Mother's Day and a Special Prayer

My sweet baby and I in our rocking chair on my first Mother's Day!
We went to Cheesecake Factory after church and it was worth the wait. I love that place and we had a great lunch and a delicious dessert to take home for later. The  weekend was pretty relaxed overall - Josh's mom (Gigi) was here so that was an extra treat as well. It was cool to be able to spend my first Mother's Day with my husband's mom. They are really close and she (I think) is a big part of the reason he is the wonderful man that he is.

So, I have you the basics about what we did on Sunday here's what was actually going through my head over the weekend....

I was feeling incredibly blessed to be a mom and to have Addison. Josh and I have gone through a lot to get to this place and it was really special. I know that Mother's Day is about thanking and honoring moms but I'm not sure I deserved much honoring this year. In some respects I feel like I've done a lot, but I know that in the grand scheme of motherhood I've done almost nothing. I was also feeling a little overwhelmed because this new mommy stuff is hard and generally pretty thankless. But really, it's not about thanks - it's about how much I love her and how I want the best for her, a commitment to raising my child to know Christ, and the reward of seeing her grow and learn. I am still learning what it means to be a mother and a mommy. I love that I have a precious brown haired, hazel eyed, sweet and playful baby that I get to learn with.

The other interesting thing about the day happened later. I was going on a walk and was praying on my walk. I was praying and thanking God for my mom and the tremendous ways our relationship has grown, my sister and some of the things that I want for her - including a better relationship with mom, Addie and all the excitement I have for our future etc. Then, I started to pray for my birth-mom. I stopped because I was kind of shocked that I even started going there - it wasn't bad, I just honestly don't remember ever praying for her before.
I kept walking and ever so carefully began to pray again. I felt like I was stepping out onto a surface that I wasn't sure would hold me. But, once I started talking I couldn't stop. I prayed for her to know God  in an intimate, loving and powerful way. I prayed for her health.  I prayed for her family - I don't know anything about her now :where she is, if she's married, has kids etc but I prayed for her family. I prayed that she would have peace with the decision she made 28 1/2 years ago and know that I have a family that loves me. I am not sure if God lead me there because I'm a mom now and I can have a small inkling of what it must have been like to make the decision to give up my baby or if it was just time but I am glad that He did. I don't think I have ever really been resentful or mad at my birth-mom. I have just been complacent. I was a lot more curious when I was younger but  we asked for more medical history when I was in high school and were turned down I lost interest. I have thought off and on about trying to find her in the past several years but never had enough desire to follow through. I'm not sure if this is leading anywhere but it definitely softened my heart in ways I didn't know it needed to be. I'm cautiously excited to see where God is taking me now.

All in all in was an interesting, fun and memorable first Mother's Day!

P-Pictures

I have been putting off doing this post because I had a great idea. I really wanted to scan some of my favorite pictures from various times in my life and share them. But, that obviously didn't happen. I know where the pictures are but never could find the time to go through and pull them out the ones I wanted, then I would have to go use someone's scanner etc. It just seemed like a lot of work for one blog post.

The purpose of this alphabet that I have been doing off and on (and maybe will eventually finish) is not just things that I like, but things that I am thankful for. I have always loved pictures. I am so thankful that I am able to look back at other times in my life -  my baby pictures, family portraits, being silly with my siblings, my pooh bear, my pets, grade school friends,family vacations, Christmases, youth group times, camps and retreats, Africa, wonderful college memories, pictures when Josh and I were dating or engaged, wedding pictures, pregnancy pictures and now pictures with Addison. I am thankful for all of those experiences and thankful that I am able to continually look at at them and enjoy the memories. I am also thankful for all the new pictures and memories I will have in the future.

So, you don't get to see some of my favorite old pictures - maybe I will find some time someday because I really would like to post some- but, I will share some recent pictures of Addie (which you are all probably more interested in anyway).

*Daddy got her this shirt on one of his trips.

*She only stayed standing like for about about 3 seconds....

Irritation

Just needed to share an irritating situation. If you don't like reading about breastfeeding or pumping - stop reading now.

So, I was actually given a pump before Addie was born and it worked great until 2 weeks ago when all of a sudden the motor slowed down drastically and it lost suction. So, I was faced with having to buy a new one since she is only 5 months old. I wanted to buy the same kind I had but didn't want to spend the money (my old one wasn't under warranty anymore). So, I had read some good reviews about a miPump by First Years and it was only about $90 for a double electric so I decided to buy it. Another draw was that I could get it right away instead of ordering and waiting. There are some good points about it but....

I am now thinking this was a bad decision and I am frustrated. It works ok but it is a little more painful than the old one and I'm already having problems. Twice in the last week the milk has backed up into the tubing and the pump itself. I NEVER had this problem with my old Lansinoh pump. It also takes longer to get less milk. I don't want go buy the replacement I should have gotten a few weeks ago because that is spending another hundred dollars or so (at least) that I don't really just have lying around. Plus, even though Addison is almost 6 months old I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to keep pumping/breastfeeding etc. How long does this typically last? She is eating cereal usually twice a day. I want to pump because I don't want to lose my milk supply (that has already dipped lately) because she is still taking bottles but in all honesty I have no idea what to do.

Just needed to vent. Any advice regarding pumps, how long to breastfeed, cereal feeding, etc is appreciated.

Update

Just a quick update...

Addie is 5 months old and recently rolled from her back to her tummy (neither Josh or I have seen it yet though). She is talking up a storm and has such a sweet disposition. I constantly get compliments on what a well tempered baby she is - I don't think that has anything to do with me though. I am loving all the new things that she is learning. She brings so much joy to Josh and I.

2 weeks ago Addison and I flew to see my mom, step-dad and sister in Las Cruces. This is the first time that Aletheia (Ant Goober) had met Addie. We also got to spend some time with Aletheia's boyfriend Ryan. It was a great trip. I hadn't seen my sister in almost a year and that is way to long. Now I just have one more brother who needs to meet Addison - hopefully that can happen in May.

Here are a bunch of pictures. Enjoy!

                                                Josh's shirt says "dads against daughters dating"

                                            Shopping with the girls

                                                    Napping with Grampy

        

Drinking Grammy's Starbucks

                                                           Playing with Sandy

                                                   Meeting Grandmama (my mom's mom)

                                                             4 Generations on my side

This weekend Josh's mom (Gigi) is here for a quick visit while Gramps is umpiring baseball tournaments. 
We will have pictures of that soon!

2 Years

I was on the Winter Peak (Colorado Area-wide retreat) with Josh this weekend. It was a great weekend and I will try to write more about that later.

This is the retreat the 2 years ago (yesterday actually) Josh and my friend Melanie had to leave because I was in the hospital after about to have emergency surgery after finding out we lost another baby - this time due to an ectopic pregnancy. The past two years have been full of peaks and valleys - some of those valleys being in very dark places. But, this year I was at the retreat with a sweet, beautiful baby girl. Wow! God truly is faithful. During the weekend I had several things running though my head - a song and then a psalm.

"Well, everyone needs compassion

A love that's never failing, let mercy fall on me

Well, everyone needs forgiveness

The kindness of a Savior, the hope of nations

Savior, He can move the mountains

For my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save

Forever, author of Salvation

Where He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me

All my fears and failures, fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in, and now I surrender, I surrender

Savior, He can move the mountains

My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save

Forever, author of Salvation

He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave"

****************************************************

"How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,

for he has been good to me." Psalm 13

4 Months Already?

By now it's almost 4 1/2 and I still can't believe Addie is that old. It feels like I have had her longer than that but I am amazed at how much she has grown in such a short time.

Some of the things Addison is doing now:
-occasionally rolling from her stomach to her back
-laughing and actually making noise when she does
-staying awake longer
-take naps about the same time every day
-sleeping about 6 hours at the beginning of the night and then 3 or 4 after that
-recognizing our voices - or at least reacting more
-smiling when she sees Josh and I, especially right when she wakes up
-losing more and more hair (this makes me sad)
-wearing mostly 3-6 month clothes (some are still too big)
-she LOVES her bouncer and anything that lights up
-sleeping in her crib and sometimes falling asleep there on her own at night

Last Sunday night I was feeding her and looked down and was just totally overcome with how much I love this little girl. I am so excited that I will get to know her more and more. I am curious about what things she will like, what her voice will sound like, what her personality will be etc. I also don't want to be too anxious and miss this stage. She is just such a blessing to Josh and I.

Life lately

This is what life the past few days has consisted of:

POOP - Tuesday and Wednesday were full of poop explosions. On Tuesday Addison went through 4 outfits while Josh and I were at work. Then, Wednesday morning I was feeding her in bed and all of a sudden it was all over me and her. Josh was covered when he picked her up to go change her. We had to wash sheets, mattress cover, blankets, clothes, etc. Awesome
BUT I can deal with poop, spit up and anything else since that's the stuff that comes with finally being a mom.

GRAD SCHOOL- I went to a meeting on Tuesday with a grad school advisor. I am looking at a Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy program that would mean classes every other weekend and some stuff on line in between. It's a decent price, good schedule and I could be done in a year. However, I'm still on the fence and I think Josh is even more uncertain then I am. I really want to be able to do this and eventually go into private practice to work with kids and families. I also don't want to completely overwhelm myself. I've been really struggling to weigh the pros and cons. I think that if I don't do it now then it may be a long while before I am able to again.
BUT I trust that God has a plan and has given me this passion for social work to help accomplish that plan. We will see where it goes I guess.

MONEY- We have been dealing with some finance and tax issues the last few weeks. Apparently minister's taxes are really hard to do correctly and (once again) Josh's salary was messed up which is now messing up taxes and finances for 2010. I won't bore you with the details. I can honestly say that money problems stress me out possibly more than anything else - especially when, in this situation, there isn't much I can do about it. I had thought we were on a really good track until this new development came to light.
BUT, I know that, as in all things, God will provide. I don't need to have my weekly Starbucks or eat out with a friend once a month. I don't want money to diminish my joy or cause stress.

FAMILY - My sister has still not been able to meet her niece. This frustrated me because Aletheia and I are so close. There are a lot of reasons why this hasn't happen. I had been working on planning a trip to Las Cruces when my mom will be there to so I can finally see Aletheia but it may not work out. I miss my family and being apart is hard.
BUT, whether it happens now or not, I know she will meet Addie eventually. I also know that even though we are far away from all of our family we are loved and prayed for daily.

and last but not least - CLUTTER - My house is ridiculously cluttered, my brain is cluttered, my desk at work is cluttered, my car is cluttered. I have yet to get a handle on keeping things relatively organized while still sleeping, showering, working, cooking, going to the gym and taking care of Addison. There is a lot of my plate and there are things that I can put to the side but it's hard. I feel like many times my environment is a reflection of how I'm feeling - if my house is a mess it stresses me out, when things are clean (clean not spotless and perfect - that may never happen)I feel better. I won't give up working out unless absolutely necessary - it keeps me sane. I shouldn't give up showering, cooking or working. I can't give up taking care of Addie (and wouldn't want to). So, it seems that organization may be what has to go.
BUT I can try my best to be ok with that. Josh is a great helper and really, in the long run it's about people anyway. There is a page from a magazine on my fridge that I found at Christmas time - it says "Make the holidays about being with your baby, not about getting stuff done;" It's after the holidays but I've kept it up there as a reminder of priorities.

More updates and hopefully pictures soon.

M- Moms

I haven't done another alphabet post in awhile so I thought that I should.

M is for Mom.

This is kind of a two-fold post. The first part is about my mom. I love her! I have always loved her but we DID NOT get along when I was in high school. I was stubborn and rude. Mom had to be right and is just as stubborn as I am. It would be an understatement to say it high school was a very tumultuous time. But, even through all of the arguments and frustrations I looked up to my mom and her dedication to my siblings and I and helping other people. I am a lot like her - I got a degree in social work like her, I have a sense of adventure and fearlessness like her, I like sewing and cooking like her etc. etc. etc. My mom and I struggled again in our relationship after my parents divorced while I was in college. It took me awhile to be able to forgive and look beyond myself and see things from my parent's perspective.

Now we have the type of relationship that is honest and open. I can say just about anything to my mom. I also know that she will always be there for me. When I had my first miscarriage I called her in the middle of the night and she left the next morning to drive to Denver to be with me. Recently my mom came to spend a week with me while Josh was in St. Louis at a conference. She is just in love with Addison and had a great week taking care of her even though she was sick.



The second part of M for Mom is about me now being a mom. In some ways this adventure was been way, way harder than I thought. But it is also much more wonderful than I could have imagined. I love watching Addison while she sleeps, feeling her little hands touch me while she eats, seeing her learn new things, getting her dressed, giving her baths, singing to her, praying with and for her, day dreaming about when she gets older and so many other things. I am excited to braid her hair, talk to her about boys, pick out a prom dress, have mom and daughter days, go on vacations and just be not only her mom, but hopefully her friend also. This is such an exciting time! Right before she was born someone told me that no matter what, I am the perfect mom for her- not a perfect mom, but the mom that God had in store for Addie. I have already been blessed by being a mom to Addison and I know I will continue to be blessed each day.

Addie update

This week Josh is in St. Louis at the National Conference on Youth Ministry. So, since he was going to be gone he suggested to my mom that she come hang out with me for the week and watch Addie while I am at work. Josh and I were able to go out for a belated Anniversary date (6 years!) on Saturday after Mom's flight got in. We also saw Avatar which I liked except that it seemed to go on forever.

Anyway, last night Addie started not feeling well. Her eyes are red and puffy and her poor little nose is stuffed up. I gave her some medicine that seemed to help last night so unless she gets a fever I'll see how she does without going to the doctor.

She turned 3 months on December 23. I took a cute picture but now can't find where it uploaded to. She is becoming more and more engaged. She loves the two toys on her car seat - Beatrice the Butterfly and Terry the Lion (his name is Terry because he shakes so we thought he had turrets). She stares at them and likes to swat them to make the rattles move. She also loves her play mat. She will lay on her back with one hand on each animal until she falls asleep or gets cranky. Addie loves to stand up and bounce. I need to get her a exersaucer or something. One of her favorite things is when her Daddy moves her legs like she is running. I know she will miss early morning Daddy/Addie time this week. Josh and I can't believe how much she is learning and growing. Everyone said it goes by fast - they weren't kidding!

One of my favorite times lately has been when Josh and I lay her on our bed in the morning while we get ready. It takes us forever because we keep stopping to snuggle and play. This sweet family time makes my heart happy!

I will do a Christmas post soon and keep everyone who may still be reading updated.

A few pictures just because....

Birthday, Thanksgiving, the start of Christmas decorations

My birthday 28th and Addie's 2 month birthday were on November 23. The night before my birthday Josh took me out to dinner. He asked a friend who is a restaurant reviewer to suggest some cool places to go for my birthday.We were planning to try a little hole in the wall authentic Italian restaurant but it turned out to be closed on Sundays. So, instead we went to Cheesecake Factory - one of my favorites and where we went the night we got engaged.

For my birthday present Josh (and I guess Addie) gave me a beautiful ring from James Avery. It is a heart that symbolizes a mother's love. It was a wonderful present.


On my actual birthday we went to breakfast (something I love to do) before going to the doctor for Addison's two month check up. She had to get some shots but she was a very brave girl and only cried for a few minutes. I think Josh hated it more than any of us. He hates needles so he hated it even more to see his little girl get them. He decided he was proud that he got through it without yelling at or punching any nurses.

Later that afternoon I got some flowers from my friend Melanie. It was a flower cupcake - very clever. Some other highlights were new running shoes from Josh's parents (more motivation to keep getting in shape), a perfume and necklace that says "Hope" (Addie's middle name) from my dad and step mom. I celebrated my birthday with my mom when I was in Oregon so that was a lot of fun to. She gave me a new yoga mat (more things to help get back in shape).



I went to work Tuesday and Wednesday. It was good to start back on a short week. Addie came with me Tuesday and stayed home with Josh on Wednesday. She will start going to Ms. Connie's house tomorrow.

My brother and sister-in-law were here for Thanksgiving. We had a great time - relaxed, played games (Banana Grams and Balderdash) and watched A Christmas Carole. Krista and I got up to go shopping on black Friday and got some amazing deals.





Today I began to decorate for Christmas - this is what I have so far.....


Tonight we will be going to the Pottberg/Thompson house to see friends of mine (a lot like a second family sometimes).

So - things are good.

Thankfulnes Project - A

I love the holidays, including Thanksgiving. But, I want it to be more than just turkey, football and pie so I am writing about things I am thankful for. I was originally just going to write about one thing each week. Instead I decided to write about one thing for each letter of the alphabet and try to finish by the end of the year. I am sure there will be intermittent posts about things going on with us etc.

Since A is the first letter in the alphabet and is also conveniently the first letter of my daughter's name I think that is a great place to start.

Addison Hope Jones - I am so incredibly thankful for her. I am thankful for her sweet smile, her beautiful eyes, silky hair, and sweet hands. I am even thankful for her crying and poopy diapers. Josh and I have wanted a baby for so long and she was worth the wait. I look at her and sometimes get so overwhelmed with love it makes me want to cry. I am thankful that I will get to be her mom, help her learn and grow, watch her become her own person and a person who loves God, pray with and for her, laugh together and so many other things.
Yes, I am definitely thankful for Addison.

Oregon

Last Thursday Addie and I boarded an airplane headed to Portland, Oregon. My mom and step dad live full time in their RV and they were in Oregon. They flew Addie and I out there to spend about 5 days with them.

I was nervous about the plane rides since Addison had been really fussy the week before but she did great! Almost no crying either time. I nursed her or gave her the pacifier on take off and landing and she slept most of the flight. Even though we flew into Portland we were actually staying about 3 hours away on the coast near a town called Newport. I had never been to the west coast other than San Diego. It was amazing - an ocean with huge rock cliffs right next to a dense rain forest. It was pretty cold so we didn't spend a lot of time on the beach but we did take several walks. The last few days we were there the winds were really strong and the ocean was had giant waves and was almost totally white.

We were able to visit several small towns along the Oregon coast. In one of the places we spent some time on the bay front that had lots of great shops. We ate clam chowder at a little whole in the wall restaurant that was amazing. We saw sea lions lounging on the docks and watched fishing boats bring in baskets of freshly caught crab. We toured a winery and I bought two bottles of local wine that are amazing!

Addie was a trooper and was carried in her sling most of the places we went. She loved all the cuddles and attention from Mom, Larry and even their dog Sandy. I loved time with my mom - she made me some of my favorite meals, we played cards and she helped me sew a skirt.

We also celebrated our Christmas while there. One of the things we gave Mom and Larry a web cam so they can get on Skype and see Addie. Grammy made Addie a beautiful warm sweater and she is working on a red knitted jumpsuit that wasn't quite done yet. I got some beautiful jade jewelry that Mom bought in Canada this summer at Jade City - 80% of the world's jade comes from here. I didn't get to open Josh's presents so we brought them home to him.

It was a great trip but it makes me sad that Addison won't remember any of it. It is neat that my parents are so flexible and live in so many cool places that I can go visit to see them. One another side note, my brother has an interview at a school near Portland after Thanksgiving. If he gets the job it would definitely be a place I would love to keep visiting.

Enjoy the pictures.


The airport before we left - Josh was able to walk us to the gate and hang out for a few minutes.


Ships in the bay in Newport


Devil's Punch Bowl - the water was swirling so fast!




This is drift wood in a creek at the camp ground. It used to be on the beach and the week before we were there a storm moved it all the way up to this bridge.


sea lion in Newport


Mom, Addie and I in front of crab pots that fisherman use


We made a sign for Addie to hold and texted Josh a picture. He reallllly missed Addie (he missed me too). It was hard for us to talk to Josh regularly because of bad cell coverage.


Sandy, mom's dog, loved Addie. She would bark at us if we didn't get up right away when she was crying.


saying goodbye at the airport in Portland

Addie's first retreat, fussiness, books and other news

Addie went on her first youth group retreat this past weekend. She did pretty well - I was surprised. Everyone loved her (duh) and she was never lacking in attention. It was kinda funny that when I asked some of the kids if they wanted to hold her they were reluctant and really nervous.

The theme was Glory and we talked about living in God's glory, living for God's glory and reflecting God's glory. It was a little different that the retreats Josh usually plans. God worked powerfully during the weekend. Going on retreats with Josh also always make me think about my own youth group retreats growing up. I love those memories and pray that these kids will be blessed through retreat times like I was.

Once we got home however, Addie has turned into a little bit of a devil child. She started the few days before we left being very fussy. It pretty much stopped over the weekend and now it's worse than ever. I took her to the doctor because I honestly didn't know what else to do. Her cry sounded like a hurt cry, she was not sleeping longer than an hour at time and she wasn't eating as well. The doctor (not our regular one) made Josh and I feel pretty dumb and just said it is normal fussiness. I know all babies get fussy but these seemed different for Addie. Anyway, I guess it is the regular stuff that can set in about 6-8 weeks. Ironically I got a book that I ordered in the mail yesterday - Your Fussy Baby and Healthy Sleep Habits;Happy Child both by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I started reading the Fussy Baby book today and the first page says this "If you have already delivered your baby and are exhausted, worried or both turn immediately to chapter 7 for a quick background summary and plan of action". I love that. How realistic of Dr. Weissbluth. I don't have time to sit and read two whole books - I don't even have time to take a shower some days. Anyway, I read chapter 7 and while I have realized I am not a fan of parenting books (they stress me out), I love this book already. It is concise, gives options and is not a "my way or the highway" book. It also is encouraging to us as parents, advocates for fathers being involved etc. I'll let you know more as I try to go back and read the rest of the book at some point. I haven't started on the Healthy Sleep Habits yet but it to has a Crash Course chapter.

Addie and I leave Thursday morning to fly to Portland, Oregon for a few days to see her Grammy and Grampy. They are actually staying near Newport Oregon on the coast so once we get to Portland we have about a two hour drive. I'm nervous about how Addie will do but I'm also excited for the trip. I get to go shopping for my upcoming birthday, see the coast (never been to the Northwestern coast), maybe see whales, eat yummy food and spend time with family. So, as long as we don't get kicked off the plane for a crying baby things will be fine. Josh is sad that we are leaving (I'm sad to be leaving him). But, I am a little jealous that he will get 5 nights of uninterrupted sleep.

I am sure I will have lots of pictures and stories when we get back. Pray for patience for me, calmness and peace for Addison and a safe trip.

If I had time to blog...

*I would write about how even a rash on my little girl and a small fever make me so sad that I can't make her feel better.

*I would write about how now that Halloween is over I am ready for Christmas! I love Christmas time. I love buying present for people, wrapping presents, ornaments etc.

*I would write about how I still struggle to take a shower regularly since Addie has been born. I will have to change that when I start working again.

*I would write about being excited for the youth group retreat this weekend but also a little worried about how Addie will do.

*I would write about how frustrating it is that my maternity clothes are to big but most of my regular pants are still to small.

*I would write about my mixed feelings about going back to work in a few weeks.

*I would write about going to visit my friend Melanie in Wyoming a few weeks ago.

*I would write about how I will never again take sleep for granted.

If only I had time....

(Hopefully some of these may actually get written over the next few weeks. We'll see)

Snow Storm and IHOP Adventure

Tuesday night it started snowing and didn't stop for about 48 hours. We ended up with almost 2 feet of snow! This is apparently the biggest October snow storm in about ten years. Josh had to go to work just for an hour or so on Wednesday. We were supposed to have the fall festival that night at church but he decided to reschedule for Saturday. Once he got home we were in the house, ready to bundle up and wait out the storm. Addie and I made peanut butter cookies for her dad and I made muffins. I love baking, especially when it's cold out. We had homemade french dip sandwiches for dinner and enjoyed the time hanging out together.

Yesterday we decided to venture out to run a few short errands. Addie was bundled up warm so we decided to take a picture of her in the snow - she slept through the whole thing.

Now on to todays adventure. I have written before about how Josh and I have weekly breakfast dates. We are trying to keep this tradition up even with the new addition to the family. So, this morning after we were up and Addie ate breakfast we got ready to go. I figured that we had about 2 hours to eat and get home before she would need to eat again. I was wrong. This happened to be a morning when she decided she was going to be hungry every 2 hours instead of the usual three. And, since I am such a prepared mother, I forgot the extra bottle at home. So, we are at IHOP and I have just ordered pumpkin pancakes that I am super excited about eating and Ms. Addison wakes us and decides to cry. After about 15 minutes of off and on crying I decided I have to try to nurse her. This is really the first time that I have had to do this in a public place other than in my car on the way home from Wyoming.

Luckily I have a blanket and we are sitting in a corner booth. The hardest part of this for me is not being able to see her. That can lead to problems that frustrate us both including making a huge mess. It was relatively successful but I stressed out more than I would like to admit. I guess this is good practice since in two weeks I will be traveling with her by mself to fly to Oregon to see my mom. I'm not super modest and don't have a problem nursing in public as long as I am somewhat covered but I still don't have the coordination down.

Ok, well, Addie is awake and hungry again so I will just leave you with a few pictures.