Another day at the office

I'm not sure how many of you know what I do...I am a foster care case manager. I work for a non-profit agency that works with adoptions and foster care. My job is to oversee the foster homes on my roster and be involved with the kids in those home. I have 7 homes and 19 placements currently.

This job is an ever-changing adventure. Right now I have a kiddo who is in the hospital. His foster mother and I took him to get a psych evaluation done after he had been in the home for 4 days and hadn't slept in 3. He was admitted under a psych hold and has been there for just over 2 weeks. We are now finding out a ton more about this case - his mom is disabled and mentally ill, he was in the hospital previously, and even though social services has been involved with his family before this poor kid has never gotten the help he needed because mom would move him when people started to get concerned.
He calls his current foster mom "Auntie" and his goal is to get back to her house. He is hopefully going to be discharged on Monday to her home. But before that could happen we had a pretty heated meeting yesterday.

Let me first just say that I think county workers generally do a good job for what they have to put up with. But sometimes they just stink. This caseworker did not tell us much info about the kid, did not return phone calls and then got mad and said I was overcommunicating when I was just trying to find out what was happening. Denver county has been going downhill lately and this meeting was just confriming that thought. The county would not take responsibility for anything and is just making life hard for the foster mom and this kiddo right now.

I will spare you the rest of the boring and confusing details but basically my job is rewarding, incredibly challenging at times and always interesting. I really love having a job and a career. I hope to be able to go back to school and get a license as a therapist. I'm thinking that I would like to continue to work with kids in the foster care system.

There is just such a need for good foster families. It's disheartening to hear how many kids still need foster placements and the thigns they have to live through until that happens. There aren't enough shelters, emergency homes, adoptive homes etc. I think this is a problem that while many people are aware of it, they don't get involved or motivated to help. Honestly, what I have come to realize is that middle to upper class familes, even Christian families, are seldom invested foster families. They seem to acknowledge the need but not get involved - whether that is out of fear and uncertainty of what will happen, or lack of desire or just lack of motivation - it is sad. The families that are good, consistent, hard working foster parents are most often from a minority culture and low economic household. Many are single or retired individually.

Yes, foster parents get reimbursed for their expenses and work but it isn't enough at all. If people are in this for the money they are sadly disappointed. Most of the families are in it because they think they can help a child. And they do help lots of children. Those kids may or may not grow up to have what many of us would consider a happy outcome, but they are better off than where they started. One of the most important things that foster parents can do is to teach these kids life skills that they never learned at home - budget, how to clean, how to do laundry, why school is important, etc. Some of the other invaluable lessons are that they can overcome obstacles, they are lovable and smart, that it is ok to be scared or sad but it's not ok to hurt people or be mean.

I know this is long and I am just rambling at this point but this is a topic that I feel strongly about. Most of the time the only press that foster care gets is when something bad happens. If you know anyone who is a foster parent - give them a hug, tell them they are doing a great thing. I would also encourage you to be a foster parent. I don't care if you are young, old, single, working, white, Japanese, poor, wealthy, a parent, retired, etc etc. You can be a foster parent - short term, long term, girls, boys, babies, teens, whatever. There are so many kids out there that need help. Yes, a lot of them are tough and challenging but ALL of them have been through things that no child should ever have to. They need support, love, rules and consistency.

Enough ranting....thanks for reading.