and still finding joy in Christ. What I have prayed for is that the other players will see how they respond and that seed will be planted in their hearts.

Don't get me wrong, I really really really hope there is still a chance for the Longhorns to go to the Championship. - I did read an article that says that have a slim shot if Missouri beats OU http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/01/sports/ncaafootball/01side.html?_r=1 - But even if they don't even play in a big bowl game, its ok. God is bigger than football. I feel kind of stupid writting about this because in the grand scheme of things this is just one college football season. But even if it seems silly, God can use this situation to further His kingdom and I'm sure that he can use 2 Longhorn football players who Him.


I really just like this picture....

Vacation Part 1

Over the summer I got a free plane ticket and have been planning for months what to use it on. I decided that I wanted to go to Austin for a few days and also spend some time with some friends from college.

Last Friday I flew to DFW and was able to spend 2 great days hanging out with JB Shilcutt and Kasey McCollum (we forgot to take a picture!). We had such a great time together. These girls were my two very best girl friends in college and I have missed them!

After that I stayed with Josh's parents and went to Pleasant Ridge on Sunday morning (my birthday) then I drove to Austin. Josh's mom was kind enough to let me take her car. I stayed with my Aunt and had a really nice visit with her.

Monday I had breakfast then set out to get reaquainted with the city I spent the majority of my childhood in. I lived a lot of different places but I onsider Austin home. I haven't really lived there since I left in 2000 to go to college. Austin has changed a lot since then - they now have toll roads and huge highways out near where I lived - that used to be all country.

I was able to get around with out getting completely lost. When I was growing up there was a road that my family drove on the way to church on Sundays. When we moved to Austin the first time (I was about 8) we named this road "The Dip Road" due to the multiple fun dips that we would try to get my parents to speed up for. The dip road (it's real name is Old Spicewood Springs Rd) is one of my favorite roads in the whole world to drive on.


Monday afternoon I went up to Westover Hills Church of Christ (where we went when I lived there) and had a great time hanging out with Rick McCall - my old youth minister. He's now in a different ministery role at Westover but I will always thin of him as my youth minister. It felt so good just to be able to sit and talk with him - there is something very comforting and familiar about it.

After that I started driving towards down town and the UT campus. I didn't get to go everywhere that I wanted and missed not going to some of my favorite stores and things but I ran out of time. I walked around the UT co-op and campus - the Hex rally before the A&M game was that night so there was a lot going on.

I took this picture of the Capitol and then played with it a little on the computer...



Monday night I went to dinner with a group of old friends. More about that next time!

Government Spending

This will be short since most of you will have no idea what I am talking about but...I went to a meeting today with Denver County and some of the CPA (Child Placement Agencies). One of the directors of Child Protective Services with Denver County was talking to us about all of the data they have right now. There are so many kids that need homes - either adoptive or foster and the county/state/country etc doesn't have the money. There isn't enough money to pay for foster parent training, quality care for kids or even money to finalize adoptions in court. It is so sad to me that the country is bailing out automobile companies and not the child welfare system. There are kids sitting in shelters or residential treatment centers because there isn't anywhere else for them to go. I know I see more of the impact of all of this because I work in the system everyday, but it should be something that everyone cares about. With the economy in the state it is in, more and more families are deep into poverty which more and more kids are coming into the system with less and less money to provide quality care for them. Denver told us today that they have hiring freezes and several, what I would consider, necessary positions. That means the workers and staff they do have are overworked and kids fall through the cracks. It's all a huge mess and these children are the ones who are suffering.

I'll get off my soapbox for today. Thanks for listening.

27

There were actually a lot of ideas I thought of for things to write about today. One is about my crazy hectic day so far but I thought I would wait to see what else is going to happen.

Since my birthday is Sunday I thought I would write about that. I didn't want to write something cheesy (no promises though) so my idea was that since I am turning 27 I would write 27 cool things that I have done and 27 more cool things I want to do.

Things I have accomplished (good or bad) in 27 years:
1. Made it past 17 without my mom killing me - that is a huge accomplishment.
2. Flown a Cessna Airplane.
3. Met someone famous - George Brett
4. Gotten to the point where my siblings and I are friends.
5. Grown to be over 5 foot - my family wasn't sure it would happen.
6. Gotten my wisdom teeth out in Mexico
7. Fed baby lion cubs
8. Learned to take a shower in under 8 minutes.
9. Wrecked a few cars.
10. Went to prom and actually danced.
11. Had several spinal taps (I don't recommend it)
12. Got a tattoo.
13. Moved to another state where I didn't know anyone except my husband.
14. Been snorkeling
15. Preached - or at least taught a lesson
16. Ridden in an Ultra-Lite plane
17. Graduated from college
18. Learned to be at least a decent cook, some things are actually pretty darn good
19. Married a wonderful man!
20. Thrown a surprise party for someone
21. Rock climbed
22. Held a steady job that I am good at
23. Been to several countries on mission trips
24. Broken a bone
25. Climbed mountains
26. Sold cards a made for an actual profit
27. Not killed myself doing something stupid (but fun)


Things I still want to do in the next 27 years:
1. Get a Master's Degree
2. Live overseas
3. Go on a several day long backpacking/hiking trip
4. Write a book
5. Scuba dive
6. Go in a hit air balloon
7. Become at least somewhat fluent in another language
8. Be able to earn extra money selling craft projects
9. Learn to spell the words appriciate and definitly - see I can't do it
10. Stop worrying about how I look
11. Have a baby.
12. Have another baby.
13. Maybe even have another baby.
14. Go to Italy
15. Learn to do a shoulder stand and crow in yoga
16. Get rid of my asthma
17. Be able to run at least a 5k
18. Adopt
19. Have neater handwriting
20. Teach a class at NCYM for youth minister's wives who also have a life
21. Go to Yellowstone
22. Get my husband to buy my sparkly jewelry
23. Sky dive
24. Stop getting in trouble for being too blunt at times
25. Buy a house
26. Surprise my husband
27. Memorize the Book of James (so far I have chapters 1 and 2 done)

Global Warming

This is the first year that Josh and I have been in Colorado that it is not freezing cold and snowy by now. We got some snow at the end of last week but it is all melted by now. Today the high is 67. Tomorrow the high is 75 - near a record! Normal I love warm weather and am sick of the cold but this is getting a little strange. I am having a hard time getting excited about the holidays because it's warm outside. I have been looking forward to making things like beef stew, chicken noodle soup etc but it's weird to do that when it's warm enough that I can wear a t-shirt on a walk. I used to think it was cool to wear shorts on Christmas but after living in Denver for 4 1/2 years I have gotten used to the cold, blizzards and snow.

Maybe this is global warming, maybe it's just a weird year. Either way - every should try to conserve energy so that Denver won't get as hot as Texas!

Zumba

Last night I took a Zumba class for the first time and it was AWESOME! There was a 30 minute class before my yoga workout so I decided to go. It combined a warm up, toning and cardio all in the form of latino dances. The instructor told us not to worry about if the steps were right and just to have fun. Zumba combines Latin rhythms with cardio exercise to create an aerobic routine that is fun and easy to follow. The name Zumba is derived from a Colombian word meaning to move fast and have fun. Zumba uses a variety of styles in its routines, including cumbia, merengue, salsa, reggaeton, hip-hop, pop, mambo, rumba, flamenco, and calypso and Salsaton. Music selections include both fast and slow rhythms to help tone and sculpt the body. We had a blast - like being in a club except in nasty workout clothes. If you get a chance to try it you definitely should. 24 hour fitness has regular classes - just FYI. It's fun but hard work - my butt and legs are hurting today!

Retreat

We had a great time in Estes Park on the youth group retreat. The theme was Desperate and while it was great, I think the concept was a hard for the kids to grasp. We talked about how God was desperate for us and a relationship once Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden but that with Jesus' sacrifice his despair was removed. He has done his part so now we respond by being desperate to be in relationship with him. One of the examples that Josh used through out the weekend was having an asthma attack. When someone (he used the example of me) is having an asthma attack they are desperate for air, nothing else matters but being able to take a deep breath. One of the things he had a few of the kids do is to do 10 jumping jacks and then try to breath through a straw with their noses plugged. It's pretty similar to asthma - try it sometime just for the experience. That's a super short recap.

Besides all of the lessons we had a ton of fun playing various games and activities. The weekend was a blessing for everyone involved. I know that God was working through the lessons and small groups. Another interesting thing was that by Saturday morning I had completely lost my voice and was feeling pretty sick. I mean, I could (still can) barely whisper. I hated not being able to sing during the worship times but my lack of voice definitely added humor to the weekend. Enjoy some of the pictures....


Hanging out


some of the girls after dinner


One of the small group times


Evan with the Expectation Goblins - they will get you if you don't follow the rules/expectations.


The whole group

UYG Retreat

Each year one of the highlights is the UYG (University Youth Group) retreat. Since it is a small-medium sized group Josh plans the retreat as High School and Middle School together. It is a great time of fellowship, learning, play, prayer, and lots of laughing. Josh always works really hard on these retreats.

This weekend is the 2008 retreat and the theme is Desperate. I'm excited to see if, and how the kids will latch on to the idea of Desperate - that God is desperate for us, that we should be desperate for Him etc.

One of the fun traditions that we do is the clothespin game. I introduced Josh to this game after we played it during a team planning day at work a few years ago. Everyone writes their name on 3 clothespins. Then throughout the whole weekend everyone tries to clip clothespins on other people without them knowing it. If they catch you, you have to take the pin back. It's funny when people are wearing hoodies or baggy shirts and pants because in a matter of minutes their backs can be covered with pins. At the end of the weekend we use the pins to guide a time of encouragement.

Here are some pictures from last years retreat....




I'm so excited to see what fun adventures this year holds. I will be praying that God will speak to our hearts, open our eyes and stir our souls. May Satan and all of his distractions and temptations be kept far away this weekend. Lord, teach us what it is to be truly desperate for you.

The power of smell

I have always thought it is interesting how smells can make us recall memories even more than other senses. As I was thinking about that I wanted to try and write down some of the smells that I relate to memories.

Homemade bread and Pecan Pie - My Mamma, my dad's mom, was an excellent cook. We spent almost every Thanksgiving at her house in Brownfield, TX - a tiny west Texas town where my dad grew up. I loved being at her house becuase when I was younger (an she was younger) she made homemade bread every morning. SHe past away a year and a half ago and those smells will always remind me of her.

Prell shampoo - This was I guess one of the shampoo's we used when I was little. I distinctly remember getting it in my eyes. It hurt a lot - I think it hurts way more than any other shampoo.

Bath and Body Works Moonlight Path - I think a lot of you will be able to guess what I am going to say it reminds me of...Melanie Knox. I know her married name is Melanie Larson, but this reminds me of Melanie in college when she was still a Knox. Even if she doesn't use this as religiously as she used to, this scent will always remind me of her.

Evergreen trees - One of my favorite Christmas traditions my family had was that every year we would go to a Christmas tree farm and cut down our own tree. My siblings and I would run all over the property, find trees we like, then try to remember which tree it was to show everyone else. It almost always came down to everyone voing between two trees and all of us wanting to be the one that found "the" tree. Any live tree smells good, but ours always seemed even more fragrant because it was fresh. I love it. I keep trying to tell Josh that this is a tradition we will start.

My perfume - 8 by Abercrombie - When Josh and I were dating I mentioned that I was needing a new perfume. One weekend I was in Arlington for something (my siblings were there for some reason too). It wasn't a special anniversary or anything but Josh surprised me with a bottle of this perfume. He picked it out on his own because he liked it. Josh would spray it on his blanket or on a little beanie baby moose I got him in Alaska before I left to go back to Abilene (I know, it's cheesy). The bottle is almost gone and I am needing to find another special smell since they don't make this one anymore.

Campfires - There are a lot of things that remind me of my mom, but campfires of one of the big ones. My mom loves to burn a fire in the winter - she can hardly wait until it gets below 60 so she can have a fire. Whenever we were camping when I was a kid, my mom was the one who would always build the fire. I think I get that skill from her.

There are a lot more smells that evoke memories but I have a sore throat and need to go to bed. I would love it if you would share some of your smells that remind you of things.

Election Day!!

Today is November 4th - election day. I voted this morning and I hope you did too. BUT, I really don't care who you voted for. I don't think because you are a Christian you have to vote one way or another. What I do care about is how we as Christians handle today and the days to follow.

In the high school class at church Sunday the lesson was about community. Josh talked and let the kids talk about the election and who they thought should be President, then he asked if Jesus would be a good President. Basically it came down to thinking that Jesus would not want to be the President. At the end of class I think I kind of spoiled Josh's closing point, but my comment was that it doesn't matter who wins today. God can work through anyone and any situation. I don't think that the country will be in ruins if specific individuals win the election. I don't think God is affiliated with a certain political party anyway, even though it seems that as Christians we assume that He is, or that we should be. GOD IS MUCH BIGGER THAN POLITICS! I do believe that our job as Christians is to pray and to pray a lot. We should pray for whoever is elected into a position of authority. We should put aside our individual ideas about who should win or lose display love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. What a tragedy it would be if Christians had the reputation of being bitter if our candidate doesn't "win" and we hold a grudge instead of coming together as a community.

So today, I encourage you to exercise your right to vote. But I also encourage you to not berate, belittle or begrudge anyone who does not agree with your political views. Even more so, I encourage you to be display the characteristics of Christ as we deal with this election. Be prayerful, loving and forgiving to all and be mindful of who we represent.

A Time of Mourning

On Saturday night something tragic happened - the #1 Texas Longhorns lost to Texas Tech. The first half was miserable and the Horns didn't play well at all. Then during the second half they were able to rally and scored to get the lead with 1:29 left in the game. Unfortunately that was enough time for the Raiders to score again and win. Heartbreaking to say the least. But, it's ok, it's not over.

To Colt McCoy and the rest of the team: Don't give up yet. I still like you and will still root for you.

Poem

My friend Melanie emailed me this poem. It was written by a woman who experienced several miscarriages. I enjoyed reading it and thought I would share it.

"A Pair of Shoes"

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.


Thanks Mel - love you!!

The fun begins

Today is the start of the NBA 2008-2009 season. I liked basketball before I married Josh but now my interest has definitely increased beyond casual like. My favorite team is the Dallas Mavericks. Now that Josh and I live in Denver we try to go to the games where the Mavs are in town to play the Nuggets.

I really like Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash. In fact, I frequently get made fun of because one of the things I like about them is that they are such good friends. I know it's a girly reason, but I think it's great - they used to hang out all the time and are still good friends now that they are on separate teams, Dirk is even the god-father for Nash's daughters. There was actually a Sports Illustrated article either last year or the year before about how they have stayed friends even though they now compete against each other.



So, yeah, its not a typical reason to like players but I don't care. I love the sport and if the players are good guys who are good role models it just makes things even better. I'm sure there will be more posts about basketball, Nash, Dirk and players I truly don't like (Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobli, etc) through out the season. Stay tuned....

22 yards

This may seem trivial but I wanted to share my recent accomplishment...

Every once in a while Josh and I will walk down to the part by our apartment and play football. We usually play catch for an hour or so and then head home. He has been teaching me how to throw a good line drive and a tight spiral. If I can brag on my self for a little bit, I can throw better than most girls I know. This past Saturday we were playing and Josh decided to see how far I could throw a good pass. We set the mark at 20 yards. I was able to get it there a few times and once even made 22 yards!! I know that's not that great for even a middle school boy, but I felt pretty accomplished that I could throw a decent pass that far. Plus, my arm is sore to prove it. I wish I had taken a picture to post - maybe next time.

During this event, Josh jammed his pinkie finger. He said it was a bad throw, I say that it was a bad catch but either way - Josh, I am sorry that you are hurt and I appreciate you hanging out and playing for the afternoon!

By the numbers -

My life by the numbers:

3 - the number of siblings I have
5 - the number of years Josh and I will be married on our next anniversary
8 - the number of years I am older than my sister
15- the number of places I can remember living
1 - the number of bones I have broken (well I guess it was 2 since I broke both bones in my arm)
30 - how old Josh will be on his next birthday
4 - the number of times my birthday has been on Thanksgiving Day
13- the number of countries I have been to
6 - the number of bridesmaids in my wedding
19 - the number of pets I remember having (not counting fish)

I will never...

I will never:
-be able to wear a short shirt without feeling uncomfortable.
- think it is attractive to be intoxicated.
-stop being excited to open presents or to give presents.
-understand why athletes and celebrities are praised for being jerks and not held to a higher standard.
-be better at grilling or making scrambled eggs than my husband.
-interested in golf.
-stop being opinionated.
-be model-skinny, I have been involved in sports most of life and have the muscles to show for it.
-like taking out the trash.
-dress up just to go to the mall.
-give up wearing flip flops or t-shirts even if it is sloppy.
-stop enjoying Disney movies.
-be able to completely give up junk food - especially brownies.
-be the kind of wife, friend or daughter that I desire to be.
-like sauerkraut.
-dye my hair blond.

What will you never do?

Song Lyrics

This song has been running through my head lately:

"Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name"

**What beautiful words. They are so simple but so incredibly powerful. My favorite part is "my heart will CHOOSE to say". Even when we feel surrounded by darkness or when God takes things away, we choose to bless Him and praise Him. It's hard to get to the point where you want to praise God in the hard times instead of just when things are going your way, but I really believe that He will bless us even more when we are faithful and can praise in the trials.

Political Chaos

I have a lot to say about this subject. Let's just get the most shocking out of the way now....I am not a die hard Republican. I know that is almost heresy in Texas but it's the truth.

I grew up thinking both of my parents were pretty conservative - little did I know that my mom, a fellow social worker, was a closet Democrat. The older I got and the more immersed in the social work community I became, the less conservative I became.
There are certain things that are faith issues that I will always hold true. But there also seems to be a shift in my political views that may or may not come from my profession. Democratic policy is historical much better for human services with regard to funding, programs etc. I guess really I am more of an Independent instead blindly loyal to one party.

There seem to be two things that currently annoy me about politics - specifically politics and faith. The first is that I don't like feeling like an outsider, or even worse, less of a Christian because I am not a conservative Republican. Does not registering as a Republican put my salvation in jeopardy? Absolutely not. Does an Obama bumper sticker make me love Jesus less? I don't think so. I may not completely agree with all of his policies but I think that it is rare that there is a politician that we agree with about 100% of things. For that matter, it is rare to have a friend that you agree with 100% of the time.

Political emails also drive me crazy. If the subject line looks even remotely like a political forward I delete the email and have been known to politely ask to be removed from any future forward list. I respect other's opinions and would appreciate people respecting mine. I don't shy away from questions or disagreements, but please, never tell me that Democrats can't be Christians.

Anti-social

I feel like my blogging, or lack thereof, has been rather pathetic lately. So, I apologize to everyone who faithfully checks my blog and has been disappointed lately.

I think I am going through an anti-social phase. Part of that is probably due to being extremely busy and having a "to-do" list that causes me to panic every time I think about it. I also feel like there has been quite a bit of stress and drama in my life during the past few weeks. I have also begun to realize once again that my husband and I do not get to spend much time together during the week - at least time when we are both awake and functioning and that makes me grumpy. Add grumpy to tired and irritated and it is not a pleasant combination. One thing that I know about myself is that when I am tired, stressed or overwhelmed I tend to over-analyze and get upset about small insignificant things. I also begin to loss control over my internal sensor. The result is saying things more bluntly than I should. In perhaps an effort to combat all of this, I have been retreating to spent more time with books, quiet, the gym, long walks and naps. Eventually I will have to come out of this phase where I avoid people, phone calls and any drama that I am not getting paid to deal with. But for now, I am content to be anti-social and melancholy.

I will most likely keep posting short and probably random thoughts so that you all know I'm at least still alive and able to access a computer. But don't except anything incredibly insightful or moving.

Now it's really Fall!

The past few days it has finally started feeling cooler here in Denver. Today is one of those cloudy, gray days that makes me want to stay in bed with a book. As I was driving to work I started thinking about some of my favorite fall memories and thought I would share a few.

When I was little and we lived in Rhode Island, every September my family would go camping in New Hampshire to see the leaves changing colors. A few times we went to Vermont and got to make our own maple syrup and snow ice cream. It was always such a beautiful time a year - the leaves were all shades of red, yellow and orange. Someday I want to take Josh to New England this time of year. It is incredible.

In high school fall meant 2 things - youth group retreats at Camp Hensel and football games. Each week after all the football games we would go hang out at someones house. We started making silly flyers each week to advertise where we would get together. I was cleaning out a box of stuff a month or so ago and found a few of those flyers. In Texas, high school football is a HUGE deal and Leander High School was no exception. Homecoming was even a bigger deal - everything was decorated, girls had mums that would touch the floor, we even had to tape up the bells on the mums because it drove the teachers crazy!
Our Westover Hills high school retreat was also one of the highlights of my year. Camp Hensel wasn't anything extraordinary as camps go, but it holds countless memories of times in worship, prayer and of course playing capture the flag.

Another thing I love about this time is cooking things that I don't cook the rest of the year. Last night I made homemade caramel corn and a week or so ago I made apple crisp and pumpkin bread. The other things on my list that I need to make soon are: beef stew, soup in bread bowls, cider, baked apples, sweet potatoes, and lots more. One year when we lived in Kansas my family went to one of the Indian reservations for a holiday festival thing. They had a stew that was sausage, apples and molasses. It sounds weird but it is incredibly good. My mom is going to make it for me sometime in the next week or so while she and Larry are in this area.

The smell of the crisp air makes me think of camping, walks outside, football games, and holding hands with people I love. I start to think about my fluffy comforter, flannel sheets, warm PJs, hot tea and the holidays that are coming up. I love all the decorations with wheat, pumpkins, gourds, pine cones and other natural outdoorsy stuff. It's hard to decided if I have one favorite time of year because there are things I love about every season but I am glad that it finally feels like fall is here.

Handbag Planet

My friend Mellie told me about this contest. There is a new company launching that is going to give away a handbag every hour on October 21. You can go to the website and enter the contest. If you join the facebook page or write about them on your blog then you get even more entries!!

They have some cute stuff. You should check it out.

Retreat Update

The retreat went very well. I'm not really in a "blogging" mood right now so you will have to get highlights later.

In other news:
- The Longhorns are now 5-0
- The Red Sox beat the Angels 3-1 and move on the play Tampa Bay in the AL Championship
- We have our first chance for snow in Denver later this week (only a small chance)
- I now have about 50% of my Christmas shopping done. WooHoo!
- Sweetest Day (a holiday to remember not only the sick, aged and orphaned, but also friends, relatives and associates whose helpfulness and kindness we have enjoyed) is on October 18th this year.
- My favorite candle that I have had for the past few years and only burned sparingly is finally done.
- I read a book in the past 48 hours from cover to cover.
- I will attempt to write a real blog entry later with actual pertinent information.

Random News.

This weekend I am going to a Women's Retreat with University Church. I am so excited!! I have been working on planning this retreat for about 6 months and I am anxious to see how it will come together. My mom is even going to get to come since she and Larry will be in the area. Jeanane Reese is the speaker - I had several classes with her in college and am excited to hear her speak. The theme is 2Corinthians and "Freedom".

The retreat is up in Grand Lake at Snow Mountain Ranch and it is so so beautiful up there. This facility is truly like a resort - no camp bunk beds with gross mattresses or freezing cold water. This place is huge and each room has 2 queen beds with linens and a fold out couch and a bathroom. It is great! Hopefully the weather will continue to be beautiful while we are there.

I will definitely write an update when I get back.

On another note - I have now memorized James 1 and 2 although I keep getting stuck on parts of chapter 2. I feel like I've kind of hit a wall and am having a hard time going further without forgetting the early stuff I've learned.

Robert Reagan

Robert, Danny Reese and I

Robert Reagan is a missionary in Thailand. He works with his wife Jan, who he met there, and their two children Erika (15) and Branson (12). Robert found out a little over a week ago that he has tumors on his pancreas. If this is cancerous, this type of cancer is usually fatal. There have been thousands of people all over the world who have been praying for Robert - for peace for his family and for his total and complete healing.

Robert was a young single missionary sponsored by home church of Westover Hills in Austin. When I was in the 4th grade he came into our class during a VBS one summer to talk about being a missionary. He told us that could serve God as missionaries and didn't have to wait until we were "old enough" or when we knew more. He taught us a new verse to the song Sanctuary - it went like this "O Lord prepare me, to be a missionary, to tell others, about you, and teach your spirit, to those who'll hear it, missionary for you."

Robert has been in Thailand for at least 16 years. When he would come to the United States on furlough we would often go out to lunch or meet. He asked me several times to go to Chiang Mai for a summer internship but it was never able to happen.

When asked to name people who have been influential in my life and especially in my desire to be a missionary Robert Reagan is one of the first people that comes to my mind. Please continue to pray for Robert and his family. The Lord has done mighty things through him and he has a desire to do so much more in Thailand.

The link to a group with updates from Robert on facebook is: http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=27478428628

New Update!!

After typing this I received an email that yesterday's biopsy of one of Robert's tumors at the head of the pancreas show that it is NOT cancerous. He will have surgery Thursday to remove the larger tumor near the end of the pancreas and they will then preform further tests to determine if cancer is present in those cells. This is wonderful news since now the surgery is much more minor. Continue to pray that God gives Robert many many more years in Thailand to serve and reach others. He and his family are an incredible witness to God's power, mercy, healing and love.

Charles

Today as I was driving to work I was drinking a very yummy non-fat Starbucks Mocha and mourning the fact that my gift card is almost empty. When I pulled up to a corner there was a man there with a cardboard sign that said "Can't keep a job, Just trying to get by, God Bless". I try to always keep a box of granola bars or ramen noodles in my car to hand out as needed. I rolled down my window and offered this man a granola bar. Since the light was still red I asked him what his name was and if there was anything I could pray for. He replied that his name was Charles and he had a lot to pray for. He told me that he used to go to church but when he landed on the streets he didn't feel welcome anymore. He said that he really needed prayers to keep a job, be safe and for his family (wherever they were) to be safe. As the light turned green and people behind me honked I told Charles that I would be praying for him.

As Christians, I think that even in our desire to help people around us we can become cold and judgmental. If we see someone on the street we don't want to give them money because "they will just use it to get drunk or buy drugs". While that may likely be true, who are we to say that they are not worthy of our help. Money is not our only resource to help people. We can give them food, a bottle of water, a spare blanket etc.

My mom likes to tell the story of when I was little and I would see people on the street corner - I would go home, make a sack lunch and insist that my mom take me back to where ever it was so I could drop it off. I am by no means saying that I have this service thing down or that I do it perfectly, but it is something I feel strongly about.

In my attempt to memorize James I have been working on the section in chapter two that talks about faith without works is useless. James 14-17 says this "What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. "

I hope that I can truly live that out and continue to learn how to not just have faith in God, but have my actions reflect Him as well. Keep praying for my friend Charles!

Fake Fall

I love fall and I am looking forward to writing a post about it when it actually gets here. This week in Denver has been up in the 80s and tomorrow its going to be almost 90. That certainly doesn't feel like fall. The last several years we have had our first big snow around Halloween. This year I can't see that happening. Maybe it will cool off really quickly and move from hot to freezing with snow but I would hate that.

There are things I love about all the seasons but this is one of my favorites. I love decorating with all the fun "fallish" things like wheat, pumpkins, pine cones etc. I love the smells of candles like spice, pumpkin, apple etc. I love being able to wear soft warm sweaters but not having to be so cold I can't talk when I walk outside. I love baking and cooking certain foods this time of year - pumpkin bread, apple turnovers, soups in bread bowls, fresh fall veggies, etc. One of my absolute favorite things is the trees changing colors - especially the aspens. I get to go to the mountains next weekend for a Women's Retreat and I can't wait just to take a walk and see all the beautiful trees. That is one thing that I love about Colorado that Texas just can't compete with. Hopefully Denver will actually get a fall instead of moving straight to winter - I guess we'll see.

ACU drama

Last week I was having dinner with Josh and he told me about a story he read in the Optimist on line. I honestly could not believe it. Apparently the SA President this year is black and a few weeks ago he walked into his office to find a noose lying on his chair. ACU is doing an extensive investigation and this story has been on the news nationally.
Here are a few links to the story:
http://www.reporternews.com/news/2008/Sep/08/no-suspects-named-in-acu-noose-case/
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=5759967&page=1

When Josh was telling me about this awful incident it made me feel physically ill. I don't understand how things like this still happen, much less that they are happening at a Christian College. Shouldn't we have made more progress than this? In an era where there is a giant melting pot of ethnic backgrounds, beliefs and cultures I would hope that we would be more supportive and accepting of fellow believers. I do applaud the ACU community as it has responded to this incident with outrage and a message that this will not be tolerated. I think this also serves as a reminder that as individuals, and communities we all still have a long way to go to love like Christ.

One Year

This weekend marked a year since Josh and I had our first miscarriage. It was a tough weekend to say the least - Josh is out of town at ACU's Lectureship so that didn't help either. It has been a challenging year having not only one, but 2 losses, surgeries etc. But instead of writing a sad, depression post I decided to write a list of the good things that have happened in this past year and some of the ways that God has blessed us.
- I got a new job that I (still) love.
- We spent a great Christmas in Arlington with Josh's family - the first time we have all been together since Jared and Lauren got married.
- Josh took me to see the White Christmas musical for my birthday.
- My brother Jeremy got married to a wonderful girl.
- My sister Aletheia graduated from high school and started college.
- Josh and I were able to go on several weekend trips in the mountains.
- I found out about a new missions opportunity I can get involved in.
- Josh planned his first ever "Family Retreat" at University where Bob and Jerry Strader spoke and it was wonderful.
- Because of our pregnancy struggles we (especially me) have formed some new and close relationships with others who have gone through this.
- Josh's parents came to visit us.
- The youth group was able to go to Mexico for their first ever non US mission trip.
- We bought a car.
-Several different friends and family members came to visit.
-And...we have been able to get closer to God and each other in incredible ways.

Hopefully this next year will bring even more blessings. I know we will always have struggles but it is my hope that through those we look to God and that the joys outnumber the sorrows.

Wedding Story

I decided instead of stopping at the engagement I would go ahead and tell the story of our wedding.

My mom and her husband Larry and my dad had agreed on a modest wedding budget. The semester before we got married I was taking 18 hours of classes and planning the wedding. I planned the whole thing myself and was very obsessed with doing everything as cheaply as possible. I bought my veil online for $15 since the ones at Davids Bridal were about $75. I think I enjoyed trying to be so thrifty because it also made me be more creative.

We knew that we wanted to get married on December 20, 2003. That was more out of a desire to not wait until summer rather than anything special about that date. But, I do love love love Christmas and the whole holiday season. Since it was right before Christmas the choice of flowers and decoration is somewhat limited. I decided on beautiful red dresses with white roses and holly berries for the bridesmaids. I had the dress of my dreams and red roses and holly.

Pleasant Ridge was due to start construction on a new auditorium, atrium area and classroom wing the first of the year so we had I think the last wedding in the old auditorium. There was a really neat stone wall at the front of the church so we set tons of candles up there and intertwined garland. The isles were lined with garland and lights and instead of tons of flowers in the front of the church I had candelabras with decorated Christmas wreaths.

One of the things that I will never forget about my wedding was how personal it was. It truly reflected Josh and I - who were are and our relationship. I had several people ask for a cd of the wedding music - it was not very traditional but each song had a special meaning. One of my 2 favorite things about the ceremony was the unity candle. After Josh and I prayed we had the whole wedding party come up and surround us to say a prayer. During that time my youth minister who was performing the ceremony saw my pooh bear sitting on the floor behind the candle stand (my mom put him there earlier). So when we were done praying Rick held up pooh and made a few jokes. My other favorite part of the wedding was the vows. Josh and I not only said vows but promises. We had each written 5 promises to the other and kept them a secret. We both ended up witting several of the same things but we each also added one funny thing. My promise to Josh (that I admit I don't do very well) was to always keep Dr. Pepper in the fridge. His promise to me was to always have my inhaler beside the bed when I needed it. When he said that me, my mom, Josh's mom, Josh's grandmother and all the bridesmaids started laughing. What Josh didn't know was that my inhaler was tucked down the front of my dress. I put it there more as a joke but also in case I needed it. When everyone laughed and whispered to him that it was down my dress and he turned bright red.

Some highlights from the rest of the event were: Josh's Dr. Pepper shaped, red velvet flavored grooms cake; leaving in the decorated youth group bus; toasting with Dr. Pepper instead of champagne (not to mention that we were in a Church of Christ where my husband was employed); and as we walked back down the isle to the Shrek version of I'm A Believer Josh's dad entertained everyone with his dance moves.

In a few months we will celebrate our 5 year anniversary. I know that it isn't a huge milestone but to me it is such a blessing. The time has flown by in some ways and in some ways it seems like such a long time.

My job is never dull

This past week I was on call for my agency. Not only that by some of my foster families have my cell number. So, on Sunday night after going to our small group and the gym I was in bed and planning on reading for a few minutes before falling asleep.
That did not happen.

First my cell phone rang, then the on-call phone rang. It was Ayanna. One of my the foster parents that I work with. Ayanna has been doing foster care for awhile but recently took on the new challenge of doing mutual care (pregnant teen girls). We had recently (about 4 weeks ago) gotten our frist placement, a 15 year old girl named Sarah (not her real name). Sarah has already struggled in the home and is defiant, bosy, non compliant and manipulative. She was also 8 1/2 months pregnant. Ayanna and Sarah had been to the ER 2 or 3 times before when she thought she was in labor. I had told Ayanna not to call me again unless it was real - I didn't want to speed all the way up to the hospital again for nothing.

So, when I figured out who was calling me at 10:30pm I knew that this was the real deal. I put on shoes and a sports bra, grabbed a jacket and got in my car in grey pj pants, a t-shirt and slip flops. I had to go pick up Sarah's mom since she didn't have a car and the grandmother that did wasn't answering her phone. Once I had picker Mom up, we drove to the hospital and went straight up to Sarah's birthing room.

For the next several hours her contractions got closer and closer together until it was finally time for her to push. By this point Ayanna, Sarah, Sarah's mom, grandmother, brother, brother's girlfriend and myself were all in there. It was a new experience to say the least. Sarah hadn't wanted an epidural but after an hour of pushing with no success jumped at the chance to get one. The baby was ultimately born via cesarean early Monday morning.

I never thought I would have a job where I was not only in the delivery room for 11 hours but that I was also in the room with a foster parent and the bio family. Last time we were all together in a meeting and the county human services department Sarah and her family all got pretty heated that she was in foster care etc etc. It's a tough situation and pretty complicated case but I was pleasantly surprised at how everyone came together in the hospital. Mom and Grandma were were respectful and thankful for Ayanna and Ayanna was able to be upfront with the family about some things.

So, that was my adventure Sunday and Monday. We are still uncertain as to what will happen with Sarah and her new baby girl. I really pray that she will be able to accept help, learn how to parent and retain custody of her baby. At this point, since she was not been compliant so far it is likely that she won't get many chances before she has to move to a more structured setting and her baby is put into a separate foster home. We will hope and pray for the best and see what happens.

Something I hate

I was watching a movie on tv yesterday and noticed something that made me pretty mad. Whatever movie I was watching on TNT would bleep out the word that could also mean a donkey but would leave in the name of God as a curse word. There was another word that was bleeped out that seemed a little stranger when there were several others that were not also.

This is so sad and frustrating to me. I don't understand the logic of leaving in "God Damn It" but taking out "ass" (I apologize if typing those words offends anyone - just a reminder that I am not actually using them). I also will not understand why it is ok for shows and movies to talk about everything from intimate homosexual relationships to explicit drug use but its tabboo to talk about faith, prayer or God.

Unfortunately many of the things that are discussed are an everyday part of our society and in a way we have become numb to them. But I don't want to live as though talking about my Savior and my faith is a tabboo subject. We should be just as proud, actually, so much more proud, of that as people are about the sexual choices and party lifestyle. I don't like to focus on the negative things that are going on (even though there would be plenty to think about). Instead I like to think about the positive things that are happening - there are more programs than ever now that help break the domestic violence cycle, stop substance abuse, provide services for underprivledged familes and support teen moms. I don't think society is quite all bad but there are some things that definitly make me angry and are so so backwards.