Irritation

Just needed to share an irritating situation. If you don't like reading about breastfeeding or pumping - stop reading now.

So, I was actually given a pump before Addie was born and it worked great until 2 weeks ago when all of a sudden the motor slowed down drastically and it lost suction. So, I was faced with having to buy a new one since she is only 5 months old. I wanted to buy the same kind I had but didn't want to spend the money (my old one wasn't under warranty anymore). So, I had read some good reviews about a miPump by First Years and it was only about $90 for a double electric so I decided to buy it. Another draw was that I could get it right away instead of ordering and waiting. There are some good points about it but....

I am now thinking this was a bad decision and I am frustrated. It works ok but it is a little more painful than the old one and I'm already having problems. Twice in the last week the milk has backed up into the tubing and the pump itself. I NEVER had this problem with my old Lansinoh pump. It also takes longer to get less milk. I don't want go buy the replacement I should have gotten a few weeks ago because that is spending another hundred dollars or so (at least) that I don't really just have lying around. Plus, even though Addison is almost 6 months old I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to keep pumping/breastfeeding etc. How long does this typically last? She is eating cereal usually twice a day. I want to pump because I don't want to lose my milk supply (that has already dipped lately) because she is still taking bottles but in all honesty I have no idea what to do.

Just needed to vent. Any advice regarding pumps, how long to breastfeed, cereal feeding, etc is appreciated.

Update

Just a quick update...

Addie is 5 months old and recently rolled from her back to her tummy (neither Josh or I have seen it yet though). She is talking up a storm and has such a sweet disposition. I constantly get compliments on what a well tempered baby she is - I don't think that has anything to do with me though. I am loving all the new things that she is learning. She brings so much joy to Josh and I.

2 weeks ago Addison and I flew to see my mom, step-dad and sister in Las Cruces. This is the first time that Aletheia (Ant Goober) had met Addie. We also got to spend some time with Aletheia's boyfriend Ryan. It was a great trip. I hadn't seen my sister in almost a year and that is way to long. Now I just have one more brother who needs to meet Addison - hopefully that can happen in May.

Here are a bunch of pictures. Enjoy!

                                                Josh's shirt says "dads against daughters dating"

                                            Shopping with the girls

                                                    Napping with Grampy

        

Drinking Grammy's Starbucks

                                                           Playing with Sandy

                                                   Meeting Grandmama (my mom's mom)

                                                             4 Generations on my side

This weekend Josh's mom (Gigi) is here for a quick visit while Gramps is umpiring baseball tournaments. 
We will have pictures of that soon!

Unsafe!

The theme of Winter Peak this year was Unsafe. My dear friend Casey McCollum was the speaker and he did a great job bring this message to the teens. It was a theme that I was very personally excited about and something that I have always been passionate about.

The basic idea was that God does not call us to be safe or comfortable. In fact, it's the opposite. Casey talked about that every bible should come with a warning label that says "Can be dangerous if followed". He used Purell hand sanitizer as a great object lesson and visual by squirting it in a bible and saying that too often we sanitize the Word to make it safe or more comfortable to follow. Instead of  "love your enemies" we may sanitize it to "don't hate your enemies"; instead of  "flee from immorality" we sanitize it to be more like "stay away from the really bad stuff". If we truly follow the bible we WILL experience loss. We may not be persecuted or lose our lives for our faith like some of the characters we looked at over the weekend, BUT, we may lose our reputation or our friends. God's calling is one that is drastically different from the world.

Another topic that seemed to really resonate with the teens and adults was that we need to be Kingdom-Followers not just Church-Goers. (Hopefully I will be quoting Casey Pate correctly here) Church -Goers worry about the world changing the church. Kingdom-Followers go out to change the world. We need to stop staying in our safe, comfortable buildings and be out in our communities and our world loving people for Christ.

I was convicted of a few things - first that too often I am not the kind of light that I should be in my office. The second is that I know God has given me a passion and love for things unsafe (unsafe things of faith and unsafe things like rock climbing). I frequently get ideas that I really believe are from the Spirit of how to share the word etc but I'm not always great at following through. I want to be consistent. I want to actually do the things that I feel God pricking my heart to do. I have a few things that I am currently praying about that wrestling with. Hopefully I will be able to share them soon!

It was a great weekend overall. Tonight in the youth group class we will be talking about the ideas we came up with of what the University Church of Christ youth group needs to do and deciding on some things that the group can actually DO instead of just talk about. Pray that our teens and all of the teens and adults who went to Winter Peak will not forget what they heard but will continue to grow in courage and faith as they live a life that is Unsafe for Christ.

2 Years

I was on the Winter Peak (Colorado Area-wide retreat) with Josh this weekend. It was a great weekend and I will try to write more about that later.

This is the retreat the 2 years ago (yesterday actually) Josh and my friend Melanie had to leave because I was in the hospital after about to have emergency surgery after finding out we lost another baby - this time due to an ectopic pregnancy. The past two years have been full of peaks and valleys - some of those valleys being in very dark places. But, this year I was at the retreat with a sweet, beautiful baby girl. Wow! God truly is faithful. During the weekend I had several things running though my head - a song and then a psalm.

"Well, everyone needs compassion

A love that's never failing, let mercy fall on me

Well, everyone needs forgiveness

The kindness of a Savior, the hope of nations

Savior, He can move the mountains

For my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save

Forever, author of Salvation

Where He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me

All my fears and failures, fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in, and now I surrender, I surrender

Savior, He can move the mountains

My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save

Forever, author of Salvation

He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave"

****************************************************

"How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,

for he has been good to me." Psalm 13

Favorite Things Friday - Senses

See - I love to see Addie's sweet smiles and watch Josh play with her in bed each morning. I also love to see beautiful mountains as I drive to work every day. (I have a great picture but it's on  my home computer and I'm at work).


Smell -  I have always loved smells. Right now some of my favorites are Addie's lotion (Johnson's Bedtime), the way Josh smells when he gets out of the shower, flowers, and one of my new favorite perfumes that my stepmom gave me - In Bloom.

 Touch - It is interesting that this is what the theme is for this week. Lately I have noticed that I have loved the way my sheets feel when I first get into bed at night - they are soft and flannel and cool. It feels especially good when I have just put lotion on. It just feels relaxing. When I but clothes it's great that they look good but they also have to feel good. 

Taste - Fruit, inventive food combos, wine and Chocolate. I love all of these things. 

Hear - I LOVE to hear Addie's laugh. It is more like a weird sounding cackle but I love it. I cannot wait to hear what her voice will sound like. I love her sweet coos and noises she makes. It's awesome.  

 

O-Other things

I couldn't come up with anything else for O so I decided to use the letter to write about some things that I didn't for previous letters.

A- Adventure - I am thankful for the adventurous spirit that God has given me. I love to climb rocks, swim, hike, backpack etc. I have a huge list of stuff I want to do including hang gliding, scuba diving, sky diving, dirt biking and others. I have flown an airplane, ridden in an ultra-lite plane (basically a motorcycle with wings), snorkeled, and other fun stuff. I don't want to be unsafe but I am grateful for the thirst for life and adventure that God has given me.

C - Cards - One of the things I love to do is make cards. It is expensive at times to buy the supplies but cheaper in the long run. I also think that it is so much more meaningful to not only get a card that was made just for you but to be able to make a card specifically for someone. I am thankful that I have the money to be able to do this. I am thankful that I have a husband who supports this habit and encourages me to make things to de-stress and thinks they are beautiful. I am thankful that I have a great space in my house just for my craft stuff. I love it!

M- Missions - I debated about making this A for Africa but I decided that in the end, while I love Africa, it's not just Africa. I grew up with a heart for missions and have wanted to be a missionary since I was about 8. I married a youth minister so that passion and dream have changed a little but the fire is still there. I also strongly believe that you should not go overseas to teach people if you aren't doing it where you live first. Before sending me on one of my trips to Africa the head of Westover Hills' Missions Committee asked me what I was doing currently to spread the gospel because if I wasn't doing it now then I wouldn't really do it there. Missions, all kinds of missions, and service is something that gets me excited. It's a huge part of me and I love to share it with others. I am thankful that God has given me the opportunity to experience trips to other parts of the world to share His love and I am thankful that He continues to teach me how to do that in my daily life.

E-Exercise - I love, love, love to work out. It's not like I have to wear a size 4 (which I don't think I ever have in my life) or weight a certain amount. It's about feeling good, being strong, pushing myself, being healthy and a positive self esteem. I admit, I like when I am in shape and my skinny jeans fit. But, I also like the way I feel after a hard work out, an intense yoga class or a long hike. I like pushing my muscles to do more. I have noticed huge improvements in my asthma since I started doing yoga regularly. I am not super skinny. My stomach is way more flabby than I like. My arms jiggle more than I am comfortable with. But, I know that I am also strong. I know that I am flexible and have good muscle tone. I am so thankful that God has given me the physical strength and ability to be able to exercise my body. I am thankful that he has given me the passion for sports and activity. I am thankful for the lessons that it has taught me. I hope that I am able to pass this on to my daughter. I don't want her to criticize the way she looks or want to be as thin as a model but I want her to take pride in her body and desire to be healthy.

So, that's it I guess. There are probably more things but I don't want this to be forever long!

In the Bag -

I haven't participated in all of Cassie's baby series blogs but I had a few minutes at work and thought I would do this one. The topic was what to bring to the hospital. For the most part I liked what people have said so far (see McLinkey's for other posts).

For Mommy:

*Comfy nursing bras or looser sports bras. I didn't like not having a bra on because of "leaking" and it just kinda hurt. The nursing tanks from Target are AWESOME.

*Lotion that smells good (I used some from Avon). I used the Orange Ginger Aromatherapy lotion from Bath&Body Works. It made me at least smell clean and relaxed me in labor when Josh rubbed it on my hands and neck.

*Comfy, soft pjs - I got the same Old Navy matching pjs that Ashley had. I also had my mom bring me a pair of old work out shorts that were loose and that I didn't care if they were messed up. Don't bring anything you would be sad if it got stained. I also had a soft robe that was great.

*My ipod. I made a "Shiloh's Labor List". I didn't even have time to listen to it while I was in labor except in the car on the way there but it would have been good.

*Things that hospital gave me that a necessity - Lanolin cream of breast feeding, Tucks pads, Dermoplast spray, the weird net underwear (some people hate them, I loved them), drugs.

Things for Baby:

*I only brought a nice going home outfit and a few onesies. I used mainly the hospital clothes while we were there. They got messy and icky and I didn't want any of the cute stuff I bought or was given to get stained right away.

*A hat was important but I didn't even think about bringing my own. It was probably good anyway because Addison was small so nothing really fit her.

*A baby book to put footprints in.

*A special blanket.

I have to get back to work or else I would keep going.
* On a totally random note: How can I change my font color or style on the blog?

4 Months Already?

By now it's almost 4 1/2 and I still can't believe Addie is that old. It feels like I have had her longer than that but I am amazed at how much she has grown in such a short time.

Some of the things Addison is doing now:
-occasionally rolling from her stomach to her back
-laughing and actually making noise when she does
-staying awake longer
-take naps about the same time every day
-sleeping about 6 hours at the beginning of the night and then 3 or 4 after that
-recognizing our voices - or at least reacting more
-smiling when she sees Josh and I, especially right when she wakes up
-losing more and more hair (this makes me sad)
-wearing mostly 3-6 month clothes (some are still too big)
-she LOVES her bouncer and anything that lights up
-sleeping in her crib and sometimes falling asleep there on her own at night

Last Sunday night I was feeding her and looked down and was just totally overcome with how much I love this little girl. I am so excited that I will get to know her more and more. I am curious about what things she will like, what her voice will sound like, what her personality will be etc. I also don't want to be too anxious and miss this stage. She is just such a blessing to Josh and I.

The Bachelor

I am not a big fan of reality TV overall. I will watch it occasionally and might get into it but nothing like I HAVE TO watch it each week. The exception is The Bachelor. I can't wait for Monday nights.

I kind of want to be on the the show - not to "find love" because I have already found the love of my life, but the experience of visiting amazing places, going on absolutely incredible dates, wearing beautiful clothes etc. As I was watching it last night I was thinking that a lot of those girls are everything that I'm not but occasionally wish I was- first of all they are younger than me but look older, the always have on makeup and look put together. Sometimes I would like to be that "high maintenance" but in all honesty I would rather wear jeans or yoga pants and have my hair in a pony tail. I am drawn to that kind of glamorous life style but when I really think about it I realize I probably wouldn't be happy. I have a wonderful husband that I love - he may not be a model, make tons of money, or be able to take me to castle and a vineyard on a date but he is faithful, sweet, encouraging, funny and mine. Having a closet full of designer clothes and going around the world sounds exciting but it wouldn't take the place of cuddling on the couch with Josh and my sweet baby. I didn't have to go on a tv show to get a chance at true love - instead I worked at ACU Leadership Camps. So, even though I am totally into this show and sometimes wish for that glamour, I wouldn't trade what I have for anything.

I would take roses though.....

Favorite Things Friday - Craft

This week's theme is Craft Stuff. If you know me well, you know this will be a challenge! Here we go:

Fiskars Paper Cutter - I use this constantly because I cannot cut a straight line to save my life sometimes. It has a cutting blade and a scoring blade.


Embossing heat tool, versamark pad and embossing powders - embossing stuff is one of the easiest ways to improve cards. I can also use this to stamp on dishes, tiles etc or decorate candles. Instead of pics of the tools I put pics of finished products of stuff I have made.



Refillable Adhesives - these are so super easy to use and great for so many things!


Blank cards- these are a staple in my house!


and finally anything from Stampin' Up! I love this company. I get all my stamps, ink pads and a lot of the papers here. Go look at the catalog on line www.stampinup.com - it's addictive and I want it all! I just put a pic of my new favorite stamp set.