Haiti update and "N"

First a Haiti update:
We have been able to finalize all the Haiti adoptions that were in process. We have also been able to have other kids go home- some families wanting to adopt one child ended up with two and some families who were waiting on referrals from other countries switched to Haiti. God is really working right now!

For the Alphabet continuation:

N- Neurology

I can't remember if I have blogged about this before or not. Some of you probably know this story already anyway.

When I was 15 - just after my freshman year in high school I went to Zimbabwe with my friend Danny Reese and his family who lived there as missionaries with World Bible School. I had wanted to go to Africa to do mission work since I was about 8 years old. My mom and dad were both going with us so my siblings all stayed at friends' houses for 2 weeks. My parents met in Scotland on separate mission teams. They stayed at worked at a church in Edinburgh for several years so on the way to Zimbabwe my parents and I stopped in Scotland to visit for a few days. Then we went on to Africa for several weeks.

We had an incredible trip. I sat and studied with people just hearing about Christ, encouraged Christians who may have been the only believers in their village, spend lots of time in prayer, praise and fellowship. I also got to visit Victoria Falls, climb rocks in Matobos, see all kinds of animals (elephants, zebras, buffalo, cheetahs and lions) free in game parks and other adventures. It was a great experience. I tell people that once you go to Africa it becomes a part of you - the land, the people - they all made a lasting impression on my heart. I still yearn to go back!

My parents and I were leaving a few weeks before the Reese family. We were flying from South Africa to Zurich, Switzerland and then on to Chicago before finally getting back to Texas. I started to feel sick on the flight to Switzerland. During our layover I didn't do anything but sleep. Almost as soon as we got on the plane to fly to Chicago I started throwing up. I think I used almost every barf bag on the 747. I had a high fever, my head and neck were killing me and I couldn't keep anything in my stomach for the whole 7 hour flight. There was a doctor on board from the Mayo clinic who suspected meningitis. When we landed in Chicago an ambulance met us on the runway and took me off on a stretcher to go straight to the hospital. They even quarantined the rest of the plane! In the ER they did a spinal tap and then MRI/CT scans and all sorts of infectious disease tests since I was in Africa. All of this revealed nothing but a small sinus infection. I later heard that the doctors told my parents to let me talk to my siblings because if they couldn't figure out what was wrong I might not make it. I cannot even imagine how terrifying this was for my parents to be in a strange city with a very sick child.

After about a week I was stable enough to fly home to Austin where I was immediately put back into the hospital there. I missed the first 8 weeks of my sophomore year of high school because I was in and out of the hospital, still with no definite diagnosis of any sort or any treatments that seemed to help. At this point, the problem was that I would have headaches so bad that I had to be lying flat or else I would pass out or throw up. At times the pain was worse than having my baby! The only test that ever came back even remotely positive was one for the Epstein Bar Virus which is a form of mono. The conclusion was that I contracted some sort of virus while in Africa that made me sick and the headaches were a result of that. It was diagnosed as Occipital Neuralgia migraines by default.

The next several years were a series of spinal taps, MRIs, ER trips, hundreds of lab tests, over 50 different medications and lots of doctor visits. I even went to a special clinic in Houston for a week.

Long story short, while these headaches have gotten better it is still a struggle. You might be thinking "so why is this in a alphabet of things you are thankful for?" Even when I was first in the hospital in Chicago, I was remembering the lessons about Hope that I had just heard at Kadesh. I decided that whatever happened, I would go to heaven and that God was in control. I have learned a lot from this trial. I have prayed and prayed for this illness to be taken away and came to the conclusion that God may not heal my body but He has healed my spirit. I am who I am in part because of this challenge. I have gone back to Africa twice since this incident and would go again in a heartbeat. I love to read Paul's statement about his thorn in the flesh - God's power is made perfect in our weakness and I have definitely been weak. Another verse that I clung to was "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Cor. 4:17 One of the things I have prayed and continue to pray is that God will use me and this experience to be able to share things about Him and plant those seeds. I have seen some of that already in my life and am excited to see what else God will do.

Thank you to those of you who read this ridiculously long post.

Haiti adoptions

My agency has several families that were in the process of adopting children in Haiti when the earthquake hit. The orphanage where the kids were was damaged but the biggest problem is that they don't have clean water. Some of my co-workers flew to Pittsburgh yesterday to meet a plan of children that have been evacuated from the orphanage. Several of these kids who had already been matched with adoptive families have been on the news. Below is a link to the story - 5 of the 6 kids are being adopted through our agency.

Here is the link:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2010/01/17/tuchman.haiti.orphans.cnn?hpt=C2

There were over 10,000 orphans in Port-Au-Prince alone before the earthquake! I've been hearing a lot of work each day about not only this tragedy but how it directly affects people I work with and our clients. One of my co-workers has an adopted daughter from Haiti who is eleven. She has been unable to get in touch with any of her relatives.

I know that everyone has been in prayer about this situation and please continue to do so. I have been reminded over and over again the last few days of how blessed I am to have a home, clothing, clean water, a healthy child, medication and so many other things. I did not do anything to earn these blessings. I am not any more deserving because I live in the United States. My prayer is that people will come together to help and that Christians can be a reflection of Christ's love in this time.

If you are interested in how to help some of these children directly let me know.

H - Helping People (Blind Side)

I had a hard time coming up with something for H. Then I watched The Blind Side this weekend. One of my first reactions to the movie was that it was hard for me to see. I hear stories like that (and a lot worse) at work every day but at work I try hard to not get emotionally attached. Watching the movie I was able to "feel" it and be emotional.

I want to be like Leigh Ann Tuohy. I want to be the kind of person that would take a stranger in and help them, not to get anything out of it, but because it's the right thing to do and it's what God asked us to do. I love the feeling I get when I am able to help a child in foster care succeed. I am passionate about the work that I do. It isn't just a pay check but it's something I love.

I strongly believe that God did not call us to be comfortable or safe. He called us to do His work and frequently His work is neither of those two things. I want to be a woman who will step out of her comfort zone and love on people that the world ignores.

I am thankful that God has given me the desire to help others. I pray that I am able to instill that in my children as well.

On a side note, my agency I work for has a chance to bring in Michaell Oher. I hope that we are able to - it would be amazing!

E- Employment

One of the things that I have been most thankful for over the last 4 months is my job. I work for a foster care/adoption agency in the foster care department. Our agency is small and my foster care has 4 of us and our supervisor. I love my team - we are able to support each other and we enjoy being together. We are able to laugh and vent about situations we see that really aren't funny but it's the only way to handle it.

When I was on bedrest my supervisor let me work from home so I could still get stuff done, be productive and get a pay check. They have also been totally flexible with me since I've been back at work and love it when Addie gets to come with me.

Jobs are scarce right now. I am lucky not only to have a job but to have a job that I love. People asked me if I was going back to work after Addison was born and why I was going back to work. Even if I didn't have to work financially I would want to at least part time. I worked hard in college for four years to learn to be a social worker. It's something I am good at and I am passionate about. I get to help families and children during tough times in their lives. I get to support foster parents who are also passionate about serving children. This isn't just a paycheck for me but it's something that I want to do. It's hard sometimes hearing and seeing the things that I deal with on a daily basis but it has also taught me a lot. It has taught me a great deal of patience and empathy. God reminds me regularly that my clients and their families, no matter how many mistakes they make, are created in His image and He loves them.

So, I am thankful to work at Adoption Alliance. I am thankful to work with people I consider friends. I am thankful that hopefully in some small way I get to make a difference in the lives of children in foster care. I am thankful that I have a job to help provide for my family.


www.adoptall.org

History Was Made

Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, In dependant, etc - it doesn't really matter. On Tuesday the nation wrote a new page in history. Barack Obama was sworn in as President of the United States. Whether you like him or not, that was historic. Whether you agree with his politics and ideas or not, he is brave.

Obama had to wear bullet proof clothing because the chance was so high that he would be shot. How terrifying for a husband and father. Yet, he and Michelle still took the chance because they believe they can make a difference.

I am a straight, white, relatively privileged individual. I cannot truly understand what this moment in history meant to people whose parents and grandparents couldn't drink from certain fountains, sit in certain seats or walk on a certain side of the street. I talked to several black friends and co-workers on Tuesday - they were proud and moved beyond words. But this victory isn't just for them, it is for the country. What a long way we have come from slavery, slaughtering Native Americans, refusing women the right to vote, and many other injustices.

I am just excited to be able to say that I was able to witness that part of history. What a story to be able to tell my grandchildren some day.

Government Spending

This will be short since most of you will have no idea what I am talking about but...I went to a meeting today with Denver County and some of the CPA (Child Placement Agencies). One of the directors of Child Protective Services with Denver County was talking to us about all of the data they have right now. There are so many kids that need homes - either adoptive or foster and the county/state/country etc doesn't have the money. There isn't enough money to pay for foster parent training, quality care for kids or even money to finalize adoptions in court. It is so sad to me that the country is bailing out automobile companies and not the child welfare system. There are kids sitting in shelters or residential treatment centers because there isn't anywhere else for them to go. I know I see more of the impact of all of this because I work in the system everyday, but it should be something that everyone cares about. With the economy in the state it is in, more and more families are deep into poverty which more and more kids are coming into the system with less and less money to provide quality care for them. Denver told us today that they have hiring freezes and several, what I would consider, necessary positions. That means the workers and staff they do have are overworked and kids fall through the cracks. It's all a huge mess and these children are the ones who are suffering.

I'll get off my soapbox for today. Thanks for listening.

Political Chaos

I have a lot to say about this subject. Let's just get the most shocking out of the way now....I am not a die hard Republican. I know that is almost heresy in Texas but it's the truth.

I grew up thinking both of my parents were pretty conservative - little did I know that my mom, a fellow social worker, was a closet Democrat. The older I got and the more immersed in the social work community I became, the less conservative I became.
There are certain things that are faith issues that I will always hold true. But there also seems to be a shift in my political views that may or may not come from my profession. Democratic policy is historical much better for human services with regard to funding, programs etc. I guess really I am more of an Independent instead blindly loyal to one party.

There seem to be two things that currently annoy me about politics - specifically politics and faith. The first is that I don't like feeling like an outsider, or even worse, less of a Christian because I am not a conservative Republican. Does not registering as a Republican put my salvation in jeopardy? Absolutely not. Does an Obama bumper sticker make me love Jesus less? I don't think so. I may not completely agree with all of his policies but I think that it is rare that there is a politician that we agree with about 100% of things. For that matter, it is rare to have a friend that you agree with 100% of the time.

Political emails also drive me crazy. If the subject line looks even remotely like a political forward I delete the email and have been known to politely ask to be removed from any future forward list. I respect other's opinions and would appreciate people respecting mine. I don't shy away from questions or disagreements, but please, never tell me that Democrats can't be Christians.

My job is never dull

This past week I was on call for my agency. Not only that by some of my foster families have my cell number. So, on Sunday night after going to our small group and the gym I was in bed and planning on reading for a few minutes before falling asleep.
That did not happen.

First my cell phone rang, then the on-call phone rang. It was Ayanna. One of my the foster parents that I work with. Ayanna has been doing foster care for awhile but recently took on the new challenge of doing mutual care (pregnant teen girls). We had recently (about 4 weeks ago) gotten our frist placement, a 15 year old girl named Sarah (not her real name). Sarah has already struggled in the home and is defiant, bosy, non compliant and manipulative. She was also 8 1/2 months pregnant. Ayanna and Sarah had been to the ER 2 or 3 times before when she thought she was in labor. I had told Ayanna not to call me again unless it was real - I didn't want to speed all the way up to the hospital again for nothing.

So, when I figured out who was calling me at 10:30pm I knew that this was the real deal. I put on shoes and a sports bra, grabbed a jacket and got in my car in grey pj pants, a t-shirt and slip flops. I had to go pick up Sarah's mom since she didn't have a car and the grandmother that did wasn't answering her phone. Once I had picker Mom up, we drove to the hospital and went straight up to Sarah's birthing room.

For the next several hours her contractions got closer and closer together until it was finally time for her to push. By this point Ayanna, Sarah, Sarah's mom, grandmother, brother, brother's girlfriend and myself were all in there. It was a new experience to say the least. Sarah hadn't wanted an epidural but after an hour of pushing with no success jumped at the chance to get one. The baby was ultimately born via cesarean early Monday morning.

I never thought I would have a job where I was not only in the delivery room for 11 hours but that I was also in the room with a foster parent and the bio family. Last time we were all together in a meeting and the county human services department Sarah and her family all got pretty heated that she was in foster care etc etc. It's a tough situation and pretty complicated case but I was pleasantly surprised at how everyone came together in the hospital. Mom and Grandma were were respectful and thankful for Ayanna and Ayanna was able to be upfront with the family about some things.

So, that was my adventure Sunday and Monday. We are still uncertain as to what will happen with Sarah and her new baby girl. I really pray that she will be able to accept help, learn how to parent and retain custody of her baby. At this point, since she was not been compliant so far it is likely that she won't get many chances before she has to move to a more structured setting and her baby is put into a separate foster home. We will hope and pray for the best and see what happens.

This is a post I borrowed from my friend Jen Reid's blog http://jenperkins.blogspot.com/ Like me, she has a social work degree. What she talks about here is so true! Since being in the social services workforce I have constantly struggled with balancing my professional ethics and faith - some of the time they are aligned with each other but sometimes they are in conflict. There are times I have to work with families when I don't agree with their lifestyle choices and I have to give them the same professional courtesy and hard work that I would give any other family. One of the things social work has taught me is to have an open mind and open heart when dealing with people. I have to be polite and considerate of parents I internally might despise because they hurt or neglected their children - but I also have learned to look at them with a fresh perspective and try to see what their strengths are, what contributes to their circumstances and what they need. Sometimes I think that all Christians should have social work training. As Christians all to often we look down on others instead of thinking what we can do to help (the panhandler on the corner, the alcoholic, the pregnant teen, the man having an affair). As social workers, we try to first ask what people are needing and what we can bring to the situation to help. Bottom line of my ramblings - While social work and faith have many of the same values at times they are drastically different and it is a challenge to balance them.

"I received my BSW (social work) from ACU and was taught about this helping profession from people whose knowledge of social work and their deeply rooted faiths fit together like white on rice. somehow, at UT, this has gotten lost for me; lost in the severely opinionated, political, and let's just say different lens of which these subjects are taught to me. I think as a general whole, social workers are passionate about the rights to which all people should have, being the voice for those who can't speak, being advocates to change policy that effects those who are vulnerable, even changing the way we perceive those with the worst stigmas in our society. That is common. But then there are foundational biblical truths that have become...blurry. I lost my own voice, wanting to be polite, wanting to conform, and wanting to fit in. It is sad that is true for me at 25. I am not ashamed of what I believe, it is apart of who I am, but I am afraid of how to communicate that to a school so obviously fighting for worldly acceptance. Not in reverence to an all loving and all powerful God.

I have been searching why I have had my attitude about school. I have complained about the program, the teachers, the whole process, without identifying why I may feel so out of place, so uncomfortable in my school. It took me a year and a half to communicate that.

Let me clarify one thing. It is not a waste of time, I value the education that I am receiving and there is no doubt that a professional degree will open doors for me to do a job that I do believe I have a God given gift for. I just didn't realize that some definite soul searching and questioning, not to mention some serious attitude, would be such a big part of the deal."

Hospitals

One part of my job that I don't necessarily enjoy is hospitals. More specifically Psychiatric Emergency Rooms. Over the past 2 days I have spent at least 10 hours in a Denver hospital's Psych ER.

It makes me sad to seea kid (or adult for that matter) struggle so much that we need to take them to the hospital. Whether the problem is biological or environmental it is still sad. The kids are either really scared or really angry at the whole situation. Plus, hospitals don't always run smoothly and 9 times out of 10 the kid and the family suffer because of it.

I can't really go into a lot of the details of the case I am currently struggling with, but please keep this family and the kiddo in your prayers. The foster family is working so hard for this little boy and it just seems like nothing is coming together the way we want it to. The county isn't doing what they need to do, the schools aren't doing what they need to do and even worse, the courts are slow to get involved to get things done.

I am still on call this weekend so I'm hoping thattoday was my last trip to the hospital for awhile.

I love flexiblity

One of the things that I love about my job is that it is so flexible. I tend to have several evening or early morning appointments or home visits a week so I can adjust my hours accordingly. It is great to be working with a team where we are all pretty independent. This week starts a new schedule that we are trying. The other girl that is full time, Lacy, and I are going to be working a flex schedule on Fridays. So we will each have every other Friday off. I'm super excited about this for the summer - that means I have a whole day to do nothing and be at the pool if I want to!
There are a lot of frustrating things about social work in general - bad pay, secondary trauma from all the stuff we hear all day, lots of rules and regs to follow...but the flexible work schedules is one redeeming quality.

Another day at the office

I'm not sure how many of you know what I do...I am a foster care case manager. I work for a non-profit agency that works with adoptions and foster care. My job is to oversee the foster homes on my roster and be involved with the kids in those home. I have 7 homes and 19 placements currently.

This job is an ever-changing adventure. Right now I have a kiddo who is in the hospital. His foster mother and I took him to get a psych evaluation done after he had been in the home for 4 days and hadn't slept in 3. He was admitted under a psych hold and has been there for just over 2 weeks. We are now finding out a ton more about this case - his mom is disabled and mentally ill, he was in the hospital previously, and even though social services has been involved with his family before this poor kid has never gotten the help he needed because mom would move him when people started to get concerned.
He calls his current foster mom "Auntie" and his goal is to get back to her house. He is hopefully going to be discharged on Monday to her home. But before that could happen we had a pretty heated meeting yesterday.

Let me first just say that I think county workers generally do a good job for what they have to put up with. But sometimes they just stink. This caseworker did not tell us much info about the kid, did not return phone calls and then got mad and said I was overcommunicating when I was just trying to find out what was happening. Denver county has been going downhill lately and this meeting was just confriming that thought. The county would not take responsibility for anything and is just making life hard for the foster mom and this kiddo right now.

I will spare you the rest of the boring and confusing details but basically my job is rewarding, incredibly challenging at times and always interesting. I really love having a job and a career. I hope to be able to go back to school and get a license as a therapist. I'm thinking that I would like to continue to work with kids in the foster care system.

There is just such a need for good foster families. It's disheartening to hear how many kids still need foster placements and the thigns they have to live through until that happens. There aren't enough shelters, emergency homes, adoptive homes etc. I think this is a problem that while many people are aware of it, they don't get involved or motivated to help. Honestly, what I have come to realize is that middle to upper class familes, even Christian families, are seldom invested foster families. They seem to acknowledge the need but not get involved - whether that is out of fear and uncertainty of what will happen, or lack of desire or just lack of motivation - it is sad. The families that are good, consistent, hard working foster parents are most often from a minority culture and low economic household. Many are single or retired individually.

Yes, foster parents get reimbursed for their expenses and work but it isn't enough at all. If people are in this for the money they are sadly disappointed. Most of the families are in it because they think they can help a child. And they do help lots of children. Those kids may or may not grow up to have what many of us would consider a happy outcome, but they are better off than where they started. One of the most important things that foster parents can do is to teach these kids life skills that they never learned at home - budget, how to clean, how to do laundry, why school is important, etc. Some of the other invaluable lessons are that they can overcome obstacles, they are lovable and smart, that it is ok to be scared or sad but it's not ok to hurt people or be mean.

I know this is long and I am just rambling at this point but this is a topic that I feel strongly about. Most of the time the only press that foster care gets is when something bad happens. If you know anyone who is a foster parent - give them a hug, tell them they are doing a great thing. I would also encourage you to be a foster parent. I don't care if you are young, old, single, working, white, Japanese, poor, wealthy, a parent, retired, etc etc. You can be a foster parent - short term, long term, girls, boys, babies, teens, whatever. There are so many kids out there that need help. Yes, a lot of them are tough and challenging but ALL of them have been through things that no child should ever have to. They need support, love, rules and consistency.

Enough ranting....thanks for reading.