Mother's Day and a Special Prayer

My sweet baby and I in our rocking chair on my first Mother's Day!
We went to Cheesecake Factory after church and it was worth the wait. I love that place and we had a great lunch and a delicious dessert to take home for later. The  weekend was pretty relaxed overall - Josh's mom (Gigi) was here so that was an extra treat as well. It was cool to be able to spend my first Mother's Day with my husband's mom. They are really close and she (I think) is a big part of the reason he is the wonderful man that he is.

So, I have you the basics about what we did on Sunday here's what was actually going through my head over the weekend....

I was feeling incredibly blessed to be a mom and to have Addison. Josh and I have gone through a lot to get to this place and it was really special. I know that Mother's Day is about thanking and honoring moms but I'm not sure I deserved much honoring this year. In some respects I feel like I've done a lot, but I know that in the grand scheme of motherhood I've done almost nothing. I was also feeling a little overwhelmed because this new mommy stuff is hard and generally pretty thankless. But really, it's not about thanks - it's about how much I love her and how I want the best for her, a commitment to raising my child to know Christ, and the reward of seeing her grow and learn. I am still learning what it means to be a mother and a mommy. I love that I have a precious brown haired, hazel eyed, sweet and playful baby that I get to learn with.

The other interesting thing about the day happened later. I was going on a walk and was praying on my walk. I was praying and thanking God for my mom and the tremendous ways our relationship has grown, my sister and some of the things that I want for her - including a better relationship with mom, Addie and all the excitement I have for our future etc. Then, I started to pray for my birth-mom. I stopped because I was kind of shocked that I even started going there - it wasn't bad, I just honestly don't remember ever praying for her before.
I kept walking and ever so carefully began to pray again. I felt like I was stepping out onto a surface that I wasn't sure would hold me. But, once I started talking I couldn't stop. I prayed for her to know God  in an intimate, loving and powerful way. I prayed for her health.  I prayed for her family - I don't know anything about her now :where she is, if she's married, has kids etc but I prayed for her family. I prayed that she would have peace with the decision she made 28 1/2 years ago and know that I have a family that loves me. I am not sure if God lead me there because I'm a mom now and I can have a small inkling of what it must have been like to make the decision to give up my baby or if it was just time but I am glad that He did. I don't think I have ever really been resentful or mad at my birth-mom. I have just been complacent. I was a lot more curious when I was younger but  we asked for more medical history when I was in high school and were turned down I lost interest. I have thought off and on about trying to find her in the past several years but never had enough desire to follow through. I'm not sure if this is leading anywhere but it definitely softened my heart in ways I didn't know it needed to be. I'm cautiously excited to see where God is taking me now.

All in all in was an interesting, fun and memorable first Mother's Day!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mom's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is. I mailed her package yesterday but she won't get it for a few days when she gets to Austin.

I am appreciating my mom and our relationship more and more the older I get. We talk not just because we have to, but because we want to. I enjoy spending time with her and I love to see her with my little girl. Mom always made our birthday's special when we were growing up and I like to try to do that for her now.

Happy Birthday Momma - Can't wait to see you again!

Update

Just a quick update...

Addie is 5 months old and recently rolled from her back to her tummy (neither Josh or I have seen it yet though). She is talking up a storm and has such a sweet disposition. I constantly get compliments on what a well tempered baby she is - I don't think that has anything to do with me though. I am loving all the new things that she is learning. She brings so much joy to Josh and I.

2 weeks ago Addison and I flew to see my mom, step-dad and sister in Las Cruces. This is the first time that Aletheia (Ant Goober) had met Addie. We also got to spend some time with Aletheia's boyfriend Ryan. It was a great trip. I hadn't seen my sister in almost a year and that is way to long. Now I just have one more brother who needs to meet Addison - hopefully that can happen in May.

Here are a bunch of pictures. Enjoy!

                                                Josh's shirt says "dads against daughters dating"

                                            Shopping with the girls

                                                    Napping with Grampy

        

Drinking Grammy's Starbucks

                                                           Playing with Sandy

                                                   Meeting Grandmama (my mom's mom)

                                                             4 Generations on my side

This weekend Josh's mom (Gigi) is here for a quick visit while Gramps is umpiring baseball tournaments. 
We will have pictures of that soon!

M- Moms

I haven't done another alphabet post in awhile so I thought that I should.

M is for Mom.

This is kind of a two-fold post. The first part is about my mom. I love her! I have always loved her but we DID NOT get along when I was in high school. I was stubborn and rude. Mom had to be right and is just as stubborn as I am. It would be an understatement to say it high school was a very tumultuous time. But, even through all of the arguments and frustrations I looked up to my mom and her dedication to my siblings and I and helping other people. I am a lot like her - I got a degree in social work like her, I have a sense of adventure and fearlessness like her, I like sewing and cooking like her etc. etc. etc. My mom and I struggled again in our relationship after my parents divorced while I was in college. It took me awhile to be able to forgive and look beyond myself and see things from my parent's perspective.

Now we have the type of relationship that is honest and open. I can say just about anything to my mom. I also know that she will always be there for me. When I had my first miscarriage I called her in the middle of the night and she left the next morning to drive to Denver to be with me. Recently my mom came to spend a week with me while Josh was in St. Louis at a conference. She is just in love with Addison and had a great week taking care of her even though she was sick.



The second part of M for Mom is about me now being a mom. In some ways this adventure was been way, way harder than I thought. But it is also much more wonderful than I could have imagined. I love watching Addison while she sleeps, feeling her little hands touch me while she eats, seeing her learn new things, getting her dressed, giving her baths, singing to her, praying with and for her, day dreaming about when she gets older and so many other things. I am excited to braid her hair, talk to her about boys, pick out a prom dress, have mom and daughter days, go on vacations and just be not only her mom, but hopefully her friend also. This is such an exciting time! Right before she was born someone told me that no matter what, I am the perfect mom for her- not a perfect mom, but the mom that God had in store for Addie. I have already been blessed by being a mom to Addison and I know I will continue to be blessed each day.

G - Grandparents

Addison is blessed to have three sets of wonderful grandparents and a Great-Grandmother who love her very much.

Everyone was able to come see her after she was born and we constantly get requests for updates, pictures etc. Josh and I think it is so fun to see our parents go completely nuts over this little girl. I have no doubt that she will be spoiled so my job changes to keeping her from getting too spoiled or bratty.

I have great memories of my grandparents growing up, but my family wasn't particularly close to them. I am so thankful that Addie will have grandparents who want to be involved in her life, will support her, love her and be there for her.

Birthday, Thanksgiving, the start of Christmas decorations

My birthday 28th and Addie's 2 month birthday were on November 23. The night before my birthday Josh took me out to dinner. He asked a friend who is a restaurant reviewer to suggest some cool places to go for my birthday.We were planning to try a little hole in the wall authentic Italian restaurant but it turned out to be closed on Sundays. So, instead we went to Cheesecake Factory - one of my favorites and where we went the night we got engaged.

For my birthday present Josh (and I guess Addie) gave me a beautiful ring from James Avery. It is a heart that symbolizes a mother's love. It was a wonderful present.


On my actual birthday we went to breakfast (something I love to do) before going to the doctor for Addison's two month check up. She had to get some shots but she was a very brave girl and only cried for a few minutes. I think Josh hated it more than any of us. He hates needles so he hated it even more to see his little girl get them. He decided he was proud that he got through it without yelling at or punching any nurses.

Later that afternoon I got some flowers from my friend Melanie. It was a flower cupcake - very clever. Some other highlights were new running shoes from Josh's parents (more motivation to keep getting in shape), a perfume and necklace that says "Hope" (Addie's middle name) from my dad and step mom. I celebrated my birthday with my mom when I was in Oregon so that was a lot of fun to. She gave me a new yoga mat (more things to help get back in shape).



I went to work Tuesday and Wednesday. It was good to start back on a short week. Addie came with me Tuesday and stayed home with Josh on Wednesday. She will start going to Ms. Connie's house tomorrow.

My brother and sister-in-law were here for Thanksgiving. We had a great time - relaxed, played games (Banana Grams and Balderdash) and watched A Christmas Carole. Krista and I got up to go shopping on black Friday and got some amazing deals.





Today I began to decorate for Christmas - this is what I have so far.....


Tonight we will be going to the Pottberg/Thompson house to see friends of mine (a lot like a second family sometimes).

So - things are good.

B - Brothers

I have two brothers, Jae and Sean and Josh has one brother, Jared. Today I am thankful for our brothers.

My brothers are both super tall (one is 6'5" and one is 6'6") and blond. We look nothing alike which makes sense because I'm adopted. They are both unique in their own weird and wacky ways but I love them. Sean and I were close growing up but don't get to talk much now. He and his wife Ashley live in Tennessee where Sean is in grad school at Harding. He is very smart and into philosophy, religious studies and history. Sean was always his own person and we had a special bond. Jae and I didn't really like each other growing up but are close now. He works for ACU and will be here for Thanksgiving with his wife Krista. He has been blessed with an ability to make friends easily and help people feel included. He loves working with college students and international students. I could write for a long time about both of these guys and what makes them special but I am trying to keep it short. I have great memories with them as kids and adults and I'm excited to see how our relationships change as we get older.

Josh's brother Jared is the same age as me. After Josh and I got engaged (Josh was no longer at ACU) Jared came up to me in the campus center and said something like "Hey, you're gonna be my sister. Cool". Jared and his wife Lauren live in San Antonio and I cannot wait to see them for Christmas. I always laugh so much whenever Jared and Josh get together.


Jared and Lauren


Sean and Ashley


Jae and Krista

Oregon

Last Thursday Addie and I boarded an airplane headed to Portland, Oregon. My mom and step dad live full time in their RV and they were in Oregon. They flew Addie and I out there to spend about 5 days with them.

I was nervous about the plane rides since Addison had been really fussy the week before but she did great! Almost no crying either time. I nursed her or gave her the pacifier on take off and landing and she slept most of the flight. Even though we flew into Portland we were actually staying about 3 hours away on the coast near a town called Newport. I had never been to the west coast other than San Diego. It was amazing - an ocean with huge rock cliffs right next to a dense rain forest. It was pretty cold so we didn't spend a lot of time on the beach but we did take several walks. The last few days we were there the winds were really strong and the ocean was had giant waves and was almost totally white.

We were able to visit several small towns along the Oregon coast. In one of the places we spent some time on the bay front that had lots of great shops. We ate clam chowder at a little whole in the wall restaurant that was amazing. We saw sea lions lounging on the docks and watched fishing boats bring in baskets of freshly caught crab. We toured a winery and I bought two bottles of local wine that are amazing!

Addie was a trooper and was carried in her sling most of the places we went. She loved all the cuddles and attention from Mom, Larry and even their dog Sandy. I loved time with my mom - she made me some of my favorite meals, we played cards and she helped me sew a skirt.

We also celebrated our Christmas while there. One of the things we gave Mom and Larry a web cam so they can get on Skype and see Addie. Grammy made Addie a beautiful warm sweater and she is working on a red knitted jumpsuit that wasn't quite done yet. I got some beautiful jade jewelry that Mom bought in Canada this summer at Jade City - 80% of the world's jade comes from here. I didn't get to open Josh's presents so we brought them home to him.

It was a great trip but it makes me sad that Addison won't remember any of it. It is neat that my parents are so flexible and live in so many cool places that I can go visit to see them. One another side note, my brother has an interview at a school near Portland after Thanksgiving. If he gets the job it would definitely be a place I would love to keep visiting.

Enjoy the pictures.


The airport before we left - Josh was able to walk us to the gate and hang out for a few minutes.


Ships in the bay in Newport


Devil's Punch Bowl - the water was swirling so fast!




This is drift wood in a creek at the camp ground. It used to be on the beach and the week before we were there a storm moved it all the way up to this bridge.


sea lion in Newport


Mom, Addie and I in front of crab pots that fisherman use


We made a sign for Addie to hold and texted Josh a picture. He reallllly missed Addie (he missed me too). It was hard for us to talk to Josh regularly because of bad cell coverage.


Sandy, mom's dog, loved Addie. She would bark at us if we didn't get up right away when she was crying.


saying goodbye at the airport in Portland

Pop and Memaw

My dad and stepmom drove in from Lubbock this weekend to meet Addison. They have been so excited about her arrival and were thrilled to finally hold her. One of things they have done that I thought was special was that while I was pregnant they started writing letters to her and I put them all in a binder for her.

Addie is sleeping a little better now which makes me happier. Josh and I have been trying to get into our own routine and schedule. I get us and feed her at night and then Josh takes her downstairs about 6am so I can get a few uninterrupted hours of sleep. I love that time - not just because I am resting but also because Josh is getting some special one on one time with Addie. He calls it Addie/Daddy time. He posted about it this morning on his blog, too. http://theblogofjoshjones.blogspot.com/

Here's a few pictures from our weekend:

Gramps and Gigi

My mom and stepdad left the morning of the 2nd. Josh's mom, dad and grandmother got her that afternoon. Gramps and Addie's Great-Grandmother stayed through the weekend and left on Monday morning. Josh's mom was able to stay with us all of last week. Grandmother and Gigi loved to just sit and hold and look at Addie. Gramps had a little more fun with her and decided to see if she could fit in his size 14 shoe - she could. Grandmother also makes a "famous" chocolate pie. We convinced her to make one while she was here. Gramps also thought that Addie needed to have her first taste of his mom's pie. We were able to take several 4 generation pictures. not many people are able to do that and it is really special that we will have that. Josh also gave Addison a bath by himself while I was at the gym and he even did her hair!

It was wonderful having Sue, Josh's mom, stay for the week. We didn't do a whole lot but enjoyed just hanging out together. Addison got some one on one snuggle time with her Gigi every morning while her mom and dad got a few hours of sleep. We also went to her first doctor's appointment for the 2 week check up. She was up to 6 lbs and 13 ozs - only 2oz short of birth weight. She was also about an inch longer. We are still having to wake her up every three hours and offer her a bottle of extra milk. Hopefully we will be able to stop at least one of those things this week after another check up.

Josh and I are now officially on our own - at least for 5 days until my dad and Pam get here for a weekend. I'm nervous (Josh is too) but I also know that we can learn and that God can give us what we need to be able to be good parents for Addie. I read in a book something like we are the only parents she will ever have and we are the perfect parents for our baby. That makes me feel good - God gave us this little girl and while we aren't perfect, we love her and each other.

Enjoy the pictures. The picture of the brooms is Josh's excitement for the week - he read that there is a weird gravitational thing going on right now and he had fun making the brooms stand up on their own.