Abilene

I was in Abilene all last week for Kadesh at ACU. The theme this year was Revolution and it deserves its own post within the next few days.

As much as I enjoyed Kadesh, just being in Abilene has nice. It is so familiar and comfortable that it makes me happy. I was able to eat Chicken Express and Taco Bueno - neither of which we have in Colorado. One of my favorite things was Cajun Cones! These are truly the best sno-cones on the entire planet and I ate way too many of them. There are a lot of flavors that I like but one of my favorites is the Blue Hawaiian. It is actually a sno-cream, is bright blue and tastes deliciously like coconut.

Sunday we went to church at Highland (where I went while at ACU). It was one of Mike Cope's last sermons there as the preacher. I tend to have a huge smile on my face whenever he says "pour through me the gift of preaching" as he prays before each sermon. After church I went to lunch with the Shilcutt family and my brother and sister-in-law at El Fenix. I miss Abilene Mexican food.

After lunch I went with Jackie Beth to her parent's house and we hung out at the pool. I guess I am no longer a true Texan because I got a sunburn even after using sunscreen. Admittedly, I did not use a super high SPF, but still.... Anyway, it was not very comfortable for a few days and then turned into a tan. The worst part was my ankles. My feet got pretty swollen because of the heat and even bruised turning an ugly purple color on the tops and sides. It doesn't neccesarily hurt it is just uncomfortable. I called the doctor's office on Tuesday and a nurse said just to keep them elevated while I sleep. That helped a lot but they were pretty big again each evening. I know the heat made this worse so hopefully it will at least be a little better now that I am back in Colorado.

I have several pictures of the trip that just haven't made it onto the computer yet but I will add them in the next few days.

My favorite day of the week

Thursday mornings are one of my favorite parts of the week. That's when Josh and I go on a breakfast date. We started this about a year ago when we realized that there were few days that we were home together for dinner because of both of our work schedules, elders meetings, yoga class etc. These breakfast dates are a time that we can spend together hanging out, catching up on the week and just talking. We have one or two places that we go to but I also like to try out new places that I find.

These mornings are such a blessing to me and I hope this is something we will be able to continue for a long time.

Ewww..

That describes how I feel today. I am not a big fan of gaining a ton of weight even if it is because we will have a sweet little baby in 4 months. I knew that this was part of the deal and I was expecting it but that doesn't make me like it any more. I have been in shape and athletic for as long as I can remember so this is a challenge. I really don't have a problem with having a round, huge pregnant belly - it's the extra fat in other places that frustrates me. I really am eating right, working out a ton and doing things I should but it doesn't seem to be helping.

So, really all I needed to do was to vent that I am feeling totally gross today and I have a feeling it is just going to get worse. Thanks for listening...

Interesting Observation

My cousin brought to my attention that when Addison is born it will be the first time in my life that I have met someone who is biologically related to me.

Wow! I hadn't thought about that before. I will actually know someone who shares part of my DNA. I guess it doesn't make that big of a difference but when I've never been able to say that before it's pretty cool.

Being adopted has never really been a huge struggle for me. Off and on it's been a source of confusion, frustration or whatever. I have never a burning desire to find my birth parents. When I became very sick after a trip to Africa my parents got ahold of my maternal grandparents who said they wouldn't even give us medical history. After that my desire to meet my bio family was even less. After hearing some research on the subject I do think that children who have been adopted often react more strongly to any type of change or loss and I can see that in myself. But it has still never been a big deal for me - being adopted was just part of what made me me. But I am definitely excited to be able to say that I will have one person that is genetically related to me.

Having a baby is like getting married....

I have been thinking about this off and on lately and I have decided that having a baby and getting married are surprisingly similar.

1. You get to register for all kinds of cool stuff that you may or may not end up using.
2. People constantly ask you how the planning is coming.
3. People also feel it neccesary to give you their opinions, advice and horror stories.
4.Your husband may or may not be interested in the planning for these events.
5. You get to do all kinds of decorating, organizing etc.
6. Major life changes will occur.
7. As happy a time as both of these things are, it is also super stressful.
8. And the biggest one...we seem to spend a lot of time "getting ready" for the wedding or the birth but don't seem to spend as much time and energy preparing for actually being married or being a parent.

It's this last similarity that I have been thinking the most about. When Josh and I got married we did the typical premarital counseling, talked a lot about being married etc. but most of the planning and time revolved around the one day event of the wedding - what color bridesmaid dresses, what kinds of flowers, picking out my dress, what flavor and style of cake etc. There were lots of things that I realize now we should have done more work around to help prepare for being husband and wife and living together. Some of those things are things like what chores we would do or hate to do, who was going to be in charge of paying bills, what we would do with merging family traditions etc. I know that a lot of things like that are things that most likely need to be figured out as you go a long; but I still think it is true that we spend more time preparing for a party than for the lifetime changes.

This is really freaking me out with pregnancy. Being pregnant has had a way of making me focus a lot on my health, how I'm feeling, what I am doing now to keep the baby safe etc. We have spent time picking out bedding, deciding on how to decorate the nursery, choosing a name and all that other fun, necessary stuff. What we haven't spent a lot of time on is learning about how to raise a child and take care of a newborn. Some of this stuff I know and some of it will come with time but I think there is more I can be doing now. I have thought about how to breastfeed/pump while working. I've thought about what we will do for childcare and how much time I can afford to take off of work. But, I have no idea how to decipher things like sticking to a strict schedule vs. letting the baby be flexible, what we will do about food and feedings as she gets older (baby food vs. making our own), to swaddle or not to swaddle, what kind of vaccines we want to get for the baby or not, how will we handle discipline as Addison gets older, will we use a pacifier and for how long etc. etc etc.

This could be a lot of my own paranoia and need to know what is going. However I am hoping that it will make me more mindful while preparing for Addison's arrival. I'll let you know if I have any life changing revelations about any of my questions....You can also let me know if you have any input on any of those child raising issues....

Blog design give away

My friend Sharon is doing a blog design give away on her site. She does GREAT work - you should check out her blog - http://redbuddesigns.blogspot.com/

Thanks everyone!

A great day

Yesterday I got back from a 3 day conference (more on that later) and was exhausted! Last night Josh and I just watched a movie and I went to bed. Today I was pretty much on my own since Josh was mowing the grass at church and was then going to Elitches (6 Flags) all day for fun and a Relient K concert.

I slept late then got up to eat cereal and watch tv. I had a massage appointment at 11:00am and while it wasn't the best massage ever it was still pretty great. After that I didn't really want to go home so I went to a farmer's market and bought some yummy looking spinach, asparagus and cucumbers. The next stop was a walk around Bellview Park. This park is cool and has a steam running through it that kids play, a petting zoo and a train. It will be fun to bring Addison there next summer. After that I went home, read and took a short nap.

Now I am headed over to some friend's house for a cookout. Like I said, a great Saturday.

Sleepless in Denver

For the past two nights neither Josh or I have been able to get to sleep or stay asleep. I love our new house but the upstairs gets really really warm so that is one challenge. Sunday night Addison decided to start kicking me a lot harder. I woke Josh up because I could feel it outside of my stomach and wanted to see if he could. But I guess she went back to sleep or decided to be still again. Last night I could go to sleep but not stay asleep and Josh just couldn't sleep at all. Each time I would wake up to go to the bathroom he would switch beds - went to the guest bed, then came back, then went again etc. It was also raining which usually helps me go to sleep....

I leave tomorrow morning for a conference in Keystone, CO until Friday. I am really, really hoping that I will be able to sleep there or else I am going to fall asleep in the middle of some class about attachment disorders or ways to help families be reunited. I don't think that would go over well.

Anyway, we have our next doctor's appointment on the 11th. I decided just to buy the bedding for several reasons. Here is a picture of the one we picked and the picture and the picture of the crib that my dad and stepmom ordered for us.

Creation

Last night in the youth group class they wrapped up a month of classes focused on worship. Dennis, Josh's youth deacon and right hand man was teaching this week. He wanted to do the class about creation. We started off watching a 6 minute video that I think had a lot of the same scenes as Disney's Earth movie (which I saw and loved). While the scenes were showing there was a song playing (no idea who it is is by or what it is called) that was talking about how can we not believe there is a God when we see the world.

There wasn't really a formal discussion afterwards - just singing songs and people sharing thoughts, scriptures etc. Towards the end of class Dennis read this verse from Psalm 119:
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."

He talked about how Addison is being knit together right now. That was cool for me to hear. I honestly haven't taken the time very often to sit and think about how Addison growing and being healthy is not just a miracle but a testimony to God's majesty. I have thought how it is a blessing and an answer to prayer but I haven't given the actual creation itself much pause. I have definitely been guarding my heart against something going wrong. I have tried not to get very emotionally attached to the wiggly images I see on the ultrasound screen. But, it is a powerful and miraculous thing! At the same time my stomach is growing, she is forming organs, eye balls, hair, bones, a brain and facial features. How can this be explained with out God? I'm not doing anything special to really help her grow. I mean, I try to eat healthy and still exercise. I'm not drinking alcohol or inhaling toxic fumes. But, I don't have to concentrate on my body growing a baby. God has designed it to happen all on its own.

Another thing that we mentioned in class last night was the God does not make mistakes. We often assume that he does when things go wrong. But God is never wrong. If Addison comes out without the typical number of fingers and toes, or has a birth mark covering her, or if some of her organs don't work quite right we will still love her. God is involved of all aspects of creation and His ways are so much higher than ours. That is powerful. We serve a truly awesome God.

I just wanted to share those thoughts. Have a great day!

Sissy Time

Several weeks ago my sister Aletheia (Goober) came and spent the weekend with me. She is 18, almost 19 and lives in Las Cruces, NM. We don't get to spend nearly enough time together.

On Saturday we spent the day together and went to a farmer's market that I like, got massages, then walked around a cool shopping district. I love doing girly things like getting massages or facials when we get to hang out together. It's also usually an early birthday present for Goober.

Anyway, we had a great time and I can't wait to see her again. Hopefully it will be before Addison is born but if not I know Aletheia will come up when she is born.