Retreat Update

The retreat went very well. I'm not really in a "blogging" mood right now so you will have to get highlights later.

In other news:
- The Longhorns are now 5-0
- The Red Sox beat the Angels 3-1 and move on the play Tampa Bay in the AL Championship
- We have our first chance for snow in Denver later this week (only a small chance)
- I now have about 50% of my Christmas shopping done. WooHoo!
- Sweetest Day (a holiday to remember not only the sick, aged and orphaned, but also friends, relatives and associates whose helpfulness and kindness we have enjoyed) is on October 18th this year.
- My favorite candle that I have had for the past few years and only burned sparingly is finally done.
- I read a book in the past 48 hours from cover to cover.
- I will attempt to write a real blog entry later with actual pertinent information.

Random News.

This weekend I am going to a Women's Retreat with University Church. I am so excited!! I have been working on planning this retreat for about 6 months and I am anxious to see how it will come together. My mom is even going to get to come since she and Larry will be in the area. Jeanane Reese is the speaker - I had several classes with her in college and am excited to hear her speak. The theme is 2Corinthians and "Freedom".

The retreat is up in Grand Lake at Snow Mountain Ranch and it is so so beautiful up there. This facility is truly like a resort - no camp bunk beds with gross mattresses or freezing cold water. This place is huge and each room has 2 queen beds with linens and a fold out couch and a bathroom. It is great! Hopefully the weather will continue to be beautiful while we are there.

I will definitely write an update when I get back.

On another note - I have now memorized James 1 and 2 although I keep getting stuck on parts of chapter 2. I feel like I've kind of hit a wall and am having a hard time going further without forgetting the early stuff I've learned.

Robert Reagan

Robert, Danny Reese and I

Robert Reagan is a missionary in Thailand. He works with his wife Jan, who he met there, and their two children Erika (15) and Branson (12). Robert found out a little over a week ago that he has tumors on his pancreas. If this is cancerous, this type of cancer is usually fatal. There have been thousands of people all over the world who have been praying for Robert - for peace for his family and for his total and complete healing.

Robert was a young single missionary sponsored by home church of Westover Hills in Austin. When I was in the 4th grade he came into our class during a VBS one summer to talk about being a missionary. He told us that could serve God as missionaries and didn't have to wait until we were "old enough" or when we knew more. He taught us a new verse to the song Sanctuary - it went like this "O Lord prepare me, to be a missionary, to tell others, about you, and teach your spirit, to those who'll hear it, missionary for you."

Robert has been in Thailand for at least 16 years. When he would come to the United States on furlough we would often go out to lunch or meet. He asked me several times to go to Chiang Mai for a summer internship but it was never able to happen.

When asked to name people who have been influential in my life and especially in my desire to be a missionary Robert Reagan is one of the first people that comes to my mind. Please continue to pray for Robert and his family. The Lord has done mighty things through him and he has a desire to do so much more in Thailand.

The link to a group with updates from Robert on facebook is: http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=27478428628

New Update!!

After typing this I received an email that yesterday's biopsy of one of Robert's tumors at the head of the pancreas show that it is NOT cancerous. He will have surgery Thursday to remove the larger tumor near the end of the pancreas and they will then preform further tests to determine if cancer is present in those cells. This is wonderful news since now the surgery is much more minor. Continue to pray that God gives Robert many many more years in Thailand to serve and reach others. He and his family are an incredible witness to God's power, mercy, healing and love.

Charles

Today as I was driving to work I was drinking a very yummy non-fat Starbucks Mocha and mourning the fact that my gift card is almost empty. When I pulled up to a corner there was a man there with a cardboard sign that said "Can't keep a job, Just trying to get by, God Bless". I try to always keep a box of granola bars or ramen noodles in my car to hand out as needed. I rolled down my window and offered this man a granola bar. Since the light was still red I asked him what his name was and if there was anything I could pray for. He replied that his name was Charles and he had a lot to pray for. He told me that he used to go to church but when he landed on the streets he didn't feel welcome anymore. He said that he really needed prayers to keep a job, be safe and for his family (wherever they were) to be safe. As the light turned green and people behind me honked I told Charles that I would be praying for him.

As Christians, I think that even in our desire to help people around us we can become cold and judgmental. If we see someone on the street we don't want to give them money because "they will just use it to get drunk or buy drugs". While that may likely be true, who are we to say that they are not worthy of our help. Money is not our only resource to help people. We can give them food, a bottle of water, a spare blanket etc.

My mom likes to tell the story of when I was little and I would see people on the street corner - I would go home, make a sack lunch and insist that my mom take me back to where ever it was so I could drop it off. I am by no means saying that I have this service thing down or that I do it perfectly, but it is something I feel strongly about.

In my attempt to memorize James I have been working on the section in chapter two that talks about faith without works is useless. James 14-17 says this "What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. "

I hope that I can truly live that out and continue to learn how to not just have faith in God, but have my actions reflect Him as well. Keep praying for my friend Charles!

Fake Fall

I love fall and I am looking forward to writing a post about it when it actually gets here. This week in Denver has been up in the 80s and tomorrow its going to be almost 90. That certainly doesn't feel like fall. The last several years we have had our first big snow around Halloween. This year I can't see that happening. Maybe it will cool off really quickly and move from hot to freezing with snow but I would hate that.

There are things I love about all the seasons but this is one of my favorites. I love decorating with all the fun "fallish" things like wheat, pumpkins, pine cones etc. I love the smells of candles like spice, pumpkin, apple etc. I love being able to wear soft warm sweaters but not having to be so cold I can't talk when I walk outside. I love baking and cooking certain foods this time of year - pumpkin bread, apple turnovers, soups in bread bowls, fresh fall veggies, etc. One of my absolute favorite things is the trees changing colors - especially the aspens. I get to go to the mountains next weekend for a Women's Retreat and I can't wait just to take a walk and see all the beautiful trees. That is one thing that I love about Colorado that Texas just can't compete with. Hopefully Denver will actually get a fall instead of moving straight to winter - I guess we'll see.

ACU drama

Last week I was having dinner with Josh and he told me about a story he read in the Optimist on line. I honestly could not believe it. Apparently the SA President this year is black and a few weeks ago he walked into his office to find a noose lying on his chair. ACU is doing an extensive investigation and this story has been on the news nationally.
Here are a few links to the story:
http://www.reporternews.com/news/2008/Sep/08/no-suspects-named-in-acu-noose-case/
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=5759967&page=1

When Josh was telling me about this awful incident it made me feel physically ill. I don't understand how things like this still happen, much less that they are happening at a Christian College. Shouldn't we have made more progress than this? In an era where there is a giant melting pot of ethnic backgrounds, beliefs and cultures I would hope that we would be more supportive and accepting of fellow believers. I do applaud the ACU community as it has responded to this incident with outrage and a message that this will not be tolerated. I think this also serves as a reminder that as individuals, and communities we all still have a long way to go to love like Christ.

One Year

This weekend marked a year since Josh and I had our first miscarriage. It was a tough weekend to say the least - Josh is out of town at ACU's Lectureship so that didn't help either. It has been a challenging year having not only one, but 2 losses, surgeries etc. But instead of writing a sad, depression post I decided to write a list of the good things that have happened in this past year and some of the ways that God has blessed us.
- I got a new job that I (still) love.
- We spent a great Christmas in Arlington with Josh's family - the first time we have all been together since Jared and Lauren got married.
- Josh took me to see the White Christmas musical for my birthday.
- My brother Jeremy got married to a wonderful girl.
- My sister Aletheia graduated from high school and started college.
- Josh and I were able to go on several weekend trips in the mountains.
- I found out about a new missions opportunity I can get involved in.
- Josh planned his first ever "Family Retreat" at University where Bob and Jerry Strader spoke and it was wonderful.
- Because of our pregnancy struggles we (especially me) have formed some new and close relationships with others who have gone through this.
- Josh's parents came to visit us.
- The youth group was able to go to Mexico for their first ever non US mission trip.
- We bought a car.
-Several different friends and family members came to visit.
-And...we have been able to get closer to God and each other in incredible ways.

Hopefully this next year will bring even more blessings. I know we will always have struggles but it is my hope that through those we look to God and that the joys outnumber the sorrows.

Wedding Story

I decided instead of stopping at the engagement I would go ahead and tell the story of our wedding.

My mom and her husband Larry and my dad had agreed on a modest wedding budget. The semester before we got married I was taking 18 hours of classes and planning the wedding. I planned the whole thing myself and was very obsessed with doing everything as cheaply as possible. I bought my veil online for $15 since the ones at Davids Bridal were about $75. I think I enjoyed trying to be so thrifty because it also made me be more creative.

We knew that we wanted to get married on December 20, 2003. That was more out of a desire to not wait until summer rather than anything special about that date. But, I do love love love Christmas and the whole holiday season. Since it was right before Christmas the choice of flowers and decoration is somewhat limited. I decided on beautiful red dresses with white roses and holly berries for the bridesmaids. I had the dress of my dreams and red roses and holly.

Pleasant Ridge was due to start construction on a new auditorium, atrium area and classroom wing the first of the year so we had I think the last wedding in the old auditorium. There was a really neat stone wall at the front of the church so we set tons of candles up there and intertwined garland. The isles were lined with garland and lights and instead of tons of flowers in the front of the church I had candelabras with decorated Christmas wreaths.

One of the things that I will never forget about my wedding was how personal it was. It truly reflected Josh and I - who were are and our relationship. I had several people ask for a cd of the wedding music - it was not very traditional but each song had a special meaning. One of my 2 favorite things about the ceremony was the unity candle. After Josh and I prayed we had the whole wedding party come up and surround us to say a prayer. During that time my youth minister who was performing the ceremony saw my pooh bear sitting on the floor behind the candle stand (my mom put him there earlier). So when we were done praying Rick held up pooh and made a few jokes. My other favorite part of the wedding was the vows. Josh and I not only said vows but promises. We had each written 5 promises to the other and kept them a secret. We both ended up witting several of the same things but we each also added one funny thing. My promise to Josh (that I admit I don't do very well) was to always keep Dr. Pepper in the fridge. His promise to me was to always have my inhaler beside the bed when I needed it. When he said that me, my mom, Josh's mom, Josh's grandmother and all the bridesmaids started laughing. What Josh didn't know was that my inhaler was tucked down the front of my dress. I put it there more as a joke but also in case I needed it. When everyone laughed and whispered to him that it was down my dress and he turned bright red.

Some highlights from the rest of the event were: Josh's Dr. Pepper shaped, red velvet flavored grooms cake; leaving in the decorated youth group bus; toasting with Dr. Pepper instead of champagne (not to mention that we were in a Church of Christ where my husband was employed); and as we walked back down the isle to the Shrek version of I'm A Believer Josh's dad entertained everyone with his dance moves.

In a few months we will celebrate our 5 year anniversary. I know that it isn't a huge milestone but to me it is such a blessing. The time has flown by in some ways and in some ways it seems like such a long time.

My job is never dull

This past week I was on call for my agency. Not only that by some of my foster families have my cell number. So, on Sunday night after going to our small group and the gym I was in bed and planning on reading for a few minutes before falling asleep.
That did not happen.

First my cell phone rang, then the on-call phone rang. It was Ayanna. One of my the foster parents that I work with. Ayanna has been doing foster care for awhile but recently took on the new challenge of doing mutual care (pregnant teen girls). We had recently (about 4 weeks ago) gotten our frist placement, a 15 year old girl named Sarah (not her real name). Sarah has already struggled in the home and is defiant, bosy, non compliant and manipulative. She was also 8 1/2 months pregnant. Ayanna and Sarah had been to the ER 2 or 3 times before when she thought she was in labor. I had told Ayanna not to call me again unless it was real - I didn't want to speed all the way up to the hospital again for nothing.

So, when I figured out who was calling me at 10:30pm I knew that this was the real deal. I put on shoes and a sports bra, grabbed a jacket and got in my car in grey pj pants, a t-shirt and slip flops. I had to go pick up Sarah's mom since she didn't have a car and the grandmother that did wasn't answering her phone. Once I had picker Mom up, we drove to the hospital and went straight up to Sarah's birthing room.

For the next several hours her contractions got closer and closer together until it was finally time for her to push. By this point Ayanna, Sarah, Sarah's mom, grandmother, brother, brother's girlfriend and myself were all in there. It was a new experience to say the least. Sarah hadn't wanted an epidural but after an hour of pushing with no success jumped at the chance to get one. The baby was ultimately born via cesarean early Monday morning.

I never thought I would have a job where I was not only in the delivery room for 11 hours but that I was also in the room with a foster parent and the bio family. Last time we were all together in a meeting and the county human services department Sarah and her family all got pretty heated that she was in foster care etc etc. It's a tough situation and pretty complicated case but I was pleasantly surprised at how everyone came together in the hospital. Mom and Grandma were were respectful and thankful for Ayanna and Ayanna was able to be upfront with the family about some things.

So, that was my adventure Sunday and Monday. We are still uncertain as to what will happen with Sarah and her new baby girl. I really pray that she will be able to accept help, learn how to parent and retain custody of her baby. At this point, since she was not been compliant so far it is likely that she won't get many chances before she has to move to a more structured setting and her baby is put into a separate foster home. We will hope and pray for the best and see what happens.

Something I hate

I was watching a movie on tv yesterday and noticed something that made me pretty mad. Whatever movie I was watching on TNT would bleep out the word that could also mean a donkey but would leave in the name of God as a curse word. There was another word that was bleeped out that seemed a little stranger when there were several others that were not also.

This is so sad and frustrating to me. I don't understand the logic of leaving in "God Damn It" but taking out "ass" (I apologize if typing those words offends anyone - just a reminder that I am not actually using them). I also will not understand why it is ok for shows and movies to talk about everything from intimate homosexual relationships to explicit drug use but its tabboo to talk about faith, prayer or God.

Unfortunately many of the things that are discussed are an everyday part of our society and in a way we have become numb to them. But I don't want to live as though talking about my Savior and my faith is a tabboo subject. We should be just as proud, actually, so much more proud, of that as people are about the sexual choices and party lifestyle. I don't like to focus on the negative things that are going on (even though there would be plenty to think about). Instead I like to think about the positive things that are happening - there are more programs than ever now that help break the domestic violence cycle, stop substance abuse, provide services for underprivledged familes and support teen moms. I don't think society is quite all bad but there are some things that definitly make me angry and are so so backwards.