Where is your heart?

So, besides being good for recipes and craft ideas, Pinterest has been making me think lately. I read something on the site a few days ago that I can't get out of my head.
"If you want to know where you heart is, look to where you mind goes when it wanders."

That is really interesting. Where does my mind go when it wanders? Sometimes it goes to old friends or family, or to things I would rather be doing, often it goes to my to-do list at work and home. I find my self thinking about things that I want to get done whether it's dishes, laundry or sending an email to someone I have been thinking about lately. I will start thinking about music I like, my next work out or the silly thing Addison did. My mind wanders a lot and since I have been paying attention to where it goes I have been embarrassed at how little it wanders towards Christ instead of the mundane things. I would love to focus more on what He is telling me and what I should be hearing rather than what I should make for dinner.

I'm not exactly sure how to change that except to start making a more purposeful effort to focus more at times. I don't want faith and the things that God has made me passionate about and that He is pulling me towards to be the things that I go to the least.

I want to be proud of where my mind goes and where my heart is. I know it will still go to the everyday and the mundane things and I will frequently think about that my to do list but I don't want that to be my first thoughts and my focus.

Thanks pinterest!

Christmas Idea

So, I saw this post on pinterest a few weeks ago that said the 4 gifts that kids get for Christmas: something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.

I LOVE that idea. I could easily buy Addie tons of cool presents. I could make and get everyone else lots of presents too for that matter. I love to give people stuff that I think they will like. It makes me happy. But, I also think Christmas is way to much about "stuff" now.

I know that I don't really NEED much. Sure, there are things that I would like but as far as needs go, I don't need much. But, I also know that other people in my life enjoy buying presents as much as I do. Christmas has become about giving and joy and presents and I think that's ok as long as it doesn't get out of control. That's why I like this 4 present idea. Kids (or adults) can still make lists in those categories but it keeps things controlled and in perspective.

I want to make a conscious effort to be more deliberate about how I celebrate Christmas and make Jesus and celebrating that gift a bigger part of it. I want my some of my family traditions to be about helping others and giving back and not all about what we want. There is definitely room for other Christmas stuff - lights, trees, parties, Santa etc. But, I also want to be aware of the other side of it. I've been thinking about that more and more this year. I don't want Addison to grow up thinking about how much she can get each year and being upset if she doesn't get everything on her list. I want her to be thankful for presents and generous to others. I already see a lot of this in her now.

That's it for today! Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Ninja Warrior -Please Read

I have posted before about my friend Nathan. Now let me tell you about his sister Amy. She is someone I have looked up to for a long time. We really got to know each other when I was going into the HS youth group and she had just graduated from it. We stayed in the same house in Minnesota for our youth group mission trip along with one of her good friends and my friend Kristen. We made a lot of memories that trip - we got stuck on the side of the road and sang VBS songs, we laughed until our stomachs hurt and we learned a lot about each other.

I learned that Amy fought to have her high school allow her to have a bible study on campus, that she marched to beat of her own drum and that she was not afraid to speak her mind. I also learned that she deeply loved Jesus and her family...and that she has MS.

The next summer is when I went to Africa and got very sick. Amy was a huge support to me even while she was away at college. Towards the end of that year we took a road trip to Houston together so I could go to a special clinic that dealt with headaches for a week. Amy hung with me in the hospital until my parents got there and even showed the nurse the best vein to use for my IV (she had lots of experience).

Amy has been pretty open about her journey with MS. she deals with weakness tremors,spasms and lesions on her spine and brain as well as other technical things i dont understand. her health has gone up and down with different medications and situations.

 Recently she has decided that she has had enough and that while she has full trust in God she is also going after a cure. I'm telling you - this woman amazes me. She has two blogs but the one that she recently started about this journey is called "Amy Goes Ninja on MS" - here is the link http://amygoesninja.wordpress.com/ Please read it and find out about her journey. She is also raising funds for a procedure that could rid her body of this illness - what a blessing that would be! Pass it along to anyone else that you think would be interested as well.

Like I said, she is someone that I have always respected and looked up to. When I started writing I mentioned her younger brother Nathan. Nathan passed away almost nine years ago. The Dodd family has been through a lot but they have stayed focused on Christ. I keep thinking that if Nathan were here he would be Amy's biggest cheerleader right now encouraging her to kick MS's butt...i am thankful that she is fighting this and that she is letting the people that know and love her support her financially and prayerfully.

The most wonderful time of the year???

It's really no secret that I love Christmas time and always have. Like, I obsessively love Christmas. I love making and buying presents for people. I love decorating the house. I love Christmas movies and baking and lights and Christmas trees.

The past few years though, I have noticed that I have not enjoyed it as much as I have in the past. I'm not sure if it's because I'm so busy that I'm too stressed to enjoy it or if it just all seems like a little more of a hassle or what. This year has been more fun since Addison is really starting to know about Santa and Christmas. I hope she grows up to love Christmas time too.

So, the other thing this has made me think of is that Christmas is about family and for the past year (or a little less I guess) I have really been wanting our family to grow and that is just not happening like I want it to and it seems to frustrate me more right now than usual. Christmas time is always hard on people who have experienced loss, grief, challenges etc.

At work we tell our foster parents to except the unexpected from the foster kids in their homes as they all deal with being away from family differently. Some of them have happy memories of holidays with their parents but some of them have memories of sad and scary holidays. The kids can be angry, apathetic, sad, or grateful and happy (or all of those things).

This time of year brings out so many different emotions and unfortunately I think sometimes we get caught up in the joyful-ness (not a bad thing) and forget about people around us who may be hurting: people who lost a family member this year, are going through a divorce, have health struggles etc. 

So - thanks for letting me ramble a little bit. Praying that everyone has a blessed Christmas and new year!

Hmmm....

I'm not sure anyone looks at this anymore - not that I blame you since I haven't written in months. I have a bunch of cute pics to upload but first a little update:
My munchkin is 2! She had an "Olivia" party and loved it. She seems like such a big girl to me...and is full on in the two year old stage at times. We are talking throw herself on the ground when she is upset stage. It's not often and it doesn't always last long but oh my goodness it makes me crazy. She is also learning new words constantly and making sentences.She is recently obsessed with snow and pumpkins - adorable! She is doing great with potty training and says goodbye to her poop when she flushes - hilarious!
When we took her for her 2 year check up the doctor said that she was only at the 5% mark for weight and she was a little concerned since she had actually lost weight since an check up for an ear infection a few months ago. I am supposed to do the opposite of all my healthy habits like low fat cheese, not much butter, fat free yogurt etc to help her gain some more weight. We will do a check up in a few months to see how she is doing. It is hard on me that I have a child who does not eat veggies or fruit and is so picky. My favorite foods when I was a kids were veggies and fruits and I will eat anything. I want her to be healthy and eat more than chicken nuggets, grilled cheese and peanut butter and honey.

Anyway - Josh is busy but doing well. He was asked to be on the board of NCYM (National Conference on Youth Ministry) something he has been excited about for a few years. My job is crazy and stressful but it's a needed paycheck. And, I guess I would miss what I do, although I wouldn't mind having a less stressful type of job, working part time or working at a different agency. 

So, I think that's it for now....there really is so much going on but I don't really have much more time to type so it will have to wait.

Two Years Ago Sept 22

Two years ago today I had convinced my mom and Josh to let me out of the house by myself for a few hours. I was supposed to be on bedrest but since it was now ok for Addison to be born it was no longer as crucial and it was fine for me to do stuff if I felt like it. So, I went to the mall for a few hours to walk around. When I got home Josh had chili ready for dinner and I sat on my exercise ball that had become my regular chair.

Contractions started actually earlier that afternoon and I ignored them. They got worse about dinner and I waited, and waited and waited until I absolutely couldn't stand it or barely stand, any longer and then we went to the hospital. I listened to Weezer on the way to the hospital. I had Heartsongs in my head and it was great. We got there and I barely got the epidural in time. Minutes after getting the epidural my water broke. A few minutes later i started pushing and my little girl was here. (By this point it was no longer Sept 22, it was now into the 23rd).

It was a whirlwind  next few days and now I have an amazing, smart, sometimes sassy, independent, beautiful little girl who loves kisses, hugs, Oliva, Elmo, books and butterflies.

Vegas Vacation

Over Labor Day weekend we met Josh's family in Vegas. His brother Jared was there for a wedding and his parents have a condo/timeshare thing so it was a great place for us all to meet sicne we hadn't been together since last Thanksgiving. Plus tickets were pretty cheap.

Everyone was surprised at how big Addie had gotten and how much more she was talking etc. She says "thank you" all the time now and it is so, so sweet. She has also started saying "sorry" we are just trying to teach her when to say it. Josh and i were impressed at how well she did staying up late to accomodate the adults without being fussy. She is such a happy and flexible little girl!

We had a good time on the trip and saw some fun stuff (everyone had been there before except for Lauren), played at the pool and Josh even won some money. Gramps and Addie had a great time together and any time that Great Grandmother can spend with Addie is always special. I could obviously write more but it's the little Munchkin's bedtime so the picture's will have to do for now. 

300th post - Maybe when I'm 30

In honor of my 300th post and my approaching 30th birthday I decided to make a list.

Maybe when I am 30:
-I will actually, finally feel like a grown up.
-I will pick clothes that look nice over clothes that are comfy.
-I will wear make up more than 2 or 3 days a week.
-I will have another baby.
-I will stop loving crazy adrenaline inducing activities.
-I will keep my house clean and cook dinner more often.
-I will actually put away laundry the same day I fold it.
-I will read a more books a year that are for more than entertainment value (other than the Bible).
-I will learn to correctly fold a fitted sheet.

Maybe I will do some of those things when I am 30. Maybe.

300 posts is a lot. I have definitely slacked off on posting in the last year - part of that is because I have been busy with Addie, part of it is being busy with work and part of it is not really knowing what to write about. I mean, our lives are not super exciting. There have been things that have happened that I haven't written about though so I would really like to try and get better. Here's to 300 more posts (if anyone even still reads this)!

July 28th

I woke up today and thought "it's the 28th". That means that today would have been my friend Nathan's 30th birthday. Nathan passed away in 2003 on the day after Christmas in a car accident. Nathan was the oldest one in our huddle class. This is the year that we would/will all be turning 30 so it's a cool year.

We had all been friends for a long long time, some of us since elementary school - Nathan join our group in middle school. We all talked about what we would be doing when we were grown ups and when we would get together. I don't want to speak for anyone else, but when Nathan died right before we all graduated from college it knocked us down. It was rough, and still is rough. He was a friend to everyone, a goof who could make anyone laugh, a guy who was real, a leader, a Marine, a baby brother and a total mama's boy.

Nathan's favorite song was Create In Me. Today I have been singing that song a lot of the day. I have also been praying for his family and friends - praying for peace, joy and a sweet time of remembering Nathan.

I know that God is bigger, God is sovereign and God is good.

Sunday morning Chaos

Sunday mornings are always a little crazy - which has never made sense to me since we usually leave at the same time or later than regular work days. Sometimes Josh leaves an hour or so before Addie and I do, sometimes we all leave at the same time.

Anyway, it always seems like things go wrong on Sundays, especially when it is just me getting her ready. For example, the Sunday after Josh left for Kadesh Addie put her shoes in the toilet. Yesterday she stepped up her game. She was eating breakfast (luckily in just a diaper) and I was less than 5 feet away getting some coffee and when I come back into the living room her stomach, head, hands and face are covered in yogurt and she is making designs in it on her tray. This is not typical behavior, lately she has been doing really well with yogurt and spoon and last time made hardly any mess at all.

Sunday after church we were able to have lunch with a wonderful woman from church, Marita McKay. She is a sweet lady that I have grown to love and respect. She has actually been at University longer than anyone else in the congregation and has been in Denver for about 80 years. I learned so much about her at lunch. Her mom raised 5 kids alone after their dad passed away when Marita was 6. Marita also has 5 kids and tons of grandkids and great grand kids. She made Addie the yellow dress she is wearing in some of the pictures. It is so special to be able to have people here that can be psudeo family for us and Addison.

I may have mentioned this before but Addie has a few baby dolls. One that she recently got from my mom, her Nana. She is so sweet to these babies and puts them to bed, feeds them etc. She loves to kiss them, give them to Josh and I to kiss and so many other things. I was finally able to get some pictures of her with her baby Sunday afternoon. It is just to precious. She will be a great big sister some day.

I never thought...

-that I would say the phrase "shoes do not belong in the toilet". Addie threw her shoe in the toilet this morning when she was angry and then this afternoon decided to try to put to her shoes in there for fun (the lid was up because it is broken).

-that I would have to be thinking up ways to trick my daughter to eat veggies or any sort of fruit. She used to love them and then all of a sudden stopped eating them all together unless they are in chip or fruit rollup form. So, if anyone has ideas, bring 'em on.

-that I would rather buy kid clothes/toys etc than stuff for me.

-that I would care so little that my house is a disaster 75% of the time.

-that my daughter would kiss my "ouchies" or that before I convinced her to call them "ouchies" she would combine "owie" and "boo-boo" and say "boobie" when she was hurt. 

-that I could love each stage that she goes through so much for its own unique things - like even right now when she is stubborn and rebellious she is also discovering more about her sense of humor and her affectionate side. She is also learning so many new skills and words.
 
I knew there are going to be a lot more things that I never thought would happen - some great and some not so great. This parenthood thing is definitely an adventure. 

Two weeks is a long time

Josh is gone for two weeks - first at Kadesh at ACU and then at Cornerstone at OC. First of all, this is a transportation nightmare. I won't get into all of the details of renting vans, trailers that can't go on the rental vans etc but after Kadesh Josh takes 4 kids to OC with him from Abilene and the rest of the adults take the rest of the kids home, the two other adults drive the MS group to OC on Saturday (passing the HS group) then they leave to go back on Sunday. Josh is at camp for another week then bring everyone home on Friday. Like I said,m transportation nightmare.

Anyway, I am used to him being gone - this has been happening every summer since we started dating. But, it is getting hard as Addie gets older. She is now asking about him when he is gone, she looks for him in the mornings or when we get home in the evenings. I tell her that Daddy is working and that we can talk to him later and she is just fine, but she knows that he is not here.

It's also hard because she is headed full speed towards the stubborn two-year old behaviors. My work schedule also has a tendency to get a little insane, especially since I just picked up several new families as one of my co-workers just resigned to move to OK. Each summer I get a new appreciation for single parents who also work full time (or who don't).

But, no matter how stressful and exhausting it is, I try to remember that Josh is doing what he loves and what God has blessed him with gifts to do. I know he LOVES camp each summer but that he also misses us. I hope that someday we can go with him (especially to Kadesh which I love so much too). So, until these two weeks are over we will keep praying for Dada while he is at camp and having lots of fun Mama and Addie time!

Kisses

One of Addison's new favorite things is to give kisses. She makes the cutest "Mmmuuuaaa" noise as she either gives kisses or blows kisses. She is also an "equal opportunity kisser" - if she kisses me, she has to then kiss Josh, Gigi and whoever else is in the room. She has been known to blow kisses to Elmo while watching Sesame Street and to sit and just kiss her baby doll in the car.

It is adorable.

I love that she is so affectionate and loving. Josh just keeps telling her that she needs to stop this kissing behavior before she becomes a teenager. I can't seem to get a cute picture of her sith her kissing face but I will eventually. There was a super sweet picture taken of her kissing my sister in her wedding dress last weekend and I can't wait to see it!

I love this little girl - she is such a joy!!

After the Mavs won the CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

Addison!

I have been so, so bad about keeping up with the blog lately. Really, life has just been a little out of control. So, I have a few minutes right now while Addie is napping so I thought I would upload some pictures and type a few fun things that she is doing.
-She still loves to have books read to her. This is great except that now she is getting whiny when we say no, or not right now.
- She loves to brush her teeth. Hopefully this continues.
-Connie is helping her learn her name. If you spell it she will say that is says Addie. She will also repeat the letters and sometimes say it one her own. Super cute.
-I love her prayers at night. "Thank you (for) Mama, Dada, Nonnie (Connie), Jesus. Amen." and then we get kisses. It is awesome!
-I just cannot believe how much she has grown and how fast she is learning. Really, it is amazing. I have been so busy lately that there have been times I haven't enjoyed her like I should have but I am so blessed by her.

Africa Part 2

So we landed in Namibia after about 24 hours of travel. We flew from Denver to DC and met Casey there. From DC we flew 16 hours to Johannesburg South Africa and had to run to make our flight to Windhoek, Namibia. When we got to Namibia we discovered that half of our bags were missing. Everyone but Casey had at least one bag missing and both of mine were gone. Luckily I had a change of clothes and all my medicine and most toiletry stuff in my carry on.

I was able to introduce the team to John and Martie that night and then we went to a hotel to sleep before driving to Tsumeb the next day. It's a 5 hour drive from Windhoek (capitol) to Tsumeb where John and Martie live. Along the drive we kept seeing signs telling drivers to watch for warthogs on the road. We did see a few baboons in the trees but no warthogs. The country was so green and beautiful - a lot different that the last time I was in Namibia when it was summer there and dry.

When we got to Tsumeb John took us around the town and showed us the new church building/bible school - a definite upgrade from the one they had when I was there last and the orphanage. The building that the orphanage is in is what used to be the church building. We were able to meet the children who live at the orphanage and play with them for a little while before going to John and Martie's house. I will write more about the kids later - they deserve their own post.

The next day was Sunday so we went to services and were able to worship with the congregation in Tsumeb. Everyone was so welcoming! We were luck enough to get our luggage back that morning which was good since we were planning on leaving for Etosha - Namibia's largest game reserve after services that morning.

Etosha will be the next post. I also deserves it's own and will have lots of pictures.

Happy 18 month birthday

My little girl is 18 months old today! I can't believe it has gone by so fast. She is so much fun - running all over the place, talking all the time, giggling etc. She loves kisses, tickling people and reading books. I love that she gets so excited and says "Mama" every time she sees me.

I could go on on but it is actually bath time and if you delay her bath she gets upset. I am so incredibly blessed by this sweet girl!

I have lots more pictures, these are just the only ones on this computer...all the others are on Josh's computer!

Africa Part One

Well, before we get to the actual Africa trip I will talk a little about what lead up to me going on the trip. A little over a year ago I was at an area-wide youth retreat that my friend Casey spoke at. The theme was Unsafe. I had already been thinking for a long time that I wanted to go back to Africa but the timing never seemed to work out. At that retreat God was really speaking to me through some of what Casey Pate was saying and I decided that I was going to make a trip happen. I talked to Josh and we decided that March would be a good time for me to go with his schedule. I started to put some of the pieces into place and eventually asked some friends to go and announced to my church that I was going and whoever wanted to go with me was welcome but that the details/dates etc were set. I was excited when 4 other people decided to go also but I also would have been content to go on my own. I have gone to Africa several times before and love it. It's hard to explain it really. There is something about the people and the land that really get into your heart and changes you. I wasn't sure if and when I would get to go back again so I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. I will always try to encourage the kids Josh works with, as well as adults to get involved in missions - it really is a powerful experience and an incredible way to share Christ.

Anyway....It was a challenge to figure out what Josh and I were going to do with Addison while I was gone. Eventually we decided that she would spend time with 2 of the 3 set of grandparents so that Josh could still work since Connie, who takes care of her during the days was also going on the trip.

At first I wasn't nervous about it leaving Addison, I got worried as the trip got closer just because it was the longest I have been away from her - before that it has just been a weekend. She is a pretty adaptable and flexible little girl so I thought she would do well but I was still nervous about how it would affect her. She ended up doing great and not having any problems at all other than that she was still recovering from being sick the week before.

Josh was great and so supportive of me going. He had been to the same place in Namibia that I was going to - we went together 7 years ago so he had a good idea of where I would be, what I would be doing and who I would be with etc. He helped me do everything I needed him to in order to get me ready to go.

It was a rough few weeks before we left. I was working long days and even some weekends. Addie had been sick for almost 2 weeks and worse more sick than she had ever been before. It seemed like there was so much going on. I ended up getting sick the Sunday before we left and just tried to ignore how bad I felt. I kept telling myself I could sleep on the plane.

We finally were able to leave on March 3rd - ready to go to Tsumeb Namibia and work with John and Martie D'Alton, the Tsumeb Bible School, an orphanage there and help build a church building in a village in Northern Namibia. 

So sweet

Last night I was putting Addison to bed and started sing "Jesus Loves Me" to her as I was putting her pjs on. And...she started doing the hand motions! At first it was just like hand flapping but then I could tell what it was and she was doing the sign for Jesus.

It was so sweet and really just beautiful. She is not only learning so fast but she is learning about God. She may not totally know what the song means yet but I love that she is hearing it and learning it. I told Connie today that she was doing the motions and Connie was so excited too! She had been singing it to Addie last week.

This is just a short little post but I wanted to share this precious moment!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Today the HIGH in Denver is -1. Right now it is -10 and feels like -24. That's not cold, it's frigid.

To make things worse, my entire family is sick. I have had a sore throat for weeks and Addie has had a runny nose for several days. Now, since about Sunday, all three of us are stuffy, coughing and just generally miserable. I guess this is the beginning of years of passing around any kind of bug no matter how much I clean.

So, I was thinking about some things that make me feel better on days like today and thought I would share them.

Josh got some Puffs Kleenex with Vicks and they are awesome! I also got some things called Boogie Wipes for poor Addison's nose - it was just raw. I never thought I would buy extra stuff like that buy in this case it was needed and has helped.

 For a few years Josh has had some great sheepskin slippers from Old Friend. This year for Christmas he got me some. They are wonderfully warm and soft and one of the best things is that the sole is removable so it can be washed, fluffed and then put back in. I love these!

Then there is beverages. The old stand by is OJ - we all drank an entire carton in 24 hours. Addie's was diluted with water, Josh and I just drank it by the large cup full. We had a nice dinner together on Friday so I had some champagne in the house so I even made mimosas at one point.
The other favorite drink when I don't feel good is hot tea - more specifically is Joy tea from Tazo and Starbucks that you can only get at the holidays so I stock up. It just seems to make me feel better.

I am hoping we will start feeling better soon. As icky as I feel, as I know Addie and Josh feel, this weather makes me extremely thankful to have a house that I can heat, a coat, etc. There are so many people in Denver who don't have those things and these temperatures are so dangerous for them. I am so blessed and I want to do what I can to help others. One of things I have tried to do for several years is to always keep gloves, granola bars and water in my car. My mom started knitting scarves for me out of extra yarn to add to those things. I will give them to people when I see them on corners. Even those things seem so inadequate at times.

That's about it for now. Since today is technically a work at home day I probably need to get some work done