House Update

The seller made a slight counteroffer but we accepted it so we are officially (almost) under contract! We have the closing date tentatively set as March 4th and then we can move in that weekend.

WooHoo - We found a house!

After months of looking at places, dealing with lending companies, starting to pack, and getting really anxious Josh and I have finally found a place we love! It is a 2 bedroom town home with a great, fully finished basement, beautiful kitchen and living room and a private patio. This is by no means our forever house but it will be great for a few years. It will cut our commutes just about in 1/2 also. The paint colors are beautiful and I probably won't even change them - less work is always nice.


We are making an offer today so pray that they accept it!! We wouldn't move in until the first part of March since it is still occupied but that is fine with me as long as we get in as soon as we can.

Keep us in our prayers and we will let you know what happens!

Pictures as it is now (not our stuff)

Chance of a Lifetime

Before I start going into detail, let me say that I have my sister's permission to tell this story.

For those of you who don't know - my sister Aletheia (who I affectionately call Goober) and I were both adopted as infants.

I have very little information on my biological family. When I was very, very sick after a trip to Africa my parents tried to contact them to get medical information. They were able to get ahold of my maternal grandparents through our adoption agency but they were basically told that the family did not want to even acknowledge a child was given for adoption and they wouldn't help at all. That's beside the point, this is really a story about my sister. Aletheia has always had pictures and letters from her birth mom, who I will call Jill. She never had much information but at least had a name and a face. She knew when Jill had another daughter etc.

I think Goober has struggled with being adopted more than I did. This could be for a variety of reasons including differing personalities, experiences, etc. My parents did a great job of dealing with having 2 adopted children and 2 bio kids. We each had special days where we got to go through our baby books, pick a place for dinner etc. My brothers were never treated any differently than Aletheia and I were. Although, I definitely look more "out of place" in family photos that Goober does. My brothers are both around 6'6 and blond. Aletheia also very tall and her hair is almost the same color as theirs is. My parents also always gave my sister and I the control over who knew we were adopted and who didn't. Sometimes it was annoying to have my mom ask if she could tell someone, but I appreciate the sense of empowerment that it gave me. When we each turned 18 my mom (and dad) told us that if we wanted to look for our birth parents they would help us find them - they just wanted to be a part of the process. When I turned 18 I really wasn't interested in finding my biological relatives. I have thought about it often and once even started the process but it isn't a deep seated need that I have. In contrast, I think Aletheia has always felt a missing piece and a need to meet her birth mom.

This Christmas she had that opportunity. My mom had contact Christian Services of the Southwest and was able to get in touch with Jill who was very excited to meet with us. We were all in Abilene for Christmas so on the 23rd my mom, sister, sister in law and I drove to the DFW area to meet Jill and her daughter Anna.

Goober was incredibly nervous (obviously) but she did a great job. Anna, her younger 1/2 sister has some mental illness issues and Aletheia handled them with patience and grace. She was able to talk with Jill first with just my mom and then with Krista and I. I think she got questions answered, fears eased etc. It was a very emotional draining day but I think it turned out really well.

One of the things that amazed me is how much Aletheia's profile and Jill and Anna's profiles look alike. Aletheia and her sister are obviously related and look a lot alike. I think I will be able to put a picture of Jill on here but will not put one of Anna. Oh, another cool thing was that Aletheia wanted to buy a bible for her Anna. She put a lot of thought into choosing one, highlighted some of her favorite verses and wrote and touching letter in the front. I hope that Anna not only loves the gift but is able to have a stronger relationship with God because of it.

My mom also handled everything very well. She was super hyper (nerves) but was very loving and gracious towards Jill. She thanked her several times for the gift of my sister.

I could probably keep writing for a long time about this but I won't. I will finish by simply saying that God works in mysterious ways. He took a situation 18 years ago that could have been devastating and worked so that I have the best sister ever. What a blessing families are!

History Was Made

Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, In dependant, etc - it doesn't really matter. On Tuesday the nation wrote a new page in history. Barack Obama was sworn in as President of the United States. Whether you like him or not, that was historic. Whether you agree with his politics and ideas or not, he is brave.

Obama had to wear bullet proof clothing because the chance was so high that he would be shot. How terrifying for a husband and father. Yet, he and Michelle still took the chance because they believe they can make a difference.

I am a straight, white, relatively privileged individual. I cannot truly understand what this moment in history meant to people whose parents and grandparents couldn't drink from certain fountains, sit in certain seats or walk on a certain side of the street. I talked to several black friends and co-workers on Tuesday - they were proud and moved beyond words. But this victory isn't just for them, it is for the country. What a long way we have come from slavery, slaughtering Native Americans, refusing women the right to vote, and many other injustices.

I am just excited to be able to say that I was able to witness that part of history. What a story to be able to tell my grandchildren some day.

Pomegranates and Black Eyed Peas

I love pomegranates and black-eyed peas (the veggie, not the band - although they are cool too). I also like brussel sprouts, asparagus, black beans, sweet potatoes, zucchini, mushrooms, spinach, rhubarb, squash, coconuts, star fruit, mangos, any berry, and really any other produce except saurkraut and tomatoes. A lot of people do not like even half of those. I like to eat weird things. When I was little and we could pick what we wanted to eat on our birthdays I wanted my mom to make me lobster and artichokes. This was when we lived in New England and lobsters weren't a million dollars.

The first Christmas Josh and I were married (5 days after our wedding) we were at his parents' house. Josh's mom likes to eat new and different things but unfortunatley Gary, Josh and Jared do not. So, since I was the first girl added to the family and I liked weird foods, she made stuffed artichokes. I loved them, I don't know if anyone else did or not.

I am actually quite proud of Josh - when we started dating, got married etc. he would only eat basically green beans, carrots, potatoes and corn. He now enjoys asparagus, mushrooms and occasionally a spinach salad. Next on the list is any type of squash although I anticipate getting him to like anything in that group will be much more difficult.

Pomegranates are almost out of season and I am dreading that. I will hopefully be able to eat many more before they are done for the year. It's a good thing black-eyed peas come in a can.

Things people don't tell you when you get married:

I'm sure there are a lot of things (and my friend Melanie is going to write a book about them). But one of those things is that it is not always easy to have a baby. I grew up thinking that if a girl wasn't on birth control you would get pregnant the first time you ever had sex. Now, I'm sure for some people that is true. For me, its not. It's been about 10 months since the last time Josh and I were pregnant. The first 2 times it happened relatively quickly - this time, not so much. Most days I am ok with that, but some days, like today, it's more difficult.

Another hard thing is how do you talk to friends about things that are "real life problems". I had a lot of friends growing up and could talk to them about a lot of things. Even though there were a lot of things that were a big deal and fairly serious, it usually wasn't hard to talk about with friends. I'm finding this to be different. How do you bring up "so, I've lost 2 babies and can't get pregnant again" to friends - even friends who have been there?

I really am not wanting this to be incredibly depressing so I apologize if it is. Really, it is just venting. I have read some other blogs by people who are struggling with miscarriage and/or infertility. Unfortunately, I am not nearly as eloquent in writing about walking those paths. I wish I was able to write more about that part of my life but there are few things that hold me back: the fear of alienating myself from others, not having any idea of what to say, not wanting to dwell on the past etc. So, what I do instead is sporadically write things on my blog when the inspiration strikes.

So, on that note, thank you for listening. There really are a lot of things that people don't tell you before you get married.

My favorite things when I am sick

Josh and I have both had nasty colds and sore throats this week. Unfortunately Josh is also leaving today to bring his Leadership Team kids to Winterfest in Arlington. I get to stay home and rest.

This prompted me to think about some of the things that I like when I am sick and whinny.

*a good book - this is key, I could read all day.
*lots of hot tea and water - usually I drink tea with milk but when I'm sick it is green tea with lemon and honey.
*soft pj pants, socks, and a big worn in sweatshirt.
*Shower Soothers - awesome.
*old/favorite movies- some favorites are Casablanca, An Affair to Remember, You've Got Mail, Girls Just Want To Have Fun etc.
*Soup-either homemade Chicken Noodle, or Broccoli/Cheese from Panera
*mindless TV- Murder She Wrote, Boy Meets World, Law & Order and Walker,Texas Ranger make me feel better
*my Pooh Bear
*Smoothies
*a clean house

Biggest Moon of the Year

On Saturday, Jan. 10 the full moon was 14 percent wider and 30 percent brighter than usual. It was absolutely illuminating the night. I guess it was called a Perigee full moon, and come around once or twice a year. There was one like it in December also. The news said that if you were in a particularly snowy area, the reflection was bright enough to create enough light to read a newspaper. Even if you weren't “with snow" it was still amazing! A perigee is the point where the moon gets closest to the Earth in orbit, so this weekend’s full moon will be big and bright just about anywhere— as long as it’s not too cloudy.

I know that science can explain all this, but I am giving all the credit to our Creator. I mean, how beautiful are these pictures? It was even better in real life. Our God is amazing and nature is such a testament to his glory and majesty!

Weekend Updates

Josh was skiing at Crested Butte after NCYM and supposed to get back on Saturday after lunch. I was planning on going to lunch with my friend Molly that I haven't seen in almost a year then come home to see Josh. I had also scheduled for Josh to get a massage after skiing -he had a busy week.
Well, Molly and I met for lunch but it was a long wait to get in and then the waiter took awhile. So by the time we were done Josh was already home and was about to have to leave again. Frustrating.
As I was driving home (I was close to our church by Cherry Creek mall - very fancy and snotty) I was at a light and the poor girl behind me rear ended me which caused me to hit the mean lady in front of me. We looked at the cars, called the police and then drove to the mall parking lot. The girl that hit me was a nurse on her way home from the hospital. She was super apologetic and felt really bad. She was also worried because she was driving her roommates car. Her car really wasn't damaged and the lady's car that I hit (who also yelled at me) only had one little scratch. Unfortunately my car got the worst of it. I had several big scratches on the rear bumper. On the front the girl had been busted and it looks like the hood was pushed up some. It took about 2 hours until I was finally able to leave to start driving home. Josh and I were actually headed home about the same time and I was really wanting to go to the gym to work off the stress. So he drove to the gym with me, looked at the car and gave me a hug. Later that night we went to a movie and just hung out - nice and restful. A funny thing that happened was when I talked to my mom to tell her everything I said that my back and neck hurt and if it still hurt on Monday I would go to the doctor to make sure it was ok. What I actually said was "I will go make sure my back is ok". What mom heard was "I will go make sure the baby is ok". She proceeded to get excited until I quickly reassured her that as far as I know I am not pregnant. It made me laugh.

That was Saturday, now on to Sunday.
I love our youth group! We had a JAM session (Jesus and Me) after church on Sunday afternoon. It was great. The guy that lead the devo did a wonderful job. We are watching Nooma videos and then talking about them. This particular one was called Kickball and was about how sometimes when God says no it is because he has something better in store and our perspective is fairly limited. The video was Rob Bell's son wanting a silly little toy at the mall when his parents (unknown to him) had already planned to buy him something better (a kickball). The son was upset, threw a fit in the mall etc. But he was thrilled when he got the kickball later. The kids talked about if it is ok to question God and get angry sometimes. They decided that those times are the times that help you grow. A part in the video was Rob Bell saying that if he gave his son everything he wanted, what kind of life would that be. We also talked about what good would it be if God always said yes to what we wanted? We would get all kinds of junk when he has things much better in store. Anyway, it was a good fellowship time and reminded me of the truths that God is good and His plan is bigger than ours. That is something that Josh and I repeatedly struggled with after our miscarriages. It was hard to understand why we lost two babies when what we wanted was something good. We learned more about trusting God and His timing to take care of us. I know that He has good things in store for us and our family, I just don't know what that plan is. I do pray often for glimpses into His plan though.

So that was the two big things of my weekend. Hopefully I will get the car fixed soon!

Blog Scattergories

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 10 people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real . . . nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Have Fun!!

1. What is your name: Shiloh

2. A four Letter Word: Star (the first one I thought of wasn't appropriate)

3. A boy's Name: Sam

4. A girl's Name: Sharon

5. An occupation: social worker

6. A color: sepia

7. Something you wear: socks

9. A food: squash

10. Something found in the bathroom: shaving cream

11. A place: Scotland

12. A reason for being late: slept in

13. Something you shout: Sweet!

14. A movie title: Serendipity

15. Something you drink: sangria

16. A musical group: Simon and Garfunkel

17. An animal: spider monkey

18. A street name: Sycamore

19. A type of car: Shelby GT

20. The title of a song: Sweater song


I tag any one that wants to do this. (I hate thinking of people)

Eric's Wife (AKA Amy Dodd)

I have mentioned Amy Dodd before. Amy is special to me for lots of reasons. The summer that I was starting in the high school youth group Amy was on her way out to head to college. But, that summer we stayed in a house together on our mission trip to Minneapolis, Minnesota. A beautiful friendship was formed and I laughed so much I think I injured myself.

Amy has struggled with having MS for a long time. In fact, when I was so very sick with some unknown illness I picked up overseas she was insturmental in helping me form a positive attitude about how to deal with it. There is a lot of days that I still struggle with the pain but I really feel like for the most part I have a good outlook and focus on God's promise to come back for us - seeing Amy battle her own illness gave me an example to follow.

Amy has also gone through losing a brother. It was more painful then I can possibly imagine, but she focuses on Jesus and his promises.

Anyway, before this gets way to long I will get to the point- I reaed a post on Amy's blog today about how she is going to stop blogging because her MS symptoms are getting worse. I wanted to share not only that post with you but some of the comments that follow it. You will be amazed so I hope you take the time to read it all.

About two months ago I started to experience the symptoms of a Multiple Sclerosis relapse. I kept thinking that it would subside soon enough and I could get back to my regular self.

It just hasn’t happened and I want to share with you some of my thoughts about that.

I have known for as long as I’ve known about the MS that it could get worse. I would be lying if I told you that I am one hundred percent at peace with that reality.

After many years of walking unaided, I recently took advantage of Wal-Mart’s courtesy scooter. It was a really big deal to me. I have always figured that such a thing was akin to giving up hope of returning to normal.

Since then, I have given up walking outside my home, except when necessary. I see the benefit that it is to my family that I save energy. I am still able to prepare meals, clean my home, school the children, and be available to Eric.

Suddenly, not walking makes sense.

Can I be honest and tell you that I HATE that it makes sense? I hate that it makes sense that I should have special parking and fat handled toothbrushes and low heeled, sensible shoes and plastic cups. I hate that I have now fantasized about getting my own scooter.

There are a lot of reasons that I wanted to be so honest about how I feel about this. I have a good attitude because I have responsibilities that require me to. But sometimes people mistake a good attitude for feeling good and happy with circumstances. I do not feel good and I am not happy with my circumstances.

I wanted you to know because this spell has affected my ability to write freely without a lot of effort. My thoughts are jumbled and it is hard to get them out in a way that doesn’t leave me hitting “backspace” or “select all” and “delete”. I have decided that I should make my blogging absence official.

I figure I’ll post some of my archives on occasion and still pop in here and there, but I think it is better if I just go ahead and bow out for the most part.

Thank you all for your patience while I hemmed and hawed about this. I hope to get back someday in the not too distant future.

In the meantime, I would like to leave you with one last piece of advice from Eric’s Wife. Whenever I face anything like this and I start to feel a bit anxious, I just adopt my “Whateverdude, Jesus is ABSOLUTLEY coming back for me” Attitude. WA, for short. A Whateverdude Attitude is how I roll. Unless I’m on a scooter, and then that’s how I roll.

Some of the comments that followed:

Susan says:
I will be the first to offer to purchase the horn for your scooter. Because people need to get out of your way! Let me know when you want it installed… I will be there in a heart beat.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Eric's Wife says:
I was really hoping someone would do the same service for me that my dear brother Nathan used to do. He would walk in front of me yelling, “Handicap coming! Make room! Handicap coming!”
Horns are too subtle.

Anonymous says:
I would like to get you a scooter. Do you have your eye on one kind in particular?
January 8th, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Erics Wife says:
Anonymous, I haven’t looked much, but I was thinking small and easy to transport. Thank you for the thought.
Thank you, Darla. I have enjoyed my visits to your blog as well.
Lauren, I also blame Wisconsin. Even though it started before I went there. I’ll be at your place mid-February.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Anonymous says:
I’m looking for one right now. Don’t buy one. Once I figure out which one, I’m getting you one.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Eric's Wife says:
I have no idea what to say. Thank you.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Anonymous says:
I am ordering you a Phoenix 4-Wheel
January 8th, 2009 at 3:45 pm

Eric's Wife says:
I just googled it and it looks great! I am more thrilled about the prospect of owning one than I can convey. Thank you so much.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Christy McDonald says:
Amy, you’re brave, and you’re strong and you’re absolutely right. Jesus is coming back for you. I’ll miss reading your blog during your time off, you have a great way of making me laugh and think all at the same time, but you do what is best for you and your family, that’s the right thing to do. My family and I will be praying for you. As I tell my husband with a chronic disease, God is bigger than this disease. He can choose to use this situation however He wants.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Anonymous says:
So glad! The delivery estimate is Jan. 14 - 20. Just keep an eye out for it.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Susan says:
Wow, now I HAVE to buy the horn. I will get right on that.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Ginger McBride says:
Amy,
My heart breaks for you. As you said, you have known since the beginning that this was a possibility, as have I. As I read this entry, I want to cry for you because I remember all to well the conversations about this exact future and how “not okay” with this you were then. I know that you are still “not okay” with this on so many levels. I have always hated this for you. Thank you for being an example of how to handle and deal with this. Christ is coming for you and Satan can have his horrible disease back and you, my sister, will have the perfect body we all long for you to have. I didn’t think my respect for you could go any deeper. I am wrong. I love you tons and will continue to keep you in my prayers.

To the Anonymous person who purchased a scooter for Amy- you are a true servant and friend of God. Thank you for blessing her in that way. I cannot imigane the expense of one of those things but I know that not having to worry about it would be a blessing to anyone. Thank you from one of Amy’s friends to another. Thank you.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Anonymous says:
Awww. Thanks. I am happy to do it. Amy deserves it!
January 8th, 2009 at 4:10 pm

Kristen says:
I’m crying. I never cry. Clearly this should demonstrate my love for this blog. And for you.
I’m going to miss coming to here and reading your full out hilariousness. And also learning from you.
That being said, I get why you are doing this and am praying.
I always say, “One of these days the Lord is going to Enoch me out of this place.”
Even still, Come, Lord Jesus.
Much love & Dr. Pepper,
Kristen
January 8th, 2009 at 6:54 pm

Lisa Emrich says:
Amy,
That’s so wonderful that ‘anonymous’ has sent you a scooter. I can’t think of a better blessing right now.
Think of the scooter as vehicle of power and life. It will help to keep you out-and-about with your family in your community.
MS can rob us of so very many things, but it can’t take your soul. That belongs to God.
Keep in mind that this may not be a permanent setback. Physical therapy can work miraculous things. I’ve seen that in some of the folks at the PT’s facility I go to. All the patients have neurological disorders and it’s truly inspiring to see what CAN be done.
You will be in my thoughts. And here’s a quote for you:
“Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders and says…
“Oh no… she’s awake!!”.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Shiloh says:
My dear friend Amy - I will not tell you a bunch of emotional crap about how you have taught me how to deal with my illness by how you dealt with yours. Instead I will tell you that I would gladly walk in front of you and yell for people to get out of your way the way your hilarious brother and my good friend did.
I would also love to buy you a helmet someday so I can decorate in bright crazy colors that reflect all that is Amy Dodd.
Love you!
January 10th, 2009 at 12:57 am

NCYM

Today I am going to Colorado Springs for NCYM - National Conference on Youth Ministery. Josh has been there since yesterday when the conference started. I can't take off work the whole week to go but there are some classes that sound interesting and that I can use for work training hours.

The conference has some great classes and keynote speakers -Mike Cope is speaking tonight. But I think that it is even more important for all the men and women attending the conference to be able to spend time with others who know what they experience every day in their jobs as youth ministers. I know Josh really looks forward to this time that he spends with friends and fellow youth ministers. They get to talk about frustrations, joys, funny situations and so many other things. They are all able to offer advice, pray together and just have fun and relax. One of the other things that Josh has said he likes about NCYM is that he is not the one in charge, he isn't teaching and he doesn't have to do anything. He is able to worship and learn for him, not because it is part of the job. I love that he is getting to expereince that this week. Until we were married, I had no idea how stressful just a "regular" Sunday at church can be for a minister. It is hard to be able to get into the worship without worrying about things that need to be done.

Take some time today and pray for any youth ministers you know who have impacted you in some way. They do a hard job and deserve all the support and prayers they can get.

Book Review

I love to read. When I was little and my family would go on road trips I had to pack a back pack of just books (big chapter books) because I read them so fast. My brothers were the same way.

Josh gave me "Cross Country" by James Patterson for Christmas. I started reading it on Sunday night after I finished the book I was currently reading. It is about 400 pages and I just finished it.

Normally I LOVE James Patterson books - especially the Alex Cross and Women's Murder Club series. But, I'm not sure how I feel about this one. Without giving anything away, it is extremely sad as well as political. Below is the synposis that is posted on Amazon.com.

In over a decade of police work, it is the worst murder scene Alex Cross has ever seen. A family has been butchered in their home. And more killings follow. One after the other. Each more gruesome than the last. The only lead is an elusive trail left by a diabolical African warlord know only as The Tiger. It leads Alex Cross into the dark underbelly of Washington DC and beyond, into a true heart of darkness in Africa herself.

Most of the book takes place while Alex is in several African countries. Cross is confronted with unspeakable violence and suffering in Africa. I, more than most people, am all for bringing more of the things that people in Africa struggle with to American's attention, but this was still hard to read. And I doubt that any of it is really exagerated. It did make me want to get on a plane and go help, but I wanted to do that anyway.

So, if you like James Patterson books, I would read this, just be prepared for an emotional conflict and some graphic descriptions.

I will start my next book tomorrow. As of right now I think it is going to be "Close to You" by Mary Jane Clark.