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Friday, February 27, 2009

Throwing up is not fun

I don't care how great it is that the baby is growing or how good of a sign morning sickness (or in my case, night sickness) is. Throwing up is not something I enjoy or look forward to.

I started reading Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul in an attempt to be more excited and to start feeling all motherly. Instead I think it is backfiring. There have been several essays where these women are talking about how much they loved everything about pregnancy and enjoyed every bit of it - even the throwing up- because it meant the baby was growing and developing. This may be a character flaw on my part, but I am not that joyful and excited yet. I still feel too crappy to be excited. My perception right now is that I'm bloated, sick and exhausted all the time because a little foreign body is growing inside me. That's not saying I'm not glad to be pregnant. I am so thankful! I just thought I would enjoy it more especially after we have gone through so much to get to this point. I guess I will just keep coming back to the idea that this is my first experience with putting my child first. And I will try to remember that throwing up is a good sign.

5 comments:

amy said...

i promise it will pass and then you'll really start showing and it will be much easier to be excited- it'll make it feel more real. i felt nauseous 24/7 for 3 months -- then it just disappeared! praying it disappears for you FAST! hang in there.

erin f. said...

Oh my goodness, I know how you feel. It isn't just the physical sickness, it gets you down emotionally to feel so bad all the time and it makes you crazy. I would have a horrible day and lay crying in bed at night and tell Todd that I hated being pregnant...and then I would cry even harder that I said something bad about being pregnant. It's just a crazy time in evey way and you're not alone! Thankfully I have started feeling better and I am hopeful that I won't dislike it the entire time. And I know that you will get to that point also. But yeah, people who say they loooove being pregnant...I can't say that I will ever be one of them!

Ashley said...

Hang in there Shi!!! I will be praying you feel better SOON!

Sam said...

Here is my personal opinion on those women in your book. They wrote their essays after they gave birth and most women tend to remember things differently after they have their cute babies to look at. Otherwise, everyone would be only children. The nausea should pass, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there, you will get through it!

Cheri said...

Well I have to admit that being pregnant was NOT fun for me either. It will however get better for a few months then at 7ish months you will be tired more. But what makes it all worth it is the first time you see the squishy slimmy little boy or girl that is yours and when they place him in your arms the overwhelming love that starts to gush out of you. I cried when I first saw Justin. It will get easier as time marches forward. You can start to have fun with it when your belly does a random move that pushes you out of proportion. It is amazing. But I do agree yak is a better word. Hang in there the morning sickness will subside. Be careful with the light headed stuff and be sure to tell your doctor.