Keeping up with the Joneses

Change of Plans

2012-02-01T08:34:00.000-08:00

If you only read this to get updates on my child or stuff we are doing - sorry...this post is more about me sharing a few things that I can't get out of my head lately. However, Addison is doing well and is as cute as ever even though she is a little bit of a 2 year old terror sometimes.

So, this past weekend I was able to go to Austin, TX for the first time in I think 4 years. I consider Austin home even though I moved around a lot growing up. I love that city and I love people there. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of family there except for my aunt (and friends who can count as family). I got some really cheap plane tickets and decided it was time to take Addie since she had never met my Auntie Ann and never been to Austin. So we left Daddy at home and flex out last Wednesday night for 4 days. We had a great trip - I introduced her to Amy's ice cream and the cows, we hung out with some very dear friends and on Sunday we got to go to Westover for the last day of Stream Austin to hear Mike Cope speak and Ken Young speak.

One thing that seemed to keep coming up whenever I had conversations with people was that we are not where we thought we would be right now. I got to hang out with friends from high school, friends I have known since I was 7 and who were best friends to me for a long time, friends from college, friends who have been mentors, and I met some new people. It seemed to keep coming up that our plans do not work out - whether that means people are divorced, still single, struggling with an illness, not in a job they like, have kids, don't have kids, where they are living, or things are going well but its not what we pictured.

When I was talking to my friend Amy she shared a testimony that God had been reminding her to take things one day at a time and not to spend so much time and energy worrying. This was a great thing to keep in my mind as I had the rest of these conversations through out the weekend - God is still God and He works for our good. Even when our plans don't work out and they don't go how we plan - that's ok and it's probably a good thing because His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9). This is still hard for me to grasp and to realize at times. I know it in my head but to put it into practice is a whole different ballgame.

God has the ability to see the big picture. I try to get better at trusting His plans for me but man, it's a slow process.

Where is your heart?

2011-12-30T21:23:00.000-08:00

So, besides being good for recipes and craft ideas, Pinterest has been making me think lately. I read something on the site a few days ago that I can't get out of my head.
"If you want to know where you heart is, look to where you mind goes when it wanders."

That is really interesting. Where does my mind go when it wanders? Sometimes it goes to old friends or family, or to things I would rather be doing, often it goes to my to-do list at work and home. I find my self thinking about things that I want to get done whether it's dishes, laundry or sending an email to someone I have been thinking about lately. I will start thinking about music I like, my next work out or the silly thing Addison did. My mind wanders a lot and since I have been paying attention to where it goes I have been embarrassed at how little it wanders towards Christ instead of the mundane things. I would love to focus more on what He is telling me and what I should be hearing rather than what I should make for dinner.

I'm not exactly sure how to change that except to start making a more purposeful effort to focus more at times. I don't want faith and the things that God has made me passionate about and that He is pulling me towards to be the things that I go to the least.

I want to be proud of where my mind goes and where my heart is. I know it will still go to the everyday and the mundane things and I will frequently think about that my to do list but I don't want that to be my first thoughts and my focus.

Thanks pinterest!

Christmas Idea

2011-12-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

So, I saw this post on pinterest a few weeks ago that said the 4 gifts that kids get for Christmas: something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.

I LOVE that idea. I could easily buy Addie tons of cool presents. I could make and get everyone else lots of presents too for that matter. I love to give people stuff that I think they will like. It makes me happy. But, I also think Christmas is way to much about "stuff" now.

I know that I don't really NEED much. Sure, there are things that I would like but as far as needs go, I don't need much. But, I also know that other people in my life enjoy buying presents as much as I do. Christmas has become about giving and joy and presents and I think that's ok as long as it doesn't get out of control. That's why I like this 4 present idea. Kids (or adults) can still make lists in those categories but it keeps things controlled and in perspective.

I want to make a conscious effort to be more deliberate about how I celebrate Christmas and make Jesus and celebrating that gift a bigger part of it. I want my some of my family traditions to be about helping others and giving back and not all about what we want. There is definitely room for other Christmas stuff - lights, trees, parties, Santa etc. But, I also want to be aware of the other side of it. I've been thinking about that more and more this year. I don't want Addison to grow up thinking about how much she can get each year and being upset if she doesn't get everything on her list. I want her to be thankful for presents and generous to others. I already see a lot of this in her now.

That's it for today! Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Ninja Warrior -Please Read

2011-12-14T12:50:00.000-08:00

I have posted before about my friend Nathan. Now let me tell you about his sister Amy. She is someone I have looked up to for a long time. We really got to know each other when I was going into the HS youth group and she had just graduated from it. We stayed in the same house in Minnesota for our youth group mission trip along with one of her good friends and my friend Kristen. We made a lot of memories that trip - we got stuck on the side of the road and sang VBS songs, we laughed until our stomachs hurt and we learned a lot about each other.

I learned that Amy fought to have her high school allow her to have a bible study on campus, that she marched to beat of her own drum and that she was not afraid to speak her mind. I also learned that she deeply loved Jesus and her family...and that she has MS.

The next summer is when I went to Africa and got very sick. Amy was a huge support to me even while she was away at college. Towards the end of that year we took a road trip to Houston together so I could go to a special clinic that dealt with headaches for a week. Amy hung with me in the hospital until my parents got there and even showed the nurse the best vein to use for my IV (she had lots of experience).

Amy has been pretty open about her journey with MS. she deals with weakness tremors,spasms and lesions on her spine and brain as well as other technical things i dont understand. her health has gone up and down with different medications and situations.

Recently she has decided that she has had enough and that while she has full trust in God she is also going after a cure. I'm telling you - this woman amazes me. She has two blogs but the one that she recently started about this journey is called "Amy Goes Ninja on MS" - here is the link http://amygoesninja.wordpress.com/ Please read it and find out about her journey. She is also raising funds for a procedure that could rid her body of this illness - what a blessing that would be! Pass it along to anyone else that you think would be interested as well.

Like I said, she is someone that I have always respected and looked up to. When I started writing I mentioned her younger brother Nathan. Nathan passed away almost nine years ago. The Dodd family has been through a lot but they have stayed focused on Christ. I keep thinking that if Nathan were here he would be Amy's biggest cheerleader right now encouraging her to kick MS's butt...i am thankful that she is fighting this and that she is letting the people that know and love her support her financially and prayerfully.

The most wonderful time of the year???

2011-12-11T19:37:00.000-08:00

It's really no secret that I love Christmas time and always have. Like, I obsessively love Christmas. I love making and buying presents for people. I love decorating the house. I love Christmas movies and baking and lights and Christmas trees.

The past few years though, I have noticed that I have not enjoyed it as much as I have in the past. I'm not sure if it's because I'm so busy that I'm too stressed to enjoy it or if it just all seems like a little more of a hassle or what. This year has been more fun since Addison is really starting to know about Santa and Christmas. I hope she grows up to love Christmas time too.

So, the other thing this has made me think of is that Christmas is about family and for the past year (or a little less I guess) I have really been wanting our family to grow and that is just not happening like I want it to and it seems to frustrate me more right now than usual. Christmas time is always hard on people who have experienced loss, grief, challenges etc.

At work we tell our foster parents to except the unexpected from the foster kids in their homes as they all deal with being away from family differently. Some of them have happy memories of holidays with their parents but some of them have memories of sad and scary holidays. The kids can be angry, apathetic, sad, or grateful and happy (or all of those things).

This time of year brings out so many different emotions and unfortunately I think sometimes we get caught up in the joyful-ness (not a bad thing) and forget about people around us who may be hurting: people who lost a family member this year, are going through a divorce, have health struggles etc.

So - thanks for letting me ramble a little bit. Praying that everyone has a blessed Christmas and new year!

Hmmm....

2011-11-13T17:22:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure anyone looks at this anymore - not that I blame you since I haven't written in months. I have a bunch of cute pics to upload but first a little update:
My munchkin is 2! She had an "Olivia" party and loved it. She seems like such a big girl to me...and is full on in the two year old stage at times. We are talking throw herself on the ground when she is upset stage. It's not often and it doesn't always last long but oh my goodness it makes me crazy. She is also learning new words constantly and making sentences.She is recently obsessed with snow and pumpkins - adorable! She is doing great with potty training and says goodbye to her poop when she flushes - hilarious!
When we took her for her 2 year check up the doctor said that she was only at the 5% mark for weight and she was a little concerned since she had actually lost weight since an check up for an ear infection a few months ago. I am supposed to do the opposite of all my healthy habits like low fat cheese, not much butter, fat free yogurt etc to help her gain some more weight. We will do a check up in a few months to see how she is doing. It is hard on me that I have a child who does not eat veggies or fruit and is so picky. My favorite foods when I was a kids were veggies and fruits and I will eat anything. I want her to be healthy and eat more than chicken nuggets, grilled cheese and peanut butter and honey.

Anyway - Josh is busy but doing well. He was asked to be on the board of NCYM (National Conference on Youth Ministry) something he has been excited about for a few years. My job is crazy and stressful but it's a needed paycheck. And, I guess I would miss what I do, although I wouldn't mind having a less stressful type of job, working part time or working at a different agency.

So, I think that's it for now....there really is so much going on but I don't really have much more time to type so it will have to wait.

Two Years Ago Sept 22

2011-09-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today I had convinced my mom and Josh to let me out of the house by myself for a few hours. I was supposed to be on bedrest but since it was now ok for Addison to be born it was no longer as crucial and it was fine for me to do stuff if I felt like it. So, I went to the mall for a few hours to walk around. When I got home Josh had chili ready for dinner and I sat on my exercise ball that had become my regular chair.

Contractions started actually earlier that afternoon and I ignored them. They got worse about dinner and I waited, and waited and waited until I absolutely couldn't stand it or barely stand, any longer and then we went to the hospital. I listened to Weezer on the way to the hospital. I had Heartsongs in my head and it was great. We got there and I barely got the epidural in time. Minutes after getting the epidural my water broke. A few minutes later i started pushing and my little girl was here. (By this point it was no longer Sept 22, it was now into the 23rd).

It was a whirlwind next few days and now I have an amazing, smart, sometimes sassy, independent, beautiful little girl who loves kisses, hugs, Oliva, Elmo, books and butterflies.

Vegas Vacation

2011-09-13T18:40:00.000-07:00

Over Labor Day weekend we met Josh's family in Vegas. His brother Jared was there for a wedding and his parents have a condo/timeshare thing so it was a great place for us all to meet sicne we hadn't been together since last Thanksgiving. Plus tickets were pretty cheap.

Everyone was surprised at how big Addie had gotten and how much more she was talking etc. She says "thank you" all the time now and it is so, so sweet. She has also started saying "sorry" we are just trying to teach her when to say it. Josh and i were impressed at how well she did staying up late to accomodate the adults without being fussy. She is such a happy and flexible little girl!

We had a good time on the trip and saw some fun stuff (everyone had been there before except for Lauren), played at the pool and Josh even won some money. Gramps and Addie had a great time together and any time that Great Grandmother can spend with Addie is always special. I could obviously write more but it's the little Munchkin's bedtime so the picture's will have to do for now.

300th post - Maybe when I'm 30

2011-08-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

In honor of my 300th post and my approaching 30th birthday I decided to make a list.

Maybe when I am 30:
-I will actually, finally feel like a grown up.
-I will pick clothes that look nice over clothes that are comfy.
-I will wear make up more than 2 or 3 days a week.
-I will have another baby.
-I will stop loving crazy adrenaline inducing activities.
-I will keep my house clean and cook dinner more often.
-I will actually put away laundry the same day I fold it.
-I will read a more books a year that are for more than entertainment value (other than the Bible).
-I will learn to correctly fold a fitted sheet.

Maybe I will do some of those things when I am 30. Maybe.

300 posts is a lot. I have definitely slacked off on posting in the last year - part of that is because I have been busy with Addie, part of it is being busy with work and part of it is not really knowing what to write about. I mean, our lives are not super exciting. There have been things that have happened that I haven't written about though so I would really like to try and get better. Here's to 300 more posts (if anyone even still reads this)!

July 28th

2011-07-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

I woke up today and thought "it's the 28th". That means that today would have been my friend Nathan's 30th birthday. Nathan passed away in 2003 on the day after Christmas in a car accident. Nathan was the oldest one in our huddle class. This is the year that we would/will all be turning 30 so it's a cool year.

We had all been friends for a long long time, some of us since elementary school - Nathan join our group in middle school. We all talked about what we would be doing when we were grown ups and when we would get together. I don't want to speak for anyone else, but when Nathan died right before we all graduated from college it knocked us down. It was rough, and still is rough. He was a friend to everyone, a goof who could make anyone laugh, a guy who was real, a leader, a Marine, a baby brother and a total mama's boy.

Nathan's favorite song was Create In Me. Today I have been singing that song a lot of the day. I have also been praying for his family and friends - praying for peace, joy and a sweet time of remembering Nathan.

I know that God is bigger, God is sovereign and God is good.

Sunday morning Chaos

2011-07-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

Sunday mornings are always a little crazy - which has never made sense to me since we usually leave at the same time or later than regular work days. Sometimes Josh leaves an hour or so before Addie and I do, sometimes we all leave at the same time.

Anyway, it always seems like things go wrong on Sundays, especially when it is just me getting her ready. For example, the Sunday after Josh left for Kadesh Addie put her shoes in the toilet. Yesterday she stepped up her game. She was eating breakfast (luckily in just a diaper) and I was less than 5 feet away getting some coffee and when I come back into the living room her stomach, head, hands and face are covered in yogurt and she is making designs in it on her tray. This is not typical behavior, lately she has been doing really well with yogurt and spoon and last time made hardly any mess at all.

Sunday after church we were able to have lunch with a wonderful woman from church, Marita McKay. She is a sweet lady that I have grown to love and respect. She has actually been at University longer than anyone else in the congregation and has been in Denver for about 80 years. I learned so much about her at lunch. Her mom raised 5 kids alone after their dad passed away when Marita was 6. Marita also has 5 kids and tons of grandkids and great grand kids. She made Addie the yellow dress she is wearing in some of the pictures. It is so special to be able to have people here that can be psudeo family for us and Addison.

I may have mentioned this before but Addie has a few baby dolls. One that she recently got from my mom, her Nana. She is so sweet to these babies and puts them to bed, feeds them etc. She loves to kiss them, give them to Josh and I to kiss and so many other things. I was finally able to get some pictures of her with her baby Sunday afternoon. It is just to precious. She will be a great big sister some day.

I never thought...

2011-06-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

-that I would say the phrase "shoes do not belong in the toilet". Addie threw her shoe in the toilet this morning when she was angry and then this afternoon decided to try to put to her shoes in there for fun (the lid was up because it is broken).

-that I would have to be thinking up ways to trick my daughter to eat veggies or any sort of fruit. She used to love them and then all of a sudden stopped eating them all together unless they are in chip or fruit rollup form. So, if anyone has ideas, bring 'em on.

-that I would rather buy kid clothes/toys etc than stuff for me.

-that I would care so little that my house is a disaster 75% of the time.

-that my daughter would kiss my "ouchies" or that before I convinced her to call them "ouchies" she would combine "owie" and "boo-boo" and say "boobie" when she was hurt.

-that I could love each stage that she goes through so much for its own unique things - like even right now when she is stubborn and rebellious she is also discovering more about her sense of humor and her affectionate side. She is also learning so many new skills and words.

I knew there are going to be a lot more things that I never thought would happen - some great and some not so great. This parenthood thing is definitely an adventure.

Two weeks is a long time

2011-06-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

Josh is gone for two weeks - first at Kadesh at ACU and then at Cornerstone at OC. First of all, this is a transportation nightmare. I won't get into all of the details of renting vans, trailers that can't go on the rental vans etc but after Kadesh Josh takes 4 kids to OC with him from Abilene and the rest of the adults take the rest of the kids home, the two other adults drive the MS group to OC on Saturday (passing the HS group) then they leave to go back on Sunday. Josh is at camp for another week then bring everyone home on Friday. Like I said,m transportation nightmare.

Anyway, I am used to him being gone - this has been happening every summer since we started dating. But, it is getting hard as Addie gets older. She is now asking about him when he is gone, she looks for him in the mornings or when we get home in the evenings. I tell her that Daddy is working and that we can talk to him later and she is just fine, but she knows that he is not here.

It's also hard because she is headed full speed towards the stubborn two-year old behaviors. My work schedule also has a tendency to get a little insane, especially since I just picked up several new families as one of my co-workers just resigned to move to OK. Each summer I get a new appreciation for single parents who also work full time (or who don't).

But, no matter how stressful and exhausting it is, I try to remember that Josh is doing what he loves and what God has blessed him with gifts to do. I know he LOVES camp each summer but that he also misses us. I hope that someday we can go with him (especially to Kadesh which I love so much too). So, until these two weeks are over we will keep praying for Dada while he is at camp and having lots of fun Mama and Addie time!

Kisses

2011-06-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

One of Addison's new favorite things is to give kisses. She makes the cutest "Mmmuuuaaa" noise as she either gives kisses or blows kisses. She is also an "equal opportunity kisser" - if she kisses me, she has to then kiss Josh, Gigi and whoever else is in the room. She has been known to blow kisses to Elmo while watching Sesame Street and to sit and just kiss her baby doll in the car.

It is adorable.

I love that she is so affectionate and loving. Josh just keeps telling her that she needs to stop this kissing behavior before she becomes a teenager. I can't seem to get a cute picture of her sith her kissing face but I will eventually. There was a super sweet picture taken of her kissing my sister in her wedding dress last weekend and I can't wait to see it!

I love this little girl - she is such a joy!!

After the Mavs won the CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

Addison!

2011-05-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

I have been so, so bad about keeping up with the blog lately. Really, life has just been a little out of control. So, I have a few minutes right now while Addie is napping so I thought I would upload some pictures and type a few fun things that she is doing.
-She still loves to have books read to her. This is great except that now she is getting whiny when we say no, or not right now.
- She loves to brush her teeth. Hopefully this continues.
-Connie is helping her learn her name. If you spell it she will say that is says Addie. She will also repeat the letters and sometimes say it one her own. Super cute.
-I love her prayers at night. "Thank you (for) Mama, Dada, Nonnie (Connie), Jesus. Amen." and then we get kisses. It is awesome!
-I just cannot believe how much she has grown and how fast she is learning. Really, it is amazing. I have been so busy lately that there have been times I haven't enjoyed her like I should have but I am so blessed by her.

Africa Part 2

2011-03-31T19:53:00.000-07:00

So we landed in Namibia after about 24 hours of travel. We flew from Denver to DC and met Casey there. From DC we flew 16 hours to Johannesburg South Africa and had to run to make our flight to Windhoek, Namibia. When we got to Namibia we discovered that half of our bags were missing. Everyone but Casey had at least one bag missing and both of mine were gone. Luckily I had a change of clothes and all my medicine and most toiletry stuff in my carry on.

I was able to introduce the team to John and Martie that night and then we went to a hotel to sleep before driving to Tsumeb the next day. It's a 5 hour drive from Windhoek (capitol) to Tsumeb where John and Martie live. Along the drive we kept seeing signs telling drivers to watch for warthogs on the road. We did see a few baboons in the trees but no warthogs. The country was so green and beautiful - a lot different that the last time I was in Namibia when it was summer there and dry.

When we got to Tsumeb John took us around the town and showed us the new church building/bible school - a definite upgrade from the one they had when I was there last and the orphanage. The building that the orphanage is in is what used to be the church building. We were able to meet the children who live at the orphanage and play with them for a little while before going to John and Martie's house. I will write more about the kids later - they deserve their own post.

The next day was Sunday so we went to services and were able to worship with the congregation in Tsumeb. Everyone was so welcoming! We were luck enough to get our luggage back that morning which was good since we were planning on leaving for Etosha - Namibia's largest game reserve after services that morning.

Etosha will be the next post. I also deserves it's own and will have lots of pictures.

Happy 18 month birthday

2011-03-23T18:13:00.000-07:00

My little girl is 18 months old today! I can't believe it has gone by so fast. She is so much fun - running all over the place, talking all the time, giggling etc. She loves kisses, tickling people and reading books. I love that she gets so excited and says "Mama" every time she sees me.

I could go on on but it is actually bath time and if you delay her bath she gets upset. I am so incredibly blessed by this sweet girl!

I have lots more pictures, these are just the only ones on this computer...all the others are on Josh's computer!

Africa Part One

2011-03-22T20:22:00.000-07:00

Well, before we get to the actual Africa trip I will talk a little about what lead up to me going on the trip. A little over a year ago I was at an area-wide youth retreat that my friend Casey spoke at. The theme was Unsafe. I had already been thinking for a long time that I wanted to go back to Africa but the timing never seemed to work out. At that retreat God was really speaking to me through some of what Casey Pate was saying and I decided that I was going to make a trip happen. I talked to Josh and we decided that March would be a good time for me to go with his schedule. I started to put some of the pieces into place and eventually asked some friends to go and announced to my church that I was going and whoever wanted to go with me was welcome but that the details/dates etc were set. I was excited when 4 other people decided to go also but I also would have been content to go on my own. I have gone to Africa several times before and love it. It's hard to explain it really. There is something about the people and the land that really get into your heart and changes you. I wasn't sure if and when I would get to go back again so I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. I will always try to encourage the kids Josh works with, as well as adults to get involved in missions - it really is a powerful experience and an incredible way to share Christ.

Anyway....It was a challenge to figure out what Josh and I were going to do with Addison while I was gone. Eventually we decided that she would spend time with 2 of the 3 set of grandparents so that Josh could still work since Connie, who takes care of her during the days was also going on the trip.

At first I wasn't nervous about it leaving Addison, I got worried as the trip got closer just because it was the longest I have been away from her - before that it has just been a weekend. She is a pretty adaptable and flexible little girl so I thought she would do well but I was still nervous about how it would affect her. She ended up doing great and not having any problems at all other than that she was still recovering from being sick the week before.

Josh was great and so supportive of me going. He had been to the same place in Namibia that I was going to - we went together 7 years ago so he had a good idea of where I would be, what I would be doing and who I would be with etc. He helped me do everything I needed him to in order to get me ready to go.

It was a rough few weeks before we left. I was working long days and even some weekends. Addie had been sick for almost 2 weeks and worse more sick than she had ever been before. It seemed like there was so much going on. I ended up getting sick the Sunday before we left and just tried to ignore how bad I felt. I kept telling myself I could sleep on the plane.

We finally were able to leave on March 3rd - ready to go to Tsumeb Namibia and work with John and Martie D'Alton, the Tsumeb Bible School, an orphanage there and help build a church building in a village in Northern Namibia.

So sweet

2011-02-10T21:26:00.000-08:00

Last night I was putting Addison to bed and started sing "Jesus Loves Me" to her as I was putting her pjs on. And...she started doing the hand motions! At first it was just like hand flapping but then I could tell what it was and she was doing the sign for Jesus.

It was so sweet and really just beautiful. She is not only learning so fast but she is learning about God. She may not totally know what the song means yet but I love that she is hearing it and learning it. I told Connie today that she was doing the motions and Connie was so excited too! She had been singing it to Addie last week.

This is just a short little post but I wanted to share this precious moment!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2011-02-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

Today the HIGH in Denver is -1. Right now it is -10 and feels like -24. That's not cold, it's frigid.

To make things worse, my entire family is sick. I have had a sore throat for weeks and Addie has had a runny nose for several days. Now, since about Sunday, all three of us are stuffy, coughing and just generally miserable. I guess this is the beginning of years of passing around any kind of bug no matter how much I clean.

So, I was thinking about some things that make me feel better on days like today and thought I would share them.

Josh got some Puffs Kleenex with Vicks and they are awesome! I also got some things called Boogie Wipes for poor Addison's nose - it was just raw. I never thought I would buy extra stuff like that buy in this case it was needed and has helped.

For a few years Josh has had some great sheepskin slippers from Old Friend. This year for Christmas he got me some. They are wonderfully warm and soft and one of the best things is that the sole is removable so it can be washed, fluffed and then put back in. I love these!

Then there is beverages. The old stand by is OJ - we all drank an entire carton in 24 hours. Addie's was diluted with water, Josh and I just drank it by the large cup full. We had a nice dinner together on Friday so I had some champagne in the house so I even made mimosas at one point.
The other favorite drink when I don't feel good is hot tea - more specifically is Joy tea from Tazo and Starbucks that you can only get at the holidays so I stock up. It just seems to make me feel better.

I am hoping we will start feeling better soon. As icky as I feel, as I know Addie and Josh feel, this weather makes me extremely thankful to have a house that I can heat, a coat, etc. There are so many people in Denver who don't have those things and these temperatures are so dangerous for them. I am so blessed and I want to do what I can to help others. One of things I have tried to do for several years is to always keep gloves, granola bars and water in my car. My mom started knitting scarves for me out of extra yarn to add to those things. I will give them to people when I see them on corners. Even those things seem so inadequate at times.

That's about it for now. Since today is technically a work at home day I probably need to get some work done

Marriage Milestone

2010-12-30T20:07:00.000-08:00

Josh and I have reached a new milestone in our relationship. It's not about having a 15 month old little girl or having just celebrated our 7th anniversary. No, this milestone has to do with food. We have finally, after almost 10 years together, found a sandwich place that we both like.

I love sandwiches. Josh does not - well he does sometimes. He does not like Subway or "girly" sandwiches. last week I convinced him to go to Which Wich and HE LIKED IT! This is awesome and I am so excited.

We did also just celebrate our 7th anniversary. It seems like its been a little bit of an "off" few months and we were glad to have the time to just hang out together and talk. 7 years seems like a long time but also not long at all. If it took us that long to find a sandwich place we both like I'm interested to see what happens in the next 7 years...

Thankful Story/Christmas (this may get long)

2010-12-16T19:00:00.000-08:00

I realized its been almost a month since I posted. Yikes! Honestly, I am totally overwhelmed with this new, busy job, spending as much time as I can with Addie and Josh, doing all of the stuff that needs to be done at home and sleeping occasionally.

The last day or two I have even been frustrated because I felt like I wasn't enjoying Christmas as much this year because I was too busy. I hate that. I LOVE this time of year so much! I love shopping for presents, wrapping presents, baking holiday treats, decorating and all the other things. Except this year I really haven't but that is just dumb. It's dumb for several reasons. 1. Christmas shouldn't be about presents. I like presents - giving and getting. But, it shouldn't be about one up-ing people with the best gift or buying the newest and best of everything. I don't really need anything this year. Any gifts I get are extras, luxury things that I am sure I will love but definitely don't want people to stress about. I have tried to make an effort this year to focus on what Christmas should reallly be about - God, Jesus, family, love, forgiveness and all those other things. But, admittedly it hasn't worked as much as I would like since I was still so stressed out.

Today I learned several things. First, on Good Morning America this morning there was a story about a man who wrote a thank you note every day for a year and has now written a book about it that comes out next week. I really like this guy's general idea but I am not sure how I feel about the reason behind it. At one point in his interview he said that he has now written 6oo and something thank you notes and good things keep happening to him so he will keep doing it. I love the project of expressing thankfulness for the big things and even the little things like thanking the guy who makes your coffee at Starbucks. But, do it to give joy, not because good things are happening to you. Now, this may not be the guy's real motive, all I heard was a 2 minutes interview but it made me start thinking.

Then, later today I spent several hours organizing and distributing gifts for the kids in foster care that I work with. That is always one of my favorite parts of the year. People are so generous and these kids truly love it.

So, I am going to work harder to be less stressed and more thankful. I want to enjoy this holiday that I get to spend with my family.

New Job

2010-11-21T19:50:00.000-08:00

I really wanted to start blogging regularly again, but then I got this new job and life has been crazy!

Basically the job is exactly the same job that I was doing, just at a different agency. I am about to start my third week and am beginning to feel more comfortable. The first week was pretty rough because the schedule seemed to be a lot more demanding in the evenings than I was prepared for. Then, the second week kind of stunk because I started it out by having Strep and an Ear Infection and ended in with several families having minor and not so minor crisis. I am only working two days this week before taking off Wednesday to go to Texas for Thanksgiving so hopefully it will get better, not worse.

I have missed seeing Addie during the days but it is fun that she gets so excited to see me when I finally get home each night. I am definitely ready to get to know the families that I am working with and have the schedule settle down some so I can have a more normal routine at home too.

In other news: Addison is now saying "bye bye" and "night night". She can moo like a cow and says "ahh ahh" when you ask her what her monkey says. She points to eyes, and noses and mouths and if you ask where her tongue is she sticks it in and out like a lizard! Her hair is long enough for a little pony tail so we bought the little tiny clear rubber bands yesterday and I am excited to use them. She also likes to brush her hair. One of my favorite things that she is doing now is that she will come up and give me hugs, pats or "kisses". She also loves to say hi to everyone! She is just such a sweet little girl.

Enough of my gushing for now...I need to get some sleep so I can get up with her in the morning. My mom just mailed me to cds with like 1500 pictures so the next post will have pictures - I promise.

Is anyone even still reading this????

Lists

2010-11-03T20:57:00.000-07:00

This post has a few purposes. 1) I have been thinking of random things like this lately. 2) I need to get back in the habit of posting things regularly. 3) I am trying to stay awake until Josh gets home.

5 Things I Love About November:
1. It's the month my birthday is in!
2. Pumpkin bread, turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and other yummy foods.
3. The Thanksgiving Day Parade
4. College football, except that this year my Longhorns stink.
5. It's almost Christmas!

5 Projects On My To-do List:
1. Family Christmas stockings - Josh and I have ones I made when we got married but it's time for ones that we will have from now on with kids. I'm excited about them.
2. A tree skirt.
3. A fun easy little dress for Addie.
4. A few Christmas presents that I haven't finished yet.
5. Finishing a cool wooden star I found in a trash can broken in half- all I need to do is nail it back together.

5 People I Have Been Missing Lately:
1. Jackie Beth - She's in Brazil so we can't really actually talk as much. Bummer.
2. Kasey. I love that she "gets me" in a lot of ways and I wish we lived closer.
3. My siblings
4. Friends from my huddle in high school at Westover - lots of things have been bringing them to mind lately.
5. Some of the youth group kids who are now freshman in college. They are a special group and we are about to go on the first retreat (big activity) since they have left.

5 Things I Have Been Praying For:
1. A job that is a good fit for me, my skills and will allow me to still be available for Addie.
2. Healing and patience with headaches
3. Josh
4. Thankfulness for Addison as she is growing so fast.
5. Discerment and for God to guide Josh and I as we try to see what's next.

5 Things I Am Loving About Addison Right Now:
1. Her sense of humor - she teases us, tickles Josh, etc.
2. She loves to sit and read her books.
3. Her beautiful long hair that continues to curl at the bottoms.
4. She is so adventerous (I think she gets that from me!)
5. She reaches out to hug us and will give kisses when we ask (even if her mouth is open). Makes my heart melt!

and finally:
5 Totally Random Thoughts Before Bed:
1. Last week I went 5 days without washing my hair.
2. I am so glad elections are over so my mail box and voicemail are not clogged with political stuff.
3. I love to bake but do the majority of it in the fall.
4. My hair is longer than it has been since I was in high school, maybe college.
5. I think my fingers are shrinking because lately my rings are slidding all over the place.

Life As We Know It

2010-10-24T20:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, here goes nothing....
My headaches have been getting worse. I don't remember them being this bad, this consistently in years. So that's been hard. My neurologist can't see me until the end of November - we have been emailing and she has increased my medication but it doesn't seem to be helping much so far. It's been 13 years that I've had these stupid headaches and emotionally I'm doing ok with that right now, I am just frustrated with the limitations that they are placing on me.

I am still looking for a job. There aren't a ton of options right now and the things that are out there are either a really long commute or the job isn't a good fit. I just got a call for an interview on Thursday that I'm excited about though. I have enjoyed being home with Addie more and I think it will be hard to go back to work but I don't have much of a choice. I also miss work, I miss the challenge and using my skills. I am proud of myself for not stressing out about the lack of income more than I have. That's big for me.

Along with all my job search stuff, Josh and I have been hearing voices - not in a schizophrenic kind of way, but in a "God what are you saying" kind of way. We've thought that God was distinctly calling us in one direction and then we've had those doors slammed closed. We had a hard time adjusting to that and are trying so hard to discern what God is teaching us and guiding us to now. Since hearing a "no" or "not now" we have seen other doors open. I don't know if Josh and I have experienced trying to desperately hear God's voice and find the path He is leading us towards in quite this way before. It has brought us closer, taught us things and helped us re-evaluate our goals etc.

I believe that no matter what happens God is in control. I am excited to see what will happen from here and what doors will open. I am trying to spend more time in prayer lately to listen as well as talk. It's amazing how refreshing that is!

Now for the obligatory updates on my sweet daughter - she is talking more and more and I love it! She still seems so tiny and petite to me compared to other kids and is just now at 20 lbs. Yesterday she actually got her first black eye and fat lip from two separate falls within about an hour of each other. Thankfully, she's a tough girl! I am in awe daily of how much I love her and how much she is growing. Her personality is coming out more and more - she loves to joke around and tickle us, she loves to snuggle, she is so easy going most of the time.

So that's our life lately. Lots of uncertainty, lots of ups and downs but Josh frequently reminds me that we are on the same team and sticking together. I really do have the greatest husband ever, by the way.

Enjoy the pictures!

New

2010-10-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

New stuff on the Craft blog...

Check if out if you get a chance. I would appreciate it. http://shiloh-jones.blogspot.com/

I know, I know I haven't posted in forever. There has been a lot going on that I have not really been able to talk about. So, now I can and will post at least a little. Sorry for the tease.....

Addie's Birthday Party

2010-09-24T20:25:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I am actually writing about my baby's first birthday party. Wow - where has the year gone. The night before her actually birthday I was laying in bed think " a year ago I was in labor and trying to wait just a little longer before heading to the hospital". Not only has Addison grown so much in this past year, I have too. She went from being not quite 7 lbs to being not quite 20 lbs. She went from just laying in our arms, crying and eating to trying so hard to walk, moving all over the place and making the sweetest noises and words. I went from feeling as huge as a house to feeling in shape and strong again. I went from being unsure of myself and having no idea what to do with a baby to feelings at least a little confident that I am a good mom and can care for her. I went from expecting to love her to loving her more than I thought I would. Wow - what a year.

She is doing great - standing along for a minute or two and trying to walk but not quite balanced enough yet. She did awesome at her party - she was in a great mood the whole time and loved all the attention. Enjoy the pictures!

Garden of the Gods Climbing Day

2010-09-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

"It's not about the money we make;

it's about the passions that we ache for."

On Thursday I got to go spend 4 hours technical rock climbing at Garden of the Gods. Josh had given me a gift certificate as a present for completing my 7th summer as a "youth ministry widow". I love that I have a husband who knows things I love and encourages me to pursue them.

I got up early on Thursday and drove to Colorado Springs to start the day. I ended up getting to do 4 climbs and repels with just myself and the guide (Buster) who was probably in his mid twenties and has been climbing since he was about 10. My mom and stepdad were going to be in the Springs Thursday anyway so they got to come and watch my middle two climbs. I was thankful they were there to video and take pictures for me!

I won't give you all the details of each one but the levels/grades of the climbs ranged from a 5.6 to a 5.8. Climbing on the sandstone was different for me and I had a hard time with the slab climbing but I really enjoyed it.

I also think it was a great therapeutic day for me too. I remember thinking as I drove home that I felt like I had more control on top of a 70 foot rock face than I did over what is going on in life right now. Several times as I was climbing I would simply pray "God keep me safe." or "God give me strength". I loved sitting at the top of the third climb, looking around and spending a few minutes in prayer before repelling down again.

I love doing this and would do it all the time if I could! Enjoy the pictures!

We are alive

2010-09-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

In case you were panicking - don't. We are all alive and fine. I apologize for not posting but life has been crazy as of late. My brain has been even more crazy - I think this is worse than any pregnancy brain I ever experienced. I am totally scattered and forgetful which is not good considering our schedules have been full.

Anyway, we had a great trip to Texas to visit family. I am looking for a job and getting to hang out with Addie more in the meantime.

We also have Addison's birthday party this weekend! WooHoo!

I will do my best to post more later. Thanks for hanging in there if you actually are....

Songs of my life

2010-08-30T14:34:00.000-07:00

I have decided that lately songs have describing my feelings more of how I am feeling that I am able to. Tomorrow is my last day at Adoption Alliance. Josh will pick me up from work and we will leave from here to drive to Texas. I'm really doing ok for the most part. Sad to say goodbye to awesome, selfless foster families and precious, hilarious children who have overcome more than I can imagine. I am also sad to say goodbye to my great foster care team, especially Jennifer and Courtney - I will laugh quite a bit less now, but I am determined to stay in touch with them.

Anyway, here of some of the songs that can read my mind lately....

Everything by Telecast:
"When the world comes crashing down around my feet
And I can't see ten feet in front of me
Jesus, I know that you are strong when I am weak
So please help me, allow you to be
My everything

No matter what this day will bring
I will lift my hands and sing
Oh be my everything
I'll make my life an offering
In you alone, I believe
Oh be my everything,
My everything "

Show Me What I'm Looking For by Carolina Liar:
"Save me, I'm lost
Oh Lord I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for
Oh Lord"

Pork and Beans by Weezer:
"I'm gonna do the things that I wanna do, I ain't got a thing to prove to you.
I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans,
excuse my manners if I make a scene.
I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like.
I'm fine and dandy with me inside.
One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink,
I don't give a hoot about what you think"

Chicken Fried: Zac Brown Band
"And its funny how it`s the little things in life that mean the most
Not where you live, what you drive or the price tag on your clothes
There`s no dollar sign on a piece of mind; this I`ve come to know
So if you agree have a drink with me
Raise your glasses for a toast
To a little bit of chicken fried

Cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio up
Well I`ve seen the sunrise
See the love in my woman`s eyes
Feel the touch of a precious child
And know a mother`s love "

Everything by Lifehouse:
"Find me here, and speak to me.
I want to feel you, I need to hear you.
You are the light that's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the light to my soul
You are my purpose. My everything."

There's more but that's enough for now.

Addie's birthday is in less than a month and I still can't believe she is almost a year! Josh is done with the summer and except for a few conferences he is home for awhile. I am applying for jobs and will get to file for unemployment on Wednesday.

That's about all that is going on.

Job

2010-08-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

I really don't know where to start. My next planned blog entry was going to be about Josh's Honduras trip. Then Monday happened. I walked into work ready for the day and about an hour into it my supervisor asked to talk with me. I went to her office and our weird, annoying Executive Director was there too. She politely told me that because the agency was so in the red that my position was being cut and that I had a two week notice which was really a one week notice since I was going on vacation next week. I held it together pretty good until the end when I thought about saying goodbye to my families and kids that I work with.

I had a doctor's appointment scheduled and they told me to go to that and then take the day off. Instead, after my appointment I came back and met Courtney and Jennifer (my foster care team) for lunch. Jennifer's hours got cut from 40 to 24 also. Courtney is the case aide/admin person. We were all confused as to my it was my position since (not to toot my own horn) I'm not the newest person, I have a full case load, and I have a skill set and resources that no one else on the team or even in the agency does. It doesn't make sense that it would be my position when there is another person on our team who doesn't have a nearly full case load and doesn't do all the extra stuff I do like teaching training classes etc. When we asked those questions we were given shady answers so it seems like something else is going on which makes it even worse that they aren't just being upfront. Over and over again my supervisor who I really like and our Ex. Director praised my job performance and what I have done for the department and said it wasn't a factor in the decision but when I asked what was they wouldn't tell me.They would just say it involved other people and they could divulge that information.

I keep telling myself there is no point is dwelling on that stuff because it won't change anyone's mind. Yesterday I had to tell 3 of my families goodbye at meeting I already had scheduled. One foster mom that I have had since I first started at Adoption Alliance (she is an older retired woman who takes tough kids) started crying. To me, this isn't just a job. I care so much about this families and the kids they take in. I want the best for them, I will wonder what happened, I want to make sure that someone is fighting for them. I am worried about the financial implications of no job but I'm really upset about the emotional impact right now. I could have done this job forever.

I love my job. It's a huge part of my identity. I am already looking for something else because I enjoy it so much. I'm good at it. I'm good at walking along side kids and families, hearing their struggles, helping the kids find permenancy, and working to help them grow and change.

This is Leslie - a sweet girl I worked with who was adopted by her foster family!

This is Leslie and her brother Jordan at Jordan's Tae Kwan Do Belt Ceremony. I love these kids!

I am trying so hard to believe that God has a bigger plan for all this. I just want to see it. I want to see the whole picture. I don't want to be angry or depressed. I want to be hopeful. I want to reflect God in this.

It's OVER

2010-08-16T13:14:00.000-07:00

I have officially finished my 7th summer as a youth ministry widow. In fact, my sweet husband gave me a card and a gift certificate for a day of rock climbing in honor of that.

Really, I was thinking that this summer in particular was going to be the hardest one yet but it wasn't at all. If I do say so myself, I did well with Addie by self and I had lots of help from Connie and my mom. The biggest challenge this summer was that instead of Josh being gone a week, home a week, gone a week etc. he was gone for two weeks, home a week, gone another week and half. Two weeks was the longest time he has been away in one chunk, especially since Addison has been a part of our family.

Josh had some awesome experiences this summer and I wish I could have been a part of them - I guess in a way I was. This year's Kadesh theme was HOPE. My favorite. This was the theme the first year that I was a camper and the first year that I was a counselor. It has a huge part in why we picked Addison's middle name. It has played a huge part in my life in general. When I was a camper I left the day after Kadesh to go to Africa for the first time and on the way home from Africa 3 weeks later got very (deathly) ill. I remember vividly laying in my hospital bed in Chicago where the plane had to do an emergency landing and thinking that if I died it would be ok because I had no doubts that I would go to heaven. What I had learned about Hope was so real to me. That experience changed much of my faith and outlook of life.

Hope again played a huge role in my life when Josh and I struggled with miscarriages. I have been waiting for the Kadesh theme to come back around and was upset that I couldn't make it this year but in a way it's probably better. Josh was able to talk, on Addison's 9 month birthday, about my story of Hope and how it's important to me and how it has played a part in how we named her.

There was some youth group drama at Kadesh over kids bringing cell phones and being mad and Josh for taking them up so they could focus on camp - oh the life of a youth minister.....

After Kadesh, Josh went directly to OC for Cornerstone with a few high school counselors and some adults from Denver drove the MS campers there. It was a good week for him to be with friends but hard to be away for so long.

It was great when he finally came home - Addie was so much bigger and moving around so much more! She had started actually crawling quickly and getting into things right as he left so I had to begin to adjust to the more mobile baby by myself. He was amazed at how much difference two weeks made.

So, that's the first part of the summer - the other big thing was the mission trip to Honduras which I will have to write about later since I should be working right now.

Even though it's challenging at times, I am so very blessed to be the wife of a youth minister. I love to see his passion for teens, even when he is frustrated with them. I love that I grow to love these kids and that I get to be a part of their lives. I am excited to see Addison continue to grow up around the youth group and these kids that love her so much. I am excited to teach her that even when her dad leaves a lot in the summers its because he is spreading God's love to others and we should be proud of him and pray for him. I want her to develop of love of ministry just like Josh.

Totally Overwhelmed

2010-08-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have tried to sit down and blog almost every day recently and my brain has been on total overload. Last week I had a really bad week at work. I mean, bad! It was pretty emotional. I worked 17 hours on Wednesday and 12 hours on Thursday. There was a crisis in one of my foster homes that was really stable - one of the boys did something he shouldn't have and the parents no longer felt safe having him in the home and so he and his younger brother had to leave. In the process of all this we had search and rescue and about 50 volunteers out searching the hill country and land where the foster parents live. I can't really go into details but I was an emotional wreck for a few days. To top it off, I couldn't sleep because I couldn't turn my brain off.

I love my job and I love the work that I do. Overall it is rewarding and I work with some fantastic foster families. I love being able to take kids that other people may have written off and helping them succeed or at least do more than they have previously. Sometimes its not about amazing, news worthy success stories, it's just about growth and changes they make. Anyway....as much as I enjoy my job I have been really burnt out the last few weeks. It could be that it's a combination of work, not really taking care of myself and Josh being gone among other things. Things have also been stressful at the agency because of finances and money. We don't have as many kids in placement as we need to in order to meet our budget and the adoption departments are short as well. I have an AWESOME team that I work with - I love these ladies and they are great friends as well as co-workers. So, I'm hopefully that all of this work chaos will straighten itself out soon.

It has caused me to question a little bit about if I am doing the right thing being involved in a career that is so emotional draining and time consuming. But I honestly can't imagine doing anything else. I could see myself making money with crafts and sewing if I do take some time off work later, but I still want to be involved with social work. It's what I do and a big part of who I am.

I feel like I'm rambling so enough about work.

My mom has been here taking care of Addie for 2 weeks and everyone involved has loved it! Grammy and Grampy have loved this time Addison and I know it's been special for them. I am loving how attached Addie is to Mom and Larry. She cries when they leave and she has so much fun with them! She loves to play with their dog Sandy and gets jealous when Sandy is in Grampy's lap and she isn't (Sandy gets jealous of Addie too). It really has been an awesome few weeks. Grammy and Grampy will leave this week but will stay in Colorado until her birthday. They will be in several different mountain campgrounds enjoying Colorado.

The shoes in the pic where Addie is on the stairs were mine when I was little! Just a random bit of info.....

Webb Family Fun

2010-07-27T11:48:00.000-07:00

I have had a lot of family excitement lately. The last part of June Addie and I flew to NM to see my Mom and stepdad. The greatest part about this was that my brother Sean and his wife Ashley flew in also. We all came into El Paso and then drove up to camp in Cloudcroft NM for several days. It was wonderful! I haven't seen Sean and Ashley in 3 years and even then it was for 48 hours or less at my Mamma's funeral. The time before that was at their wedding when I met Ashley.

Sean is currently is Harding grad school getting a master's degree in church history. He is so smart and his dream is to teach at the college level. I have no doubts that he will achieve this. When he is finished with his thesis he is planning to pursue a doctoral degree as well. Ashley is a middle school art teacher from the St. Louis area. I love her art work - she is so talented!

This time together was very, very special for me. Sean and I were really close before I left for college and even while I was in college but we slowly lost touch. Part of that I think is due to some things that happened in our family and part of that is lack of communication - they don't have a phone other than for emergencies so we communicate by sporadic emails. I really hadn't even been able to get to know Ashley and I desperately wanted to. At first I was planning for Addison and I to fly to Memphis to see them so they could meet their niece. Instead we decided to all go meet at Mom's house.

Ashley LOVED Addison and Grammy and Grampy did a great job of sharing their baby time. I really enjoyed getting to know Ashley too - we have a lot more in common than I thought. She is so good for my brother and such a blessing to our family. One of the highlights of the trip was when Sean, Mom, Ashley and I played Pictionary. Sean and Mom have long had the reputation of being unbeatable. Ashley and I didn't win but we came really, really close. Then Sean and I teamed up and slaughtered Mom and Ashley - we laughed so hard my stomach hurt!

I hope that my children will grow up having a close relationship with their aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. I didn't always have that and I pray that my kids do. I want to always make an effort to make sure that our families stay connected and I am so thankful for the time we got to spend together!

A few weeks later Addie and I drove to Durango to see my sister Aletheia (Aunt Goober). She is in Albuquerque for the summer but she and her boyfriend Ryan were in Durango because Ryan was in a wedding. So Addison and I packed up and made the trek down to Durango. Addie actually did ok in the car. We had to stop to feed and her get her out of her car seat to play every few hours but overall it wasn't bad. We had a wonderful time with Goober and she was really surprised at how big Addie was and how much more stuff she could do now that she couldn't in February. I probably won't see Aletheia again until Christmas and by then Addie will be walking and maybe even talking! It was lots of fun to see her and Ryan. The girls went into town and got our pedicures one afternoon and just had a sissy/auntie afternoon. I definitely wish my family all lived closer but I love it when we do get to hang out.

More on our lives soon!

Favorite Things Update

2010-07-20T12:48:00.000-07:00

I posted a few new baby things on the other blog

lhttp://shiloh-jones.blogspot.com/2010/07/baby-stuff.html

Just FYI

I totally plan on updating the blog with things that have been going lately but I have been swamped - not neccesarily with baby stuff but with work - work has been crazy. I actually have a lot to update you on - I have several trips to see family - one of those trips was the first time I had seen my brother Sean in 3 years!
Life has also been interesting with Josh being gone for awhile off and on with his youth group stuff. I'm glad that summer is almost over.

So, I will try really hard to get to that tomorrow!

New Adventure

2010-07-06T11:06:00.000-07:00

If you know me well you know that I have a creative spirit. I love to make things. I am always looking for new ideas, inspiration etc. Another part of me is that I am always trying to save money, get deal, use a coupon, make money etc. So, after ignoring the impulse for far to long I have decided to try and merge these two instincts. The result is

A Few of My Favorite Things

My goal for this site is to showcase things I have made, prices, what is available and for people to be able to order things that they might like for themselves or for a gift. I am not expecting this to be a full blown income (although that would be great) but if I can generate a little extra money for my family that would be fabulous. So, take a look, please leave any feedback and consider placing an order. Anything that is put on there can be personalized in a variety of ways.

This may be a huge flop but I guess we will see. I am praying that it works out. Thanks for the support!

~Shiloh

Father's Day - 2 weeks late

2010-07-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

I apologize to my husband for this being so late. But, in all honesty, he has been out of town for two weeks so he probably didn't notice.

I could easily write a long mushy blog about this being Josh's first Father's Day and how special that is to us for a lot of reasons. In the interest of time (I'm at work) and for those of you who really don't want to read the long mushy blog, I will do a top ten list of reasons why Josh is a great dad.

#10. He knows how to do girl's hair already.

#9 He changes diapers, gives baths, feeds her dinner and gets her dressed.

#8 He is already protective of her. This picture is silly (the shirt says Dads Against Daughters Dating), but I know that he will continue to protect her as much as he can - from physical harm as well as emotional and spiritual harm.

#7 Josh is so good at taking pictures of her! If it was up to me there wouldn't be facebook pictures of updates to family. Josh is great at capturing the precious expressions, moments and memories with Addie.

#6 He is a youth minister. This has pros and cons - the major con being the Josh disappears frequently. But, I am excited about Addie growing up in a family involved in ministry. I want to teach her to serve others and be proud of what her Daddy does and the sacrifices he makes to help teens know and love Jesus.

#5 He loves to play with her and make her laugh! I think it is so fun to sit and watch Josh play with Addie and tickle her, fly her around the room and make her laugh. I know that he will continue to play all kinds of games with her as she grows.

#4 Family is important to him. Even when things get crazy (like right now) it's important to Josh that he stay connected to his family. I know that will be an even bigger blessing to Addie and any future kids that their Dad makes them a priority.

#3 Josh loves Addison! He has loved her from the first time he saw her and even before that. He loves to sit and hold his daughter. Sometimes I have to tell him to put her in her bed so she doesn't get used to being held while she sleeps. He loves to snuggle her in the mornings after she wakes up. He acts all goofy around her and it is so obvious that he loves her. She will always know her Daddy loves her!

#2 Josh loves me. This is important because I think children need to know that their parents are in love and that their marriage is important. I have no problem if it embarrasses Addison as she gets bigger when we kiss or hug in public or around her.

#1 He loves God. He will pray for Addison and pray with her. He read her bible stories and teach her to have her own faith. I can't think of a better legacy or example to leave to your children as a father. Loving God and following him has and will continue to enable Josh to be a great father!

Happy Belated Father's Day Joshua! I love you!

Pictures can say 1000 words - Summer so far!

2010-06-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

So far summer with Addison has been awesome! She loves the water which is perfect since Josh and I do too. The only problem is finding the time to actually go to the park and the pool....

On Saturday Addie and I will go to the Highlands Street Fair - on of my favorite Denver things - a huge street/arts and crafts fair in a really eclectic part of town. There is yummy food and concerts all day. Sunday we may get to go swimming again too. The sad part of all this is that on Saturday morning Josh leaves for two weeks of camp. We will miss him a lot! I'm slightly nervous about two weeks of single parenting but I know there are people I can call if I need anything and I will be going to see my mom and my brother Sean in the middle of that time for the weekend. Plus, Addie and I have our routine down and are used to hanging out by ourselves. Still, it's not the same without Daddy here.

Overall things are going well. I love summer and am really enjoying this time with my sweet baby!

mEye Walk 2010/Dry Bones

2010-06-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Josh and the youth group did a service project based like the mission trip last summer where they drove around and just looked for opportunities to serve. They heard about this man who was walking 1000 miles in 1000 hours - a mile at the top of every hour- to raise awareness for blindness. Lee Shayler began going blind when he was 22. He had heard a story on BBC about a man in England (where he is from) who enjoyed walking and when he went blind he decided it wouldn't keep him from walking. After being inspire by several other stories, Lee came up with a plan for this journey he recently finished. He and his wife lived in their camper in the parking lots of several parks in Highlands Ranch for the 42 days that it took to complete the 1000 miles.

Anyway, Josh and the group found out about this and decided to walk a mile with Lee. While they were walking they were able to hear a little about his story. On the second day of walking Lee injured his achilles tendon pretty badly. His wife went to Sketchers and asked what type of shoes to buy so that Lee could continue. Sketchers donated I think around 50 pairs of the shoes with the rounded soles so that Lee could keep his foot in a position to not hurt his achilles further.

He had a tread mill inside the camper that he would walk on during the night and several miles during the day. By the end of the 1000 miles (Lee finished on June 5th) he had muscle tears and spasms in his calves, tendon problems, back problems etc. He was going straight into the hospital the next day.

It was really neat for the kids because as they left the church buiding that morning they prayed for God to open their eyes to see people who needed Him and who they could serve. They irony of that prayer was not lost on them during their day. The rest of their day was spent in downtown Denver walking around looking at the areas where the homeless population lives. Dry Bones is a ministry here that our youth group gives their own money to support each month. Most of them had never actually gone downtown to see what they were supporting though. As they walked around they saw places where bars and jagged rocks were put up for apparently no other reason than to keep homeless from sleeping there, they saw places that were considered safe for these kids to go and get help.

All in all it was a pretty powerful day. Below are some links to Dry Bones and to stories about Lee's
mEye Walk. Check them out!

http://www.meyewalk.com
http://www.coloradocommunitynewspapers.com/articles/2010/05/01/lone_tree_voice/news/22_cm_blind_ltv.txt
www.drybonesdenver.org

"I'm Concussed"

2010-06-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

I should probably fill everyone in on our weekend. I debate if I would post this or not. I know that it's good to keep friends and family informed in your life so they can pray with and for you, support, help etc. But at the same time, it's also a little embarrassing or makes me self conscious so I hesitate to tell people when challenges are going on. Well, anyway....Friday night while Josh was at the grocery store I was home with Addie after day of running errands, playing in fountains etc. I was getting her ready for bed and was carrying her down the stairs to answer Josh's phone call when I tripped and fell. I don't really remember much of what happened other than feeling like I was about to fall backwards and then like I couldn't breath ( I hit my back). I knocked myself out and either slid or rolled down the stairs. I woke up at the bottom after what I guess was a few minutes and saw that Addison was ok - she was laying on my arm and then I guess I was out again.

Josh came home a few minutes later and we were lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. He later told me that I was lying on my back with my legs still partly up on the stairs. Addie was apparently lying on my arm asleep. I'm sure she probably cried when we were falling or when I was out but afterward she just snuggled up to me and went to sleep. At first Josh thought she was hurt too but when he picked her up she started laughing and playing. He put her in her high chair after checking to make sure she wasn't hurt and then woke me up. I was pretty freaked out when he woke me up and Addie was gone but he assured me she was fine. My back hurt really badly so I didn't want to move but after a few minutes I was able to sit up. Josh called Connie (the friend that watches Addison during the day) and she came over to put her to bed while Josh took me to the ER.

They did a CT scan and X-rays. Everything looked fine and they sent me home. I go to my regular doctor for a follow up this afternoon. So, I just have a concussion with loss of consciousness and a pretty sore and bruised body.

God was so in control because however I held Addison, my instincts kicked in and she is 100% ok. She was snuggled up to me asleep and then didn't cry at all and was watching Josh like a hawk to make sure that he was taking care of me.I could have been hurt a lot worse and this could have ended very differently. I'm not even sure what made me fall. I wasn't rushing and there wasn't anything on the stairs. Saturday and Sunday were pretty rough and I felt really bad. Yesterday I pushed myself to do more stuff knowing I had to go back to work and my normal routine today. I'm sore and still have a bad headache today but so far so good. I have been thanking God over and over again for watching out for us, for letting Josh come home quickly to find us, and for helping me to protect Addison. I have only walked on the stairs a few times with her since then and Josh has been behind us. I'm pretty nervous now but I know that we will be ok.

So, that's really about it. There are so fun pictures of things that have been going on but as usual, those will come later. Please pray that my body continues to heal with no complications and that my nerves calm down as well. Most of all, praise the Lord for his protection and mercy.

R- Rest

2010-05-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for rest! I have posted before about the exhaustion I've been dealing with lately. (I'm still working with my doctor to come up with something). This ordeal, along with the lack of sleep a baby brings and normal wear and tear from work/life has made me even more mindful of how vital rest is.

I am thankful for the renewal of actual sleep, I frequently long for an entire day of sleep! But, I am also thankful for the rest that things like my yoga class, a massage, going on a walk, reading and just watching tv can bring. I know that I am guilty of taking these times for granted and not utilizing them the best I can. I hope that I can learn to use the times of sleep and rest that I do have better.

I am thankful for spiritual rest. There are many verses in scripture that mention the rest we can have in God. But, I'm not sure that this means I won't be tired, I think it means more along the lines of the rest and peace that he can bring to our souls. I think it means that we don't have to worry when we go to sleep at night or constantly try to figure out the best solution, second guess things and stress about every decision. I long to fully experience God's spiritual rest. It's hard to be able to let go and release things to claim this rest. But what a powerful thing to be able to take hold of God's rest that He promises. One of my favorite prayers that I actually first heard from a dear friend, Mark Lewis, is "give us more rest than sleep". I need to pray more for God to give me rest.

“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken” (Psalm 62

I am thankful for rest. I would be thankful for more sleep or more massage appointments, but I am even more thankful for the rest that can only come from Christ.

Mother's Day and a Special Prayer

2010-05-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

My sweet baby and I in our rocking chair on my first Mother's Day!
We went to Cheesecake Factory after church and it was worth the wait. I love that place and we had a great lunch and a delicious dessert to take home for later. The weekend was pretty relaxed overall - Josh's mom (Gigi) was here so that was an extra treat as well. It was cool to be able to spend my first Mother's Day with my husband's mom. They are really close and she (I think) is a big part of the reason he is the wonderful man that he is.

So, I have you the basics about what we did on Sunday here's what was actually going through my head over the weekend....

I was feeling incredibly blessed to be a mom and to have Addison. Josh and I have gone through a lot to get to this place and it was really special. I know that Mother's Day is about thanking and honoring moms but I'm not sure I deserved much honoring this year. In some respects I feel like I've done a lot, but I know that in the grand scheme of motherhood I've done almost nothing. I was also feeling a little overwhelmed because this new mommy stuff is hard and generally pretty thankless. But really, it's not about thanks - it's about how much I love her and how I want the best for her, a commitment to raising my child to know Christ, and the reward of seeing her grow and learn. I am still learning what it means to be a mother and a mommy. I love that I have a precious brown haired, hazel eyed, sweet and playful baby that I get to learn with.

The other interesting thing about the day happened later. I was going on a walk and was praying on my walk. I was praying and thanking God for my mom and the tremendous ways our relationship has grown, my sister and some of the things that I want for her - including a better relationship with mom, Addie and all the excitement I have for our future etc. Then, I started to pray for my birth-mom. I stopped because I was kind of shocked that I even started going there - it wasn't bad, I just honestly don't remember ever praying for her before.
I kept walking and ever so carefully began to pray again. I felt like I was stepping out onto a surface that I wasn't sure would hold me. But, once I started talking I couldn't stop. I prayed for her to know God in an intimate, loving and powerful way. I prayed for her health. I prayed for her family - I don't know anything about her now :where she is, if she's married, has kids etc but I prayed for her family. I prayed that she would have peace with the decision she made 28 1/2 years ago and know that I have a family that loves me. I am not sure if God lead me there because I'm a mom now and I can have a small inkling of what it must have been like to make the decision to give up my baby or if it was just time but I am glad that He did. I don't think I have ever really been resentful or mad at my birth-mom. I have just been complacent. I was a lot more curious when I was younger but we asked for more medical history when I was in high school and were turned down I lost interest. I have thought off and on about trying to find her in the past several years but never had enough desire to follow through. I'm not sure if this is leading anywhere but it definitely softened my heart in ways I didn't know it needed to be. I'm cautiously excited to see where God is taking me now.

All in all in was an interesting, fun and memorable first Mother's Day!

Pictures

2010-05-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

I would like to write a long, witty, informative update but the bottom line is that my body is so exhausted that I think I'm close to hallucinating or uncontrollable shaking so for now pictures will have to do. Of course, all of the pictures are of Addison since that's all that you all really read this to see or hear about anyway. Really, Josh and I have at least sort of interesting lives but nothing that can't wait. One interesting fact: it snowed yesterday. Yes, yesterday on May 12th. Today it was melted but it still snowed yesterday. Colorado occasionally drives me crazy.

7 month picture attempt

2010-04-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

*The picture attempts began here with Addison falling sideways.

* We then progressed to her grabbing the paper but sitting up.

* This is the look she gave Josh when he tried to take the paper away.

* This is the last attempt when we gave up on having her sit and smile without attacking the sign. Oh well, I can just tell you she is 7 months old.

-Addie is eating all kinds of foods now and loving it. Connie has been having a bit of trouble getting her to take her bottle during the day but she still nurses just fine most of the time.

-Her ear infection seems to have really cleared up in the last week. I'm hoping we don't have more of those but since Josh and I both had a bunch of them it's likely. I wouldn't mind putting tubes in her ears if it will save us a lot of the infection drama but we'll see where it goes.

-Just in the past few days she has started scooting around and almost crawling except that she is going backwards. I don't think it will be long until she is all over the place. Josh and I went last week to get more of the safety stuff that we need to put up. Part of me is excited for her to crawl and get more mobile, part of me is not so ready since that means life with a baby is a whole new ball game.

-Addison frequently gets very calm and quiet. She seems ultra observant and likes to just sit and take it all in. I think she will be curious little girl who watches everything.

-I love seeing her smile first thing in the morning. She still wakes up usually twice a night to eat. That's ok with me. What's I'm less ok with is her waking up and 5am and not going back to sleep unless we hold her. Once Josh holds her in our bed she conks back out and will sleep until we wake her up around 7am. Any suggestions and that 5am wake up time? When we wake her up at 7am she loves to play with us while we get ready. She smiles, laughs and is so fun. It's our favorite time of day I think.

That's about it for now. A few more questions from the last week or two:

In a swing at Aunt Connie's house and Wearing her Future ACU Leadership Camps Camper Onesie

Life is like...

2010-04-22T13:47:00.000-07:00

Life is like a roller coaster. It goes up and down, makes you scream and costs a lot to ride. - Hannah Cheatem age 6

There have definitely been a lot of ups and down it seems like in the past week or so. Addie had to go back to the doctor because after a week of antibiotics her ear infection was not gone. She wasn't screaming, she just wasn't sleeping or eating well. The doctor gave her a new medication and she has been on that for a week. She seems to be doing well for the most part but still not quite 100%. I am still dealing with this ridiculous exhaustion. I think I'm honestly just adjusting to it (which I'm not sure is a good thing). It really feels like my body is just not getting any rest. To add to that, I think I'm not getting any spiritual rest and renewal either. That's a much longer story though and not one that I have the time or energy to share today.

2 weeks ago, on the same day I first found out that Addie had an ear infection, I also found out that my hours had been cut at work. It was a 10% cut. Not huge, but it's going to be tight around our house. It's kind of a long story but basically, our agency does foster care (where I am) and several types of adoptions - International, Domestic Infant, Waiting Child (adoptions from foster care), Kinship etc. International Adoptions in our agency is projected to lose about $170,000 this year. That is mostly due to the fact that countries are closing to adoptions and so applications are not coming in. We don't even work with Russia - this has been happening for a long time and there has been problems in Int'l Adoptions for a long time. The foreign countries can change laws, demand more fees and other things. 3-5 years is an average wait time to bring your child home. The application numbers and fees are down so we are losing money that way and sometimes we are ending up refunding families money.
Anyway, instead of laying people off, the agency decided to do a 10% hours cut across the board and re-evaulate in July. The hard part for my Foster Care team is that we are more work than we know what to do with now and we are being asked to increase our workloads to bring in more families and more kids, but with less hours. So, I'm stressed out and working more than I'm actually getting paid for. I still love my job and love my team. Foster care is growing right now - we just hired a new Program Director and we are going to be able to try some great new stuff, it's just challenging at the moment.

There have been some fun ups lately too. I got to see my Melanie. I took a rather lengthy detour to Cheyenne before playing Bunco on Tuesday (we were playing at a girl's house who lives pretty far north so I decided to take the afternoon off and keep going north to see Mel). It was great to see her. I can't believe that the next time I see her (hopefully soon) she will have a beautiful little daughter!

Last weekend was busy with the Ladies Tea at church. I was helping put it together so that was stressful (another "down"). My friend Michelle was able to come. I worked with Michelle's son when I was at Tennyson Center and we have remained close. It was great to see her. That evening Josh and I were able to have dinner with Addie's Grandma Joan and Grandpa Thayne. This couple has been so very special to us for several years. Thayne recently stepped down as one of the elders at University so they could have more time to travel and do other things. Joan and I have a very close relationship. Their son and daughter in law lost a baby right after Josh and I did so Joan and I formed a unique bond. We had been trying to get together for several weeks and it finally worked out. Josh tried and new steak marinade and it was delicious. I made twice baked potatoes to go with the steaks and Joan brought a great salad and dessert. Yum!

So, life is going up and down. I'm trying to enjoy the ride instead of just holding on, closing my eyes and screaming.

Q- Quallity Time

2010-04-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

I am going to finish this alphabet. I keep forgetting about it. But I will finish it!

We are now up to the letter Q. There are a surprising number of words that start with Q that I thought about using: Questions, Quirky, Quiet, but I settled on Quality time.

I think that sometimes we mistake time with people for quality time. At least for me they aren't always the same thing. I know that Josh and I can be home together all day but barely talk if we are both doing separate things in separate rooms. I find this happens in my time with God. I know He is always with me but I don't stop and just be with Him nearly as often as my heart desires to. One of the things I love about summer is that I can take more walks. That is when I do my best praying - on walks by myself, there is no cell phone or tv, no chores to do etc. I need to spend more quality time with God.

I am a so thankful for the quality time I have with Josh. Lately I have found that I have to make a conscious effort to have our breakfast dates be time together instead of planning our weeks or talking about money and other mundane stuff like that.

My quality time with Jackie Beth is via text messages and phone calls. It's amazing how a few text messages can reaffirm a 10 year friendship. We talked on Saturday for about 20 minutes and it was wonderful. Time with her is wonderful.

I've been thinking more and more about how we can have quality time with grandparents as Addie gets older. I want her, and all of her subsequent siblings, to know -really know- her grandparents. I want them to have a close relationship and not just visit on holidays or birthdays.

Quality time is so important! (I'm getting more and more excited as I write this by the way)

God, thank you for creating us to be in relationship with each other. Thank you for giving us hearts that love, hope, hurt, grieve and connect. I pray that we make it a priority to relate to each other, listen to each other, pray and love in truth.

Addie's 1st Easter

2010-04-06T13:50:00.000-07:00

We had a pretty busy weekend. On Friday we took Addison to take 6th month/Easter pictures. They were great! Then Addison and I headed up to Cheyenne to see my dear friend Melanie at her baby shower. She is having a baby girl, Julia Grace maybe any day now. Her actual due day is towards the very end of April. We had a wonderful time meeting her friends and seeing all of the gifts for Julia. I gave Melanie an ACU shirt for Julia and she absolutely loved it. Mel and I have been friends for a long time (since freshman year of college). Moving to Colorado was rough on both of us. I am so glad that Melanie first found a wonderful husband Matt, and then, after moving to Cheyenne, found a godly group of women to support and love her. Anyway, we had a great time at the shower. One of Mel's sweet friends put Addie and I up for the night so we didn't have to drive back to Denver so late. Addison was a hit and was so good even staying out late. She also loved Matt and Mel's dog Abby.

Saturday morning we woke up early and drove straight to church to go to the church Easter Egg hunt. Josh started this as a community out reach 3 years ago and it has grown every year. This year we collected, filled and hid over 2,600 eggs in the park across the street from the church. This year we had more "visitor" children than member children. The first year we did this Josh was the Easter Bunny but the past two years he was had one of the high school boys do it. Tons of fun!

Sunday morning a new friend I met at the baby shower on Friday came to church with us and one of the youth group girls was baptized - Hallelujah! That was a great start to Easter morning. Addison looked beautiful in her dress from Gigi and tried to chew on everything in her basket. She got a soft lamb, a touch and feel Peter Rabbit book and a fuzzy baby Bible book. I am amazed at how big she is getting and how much she is learning. She looked so sweet and pretty.

I'm pretty much rambling now so I should get back to work.

Words for Wednesday

2010-03-31T13:54:00.000-07:00

I get daily thought emails. Most of them I read and delete. The ones I really like go into an email folder. There have been several focused on love and marriage lately that I have really liked so I thought I would share them. By the way, I also have the best husband ever.

"A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems to short. " Andre Maurois

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." Mignon McLaughlin

"Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with the other." Rene Yasenek

" Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences and penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope." Maya Angelou

Life in my world lately

2010-03-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

Ok here we go:

* My baby turned 6 months old on Tuesday (3/23). We celebrated by having all of the youth group seniors over the house for dinner. Unfortunately there was a snowstorm and the brave ones who made it out got stuck and ended up spending the night. Josh had made a delicious brisket, potatoes, corn and rolls and we had cobbler for dessert. We played games and watched The Blind Side (my new movie). Snow sleepovers and being a youth minister's wife are so fun! I love this senior class and am really going to miss them next year. They were just little 7th graders when we came to Denver and we have all grown up together.

*At Addison's check up on Thursday she was 16 lbs, 3 oz and was 26 inches long. Wow! She did the best yet with her shots. I got to hold her while she got poked and then her Daddy got to cuddle her afterwards. Mom gets to be the bad guy. She is so, so fun right now! We like to play in bed in the mornings before we have to finally get up and go to work. She laughs, tries to grab our faces, loves to grab her toes, etc. She can roll both ways and tries so hard to crawl. She is making the sweetest babbling noises all day long. Oh, I just love it!

*Work is busy but good. We hired a new foster care director who will start the end of April. I'm excited for her to start.

*I could not be more blessed to have Connie watching Addie during the days. Really. God knew exactly what I needed.

* My mom has been really sick so add her to your prayer list. It started with what she thought was a cold that turned into a sinus infection. About 2 weeks ago she ended up in the ER with pretty bad ear pain and after the Dr. did a CT scan they discovered that her ear infection had gone into a pocket in her skull that I don't know the name of. So she has a severe inner and middle ear infections. She has been on intense meds for 2 weeks and nothing has happened. So, a doctor put a tube in her ear and apparently it fell out so they put in another one today. Hopefully this will finally help relieve the pressure and pain. Mom and Larry are currently in Austin. I guess it's good that they are in a place she lived for a long time and is familiar with while all this is going on. I told her that Addie and I may have to fly out there to take care of her. Or, maybe just take care of Larry since he is getting tired of all the cooking and cleaning....

*I am trying to figure out a way to meet up with my mom when she is in Tennesse to see my brother Sean. That way the last sibling can meet Addison. The problem is Sean is in grad school and his wife Ashley is a teacher and doesn't get out until June. I guess we will see if it works out or not.

*And lastly, I am exhausted. I am actually going to my doctor on Thursday because something doesn't feel right - like this is beyond tired. I described it to Josh as feeling like I am drugged all the time. It's not a good feeling. I'm getting enough sleep, eating right, still exercising etc but I am just pooped. There have been a few night that I wake up to feed Addie and honestly have no idea what is happening or what I should be doing. I could just be wimpy but I have a feeling that something is going on and it's beyond just mommy exhaustion. Anyway, my appointment is Thursday.

I will end with one of my favorite quote that I have above my desk:
"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. "

— Thornton Wilder

James 3:9

2010-03-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

James 3:9 "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness."

I have heard and read a lot of this lately. I am guilty of it too, don't get me wrong. But I have really noticed it recently. This health care debate has everyone on both sides of the issue up in arms. Whether you agree or disagree doesn't really matter to me. We were all given brains and free will and are entitled to our own opinions. But, I get frustrated when I hear things like "Our nation is ruined", "We have failed our Christian calling" or "The only people who are for this plan want to destroy our country.". There are also negative and hurtful things being said on the other side of the issue. I am tired of hearing people who profess to be Christians dragging people through the mud just because they don't believe in the same things. People are being spit on, cursed at, hit with signs and threatened. What about that is Christ-like?

Jesus was not a Republican or a Democrat. Christians don't have to have a certain political affiliation, they just need to love, serve and commit to Christ. Health care is not (in my opinion) a salvation issue. People are not going to heaven or hell based on if they think government run health care is a good idea. I have had life long health issues. For me, I am thankful that my husband will never have to decided to take or reject a job based on if they have a group plan. I am thankful that my little sister (who is somewhat irresponsible at times) can stay on my parents' plan to receive care if she gets sick. I know its bad for some people but it's not the downfall of America.

I work in an environment that is not very immersed with Christians. All of this debating and negativity has not done anything to encourage people to turn towards Christ. If we profess to be Christ-followers we need to show it with our words and actions! Please prayerful consider your facebook statuses, words, emails, actions etc. Be aware of what image you are portraying and who we are representing.

P-Pictures

2010-03-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

I have been putting off doing this post because I had a great idea. I really wanted to scan some of my favorite pictures from various times in my life and share them. But, that obviously didn't happen. I know where the pictures are but never could find the time to go through and pull them out the ones I wanted, then I would have to go use someone's scanner etc. It just seemed like a lot of work for one blog post.

The purpose of this alphabet that I have been doing off and on (and maybe will eventually finish) is not just things that I like, but things that I am thankful for. I have always loved pictures. I am so thankful that I am able to look back at other times in my life - my baby pictures, family portraits, being silly with my siblings, my pooh bear, my pets, grade school friends,family vacations, Christmases, youth group times, camps and retreats, Africa, wonderful college memories, pictures when Josh and I were dating or engaged, wedding pictures, pregnancy pictures and now pictures with Addison. I am thankful for all of those experiences and thankful that I am able to continually look at at them and enjoy the memories. I am also thankful for all the new pictures and memories I will have in the future.

So, you don't get to see some of my favorite old pictures - maybe I will find some time someday because I really would like to post some- but, I will share some recent pictures of Addie (which you are all probably more interested in anyway).

*Daddy got her this shirt on one of his trips.

*She only stayed standing like for about about 3 seconds....

Favorite Things Friday - Cookbooks

2010-03-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

Today's theme is cookbooks. I don't use a ton of cookbooks most of the time. I mostly use recipes I have written down or printed off that I keep in a box on my counter. Most of the time if I need dinner quick the things in the cookbooks are too complicated, take to long or require ingredients I don't have on hand. But they all sound yummy so I probably should use some of my million cookbooks more.

I have a few basic favorites - first is Better Homes and Garden's Cook Books. This is a classic. It has everything in it. It's nothing fancy typically but it's things that real people make on a daily basis.

The second is one that Josh had in his bachelor days that I have loved. It's called the 4 Ingredient Cookbook. Everything in it has 4 ingredients and there is a whole section that is all lowfat recipes. There are sections for appetizers, salads, veggies, main dishes, breads, desserts etc. Some things have one ingredient that is ready made like a boxed cake mix for a dessert. It is easy and most of the things are really yummy, although some just sound like gross bachelor food- think bacon and cheese wrapped hotdogs.

I have several Rachel Ray cookbooks that I like when I take the time to use them. I also have some small $1.00 cookbooks that are breads and pasteries that are really, really awesome that I got at JoAnn fabrics.

I'm excited to see what other people's favorites are!

P.S. - Ashley, I like the theme's but I know it's work for you....I can help out coming up with them if you want, or we can take a break for awhile.

Favorite Things Friday - Health and Fitness

2010-03-11T20:07:00.000-08:00

I am excited about this week's topic. I LOVE to work out. It's not really about being a certain size, it's about feeling good, being strong, being healthy, and being in shape.

My 1st favorite thing is water. Everyone should love this and drink lots of it.

Another thing that I love is my foam roller. I use this especially on my outer thighs and back. It feels like a hard massage and is great after a good work out. It's also a great tool for balance or core work.

My yoga mat is always in my car. I love it. Yoga is not for weaklings - at least not my class. It's hard. I sweat. But, it's awesome and it feels so good to rest and relax at the end.

One more work out favorite - weights - these make my muscles feel so strong and really you don't get bulky unless you try, just toned.

I have lots of other health and fitness favorites but we'll stop there for now.

Have a great weekend!

Happy Birthday Mom!

2010-03-10T12:03:00.000-08:00

Today is my mom's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is. I mailed her package yesterday but she won't get it for a few days when she gets to Austin.

I am appreciating my mom and our relationship more and more the older I get. We talk not just because we have to, but because we want to. I enjoy spending time with her and I love to see her with my little girl. Mom always made our birthday's special when we were growing up and I like to try to do that for her now.

Happy Birthday Momma - Can't wait to see you again!

Irritation

2010-03-09T13:11:00.000-08:00

Just needed to share an irritating situation. If you don't like reading about breastfeeding or pumping - stop reading now.

So, I was actually given a pump before Addie was born and it worked great until 2 weeks ago when all of a sudden the motor slowed down drastically and it lost suction. So, I was faced with having to buy a new one since she is only 5 months old. I wanted to buy the same kind I had but didn't want to spend the money (my old one wasn't under warranty anymore). So, I had read some good reviews about a miPump by First Years and it was only about $90 for a double electric so I decided to buy it. Another draw was that I could get it right away instead of ordering and waiting. There are some good points about it but....

I am now thinking this was a bad decision and I am frustrated. It works ok but it is a little more painful than the old one and I'm already having problems. Twice in the last week the milk has backed up into the tubing and the pump itself. I NEVER had this problem with my old Lansinoh pump. It also takes longer to get less milk. I don't want go buy the replacement I should have gotten a few weeks ago because that is spending another hundred dollars or so (at least) that I don't really just have lying around. Plus, even though Addison is almost 6 months old I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to keep pumping/breastfeeding etc. How long does this typically last? She is eating cereal usually twice a day. I want to pump because I don't want to lose my milk supply (that has already dipped lately) because she is still taking bottles but in all honesty I have no idea what to do.

Just needed to vent. Any advice regarding pumps, how long to breastfeed, cereal feeding, etc is appreciated.

Update

2010-03-06T09:40:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update...

Addie is 5 months old and recently rolled from her back to her tummy (neither Josh or I have seen it yet though). She is talking up a storm and has such a sweet disposition. I constantly get compliments on what a well tempered baby she is - I don't think that has anything to do with me though. I am loving all the new things that she is learning. She brings so much joy to Josh and I.

2 weeks ago Addison and I flew to see my mom, step-dad and sister in Las Cruces. This is the first time that Aletheia (Ant Goober) had met Addie. We also got to spend some time with Aletheia's boyfriend Ryan. It was a great trip. I hadn't seen my sister in almost a year and that is way to long. Now I just have one more brother who needs to meet Addison - hopefully that can happen in May.

Here are a bunch of pictures. Enjoy!

Josh's shirt says "dads against daughters dating"

Shopping with the girls

Napping with Grampy

Drinking Grammy's Starbucks

Playing with Sandy

Meeting Grandmama (my mom's mom)

4 Generations on my side

This weekend Josh's mom (Gigi) is here for a quick visit while Gramps is umpiring baseball tournaments.
We will have pictures of that soon!

Unsafe!

2010-03-03T11:55:00.000-08:00

The theme of Winter Peak this year was Unsafe. My dear friend Casey McCollum was the speaker and he did a great job bring this message to the teens. It was a theme that I was very personally excited about and something that I have always been passionate about.

The basic idea was that God does not call us to be safe or comfortable. In fact, it's the opposite. Casey talked about that every bible should come with a warning label that says "Can be dangerous if followed". He used Purell hand sanitizer as a great object lesson and visual by squirting it in a bible and saying that too often we sanitize the Word to make it safe or more comfortable to follow. Instead of "love your enemies" we may sanitize it to "don't hate your enemies"; instead of "flee from immorality" we sanitize it to be more like "stay away from the really bad stuff". If we truly follow the bible we WILL experience loss. We may not be persecuted or lose our lives for our faith like some of the characters we looked at over the weekend, BUT, we may lose our reputation or our friends. God's calling is one that is drastically different from the world.

Another topic that seemed to really resonate with the teens and adults was that we need to be Kingdom-Followers not just Church-Goers. (Hopefully I will be quoting Casey Pate correctly here) Church -Goers worry about the world changing the church. Kingdom-Followers go out to change the world. We need to stop staying in our safe, comfortable buildings and be out in our communities and our world loving people for Christ.

I was convicted of a few things - first that too often I am not the kind of light that I should be in my office. The second is that I know God has given me a passion and love for things unsafe (unsafe things of faith and unsafe things like rock climbing). I frequently get ideas that I really believe are from the Spirit of how to share the word etc but I'm not always great at following through. I want to be consistent. I want to actually do the things that I feel God pricking my heart to do. I have a few things that I am currently praying about that wrestling with. Hopefully I will be able to share them soon!

It was a great weekend overall. Tonight in the youth group class we will be talking about the ideas we came up with of what the University Church of Christ youth group needs to do and deciding on some things that the group can actually DO instead of just talk about. Pray that our teens and all of the teens and adults who went to Winter Peak will not forget what they heard but will continue to grow in courage and faith as they live a life that is Unsafe for Christ.

2 Years

2010-03-01T10:34:00.000-08:00

I was on the Winter Peak (Colorado Area-wide retreat) with Josh this weekend. It was a great weekend and I will try to write more about that later.

This is the retreat the 2 years ago (yesterday actually) Josh and my friend Melanie had to leave because I was in the hospital after about to have emergency surgery after finding out we lost another baby - this time due to an ectopic pregnancy. The past two years have been full of peaks and valleys - some of those valleys being in very dark places. But, this year I was at the retreat with a sweet, beautiful baby girl. Wow! God truly is faithful. During the weekend I had several things running though my head - a song and then a psalm.

"Well, everyone needs compassion

A love that's never failing, let mercy fall on me

Well, everyone needs forgiveness

The kindness of a Savior, the hope of nations

Savior, He can move the mountains

For my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save

Forever, author of Salvation

Where He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me

All my fears and failures, fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in, and now I surrender, I surrender

Savior, He can move the mountains

My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save

Forever, author of Salvation

He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave"

****************************************************

"How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,

for he has been good to me." Psalm 13

Favorite Things Friday - Senses

2010-02-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

See - I love to see Addie's sweet smiles and watch Josh play with her in bed each morning. I also love to see beautiful mountains as I drive to work every day. (I have a great picture but it's on my home computer and I'm at work).

Smell - I have always loved smells. Right now some of my favorites are Addie's lotion (Johnson's Bedtime), the way Josh smells when he gets out of the shower, flowers, and one of my new favorite perfumes that my stepmom gave me - In Bloom.

Touch - It is interesting that this is what the theme is for this week. Lately I have noticed that I have loved the way my sheets feel when I first get into bed at night - they are soft and flannel and cool. It feels especially good when I have just put lotion on. It just feels relaxing. When I but clothes it's great that they look good but they also have to feel good.

Taste - Fruit, inventive food combos, wine and Chocolate. I love all of these things.

Hear - I LOVE to hear Addie's laugh. It is more like a weird sounding cackle but I love it. I cannot wait to hear what her voice will sound like. I love her sweet coos and noises she makes. It's awesome.

O-Other things

2010-02-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

I couldn't come up with anything else for O so I decided to use the letter to write about some things that I didn't for previous letters.

A- Adventure - I am thankful for the adventurous spirit that God has given me. I love to climb rocks, swim, hike, backpack etc. I have a huge list of stuff I want to do including hang gliding, scuba diving, sky diving, dirt biking and others. I have flown an airplane, ridden in an ultra-lite plane (basically a motorcycle with wings), snorkeled, and other fun stuff. I don't want to be unsafe but I am grateful for the thirst for life and adventure that God has given me.

C - Cards - One of the things I love to do is make cards. It is expensive at times to buy the supplies but cheaper in the long run. I also think that it is so much more meaningful to not only get a card that was made just for you but to be able to make a card specifically for someone. I am thankful that I have the money to be able to do this. I am thankful that I have a husband who supports this habit and encourages me to make things to de-stress and thinks they are beautiful. I am thankful that I have a great space in my house just for my craft stuff. I love it!

M- Missions - I debated about making this A for Africa but I decided that in the end, while I love Africa, it's not just Africa. I grew up with a heart for missions and have wanted to be a missionary since I was about 8. I married a youth minister so that passion and dream have changed a little but the fire is still there. I also strongly believe that you should not go overseas to teach people if you aren't doing it where you live first. Before sending me on one of my trips to Africa the head of Westover Hills' Missions Committee asked me what I was doing currently to spread the gospel because if I wasn't doing it now then I wouldn't really do it there. Missions, all kinds of missions, and service is something that gets me excited. It's a huge part of me and I love to share it with others. I am thankful that God has given me the opportunity to experience trips to other parts of the world to share His love and I am thankful that He continues to teach me how to do that in my daily life.

E-Exercise - I love, love, love to work out. It's not like I have to wear a size 4 (which I don't think I ever have in my life) or weight a certain amount. It's about feeling good, being strong, pushing myself, being healthy and a positive self esteem. I admit, I like when I am in shape and my skinny jeans fit. But, I also like the way I feel after a hard work out, an intense yoga class or a long hike. I like pushing my muscles to do more. I have noticed huge improvements in my asthma since I started doing yoga regularly. I am not super skinny. My stomach is way more flabby than I like. My arms jiggle more than I am comfortable with. But, I know that I am also strong. I know that I am flexible and have good muscle tone. I am so thankful that God has given me the physical strength and ability to be able to exercise my body. I am thankful that he has given me the passion for sports and activity. I am thankful for the lessons that it has taught me. I hope that I am able to pass this on to my daughter. I don't want her to criticize the way she looks or want to be as thin as a model but I want her to take pride in her body and desire to be healthy.

So, that's it I guess. There are probably more things but I don't want this to be forever long!

In the Bag -

2010-02-09T12:29:00.000-08:00

I haven't participated in all of Cassie's baby series blogs but I had a few minutes at work and thought I would do this one. The topic was what to bring to the hospital. For the most part I liked what people have said so far (see McLinkey's for other posts).

For Mommy:

*Comfy nursing bras or looser sports bras. I didn't like not having a bra on because of "leaking" and it just kinda hurt. The nursing tanks from Target are AWESOME.

*Lotion that smells good (I used some from Avon). I used the Orange Ginger Aromatherapy lotion from Bath&Body Works. It made me at least smell clean and relaxed me in labor when Josh rubbed it on my hands and neck.

*Comfy, soft pjs - I got the same Old Navy matching pjs that Ashley had. I also had my mom bring me a pair of old work out shorts that were loose and that I didn't care if they were messed up. Don't bring anything you would be sad if it got stained. I also had a soft robe that was great.

*My ipod. I made a "Shiloh's Labor List". I didn't even have time to listen to it while I was in labor except in the car on the way there but it would have been good.

*Things that hospital gave me that a necessity - Lanolin cream of breast feeding, Tucks pads, Dermoplast spray, the weird net underwear (some people hate them, I loved them), drugs.

Things for Baby:

*I only brought a nice going home outfit and a few onesies. I used mainly the hospital clothes while we were there. They got messy and icky and I didn't want any of the cute stuff I bought or was given to get stained right away.

*A hat was important but I didn't even think about bringing my own. It was probably good anyway because Addison was small so nothing really fit her.

*A baby book to put footprints in.

*A special blanket.

I have to get back to work or else I would keep going.
* On a totally random note: How can I change my font color or style on the blog?

4 Months Already?

2010-02-04T11:37:00.000-08:00

By now it's almost 4 1/2 and I still can't believe Addie is that old. It feels like I have had her longer than that but I am amazed at how much she has grown in such a short time.

Some of the things Addison is doing now:
-occasionally rolling from her stomach to her back
-laughing and actually making noise when she does
-staying awake longer
-take naps about the same time every day
-sleeping about 6 hours at the beginning of the night and then 3 or 4 after that
-recognizing our voices - or at least reacting more
-smiling when she sees Josh and I, especially right when she wakes up
-losing more and more hair (this makes me sad)
-wearing mostly 3-6 month clothes (some are still too big)
-she LOVES her bouncer and anything that lights up
-sleeping in her crib and sometimes falling asleep there on her own at night

Last Sunday night I was feeding her and looked down and was just totally overcome with how much I love this little girl. I am so excited that I will get to know her more and more. I am curious about what things she will like, what her voice will sound like, what her personality will be etc. I also don't want to be too anxious and miss this stage. She is just such a blessing to Josh and I.

The Bachelor

2010-02-02T11:46:00.000-08:00

I am not a big fan of reality TV overall. I will watch it occasionally and might get into it but nothing like I HAVE TO watch it each week. The exception is The Bachelor. I can't wait for Monday nights.

I kind of want to be on the the show - not to "find love" because I have already found the love of my life, but the experience of visiting amazing places, going on absolutely incredible dates, wearing beautiful clothes etc. As I was watching it last night I was thinking that a lot of those girls are everything that I'm not but occasionally wish I was- first of all they are younger than me but look older, the always have on makeup and look put together. Sometimes I would like to be that "high maintenance" but in all honesty I would rather wear jeans or yoga pants and have my hair in a pony tail. I am drawn to that kind of glamorous life style but when I really think about it I realize I probably wouldn't be happy. I have a wonderful husband that I love - he may not be a model, make tons of money, or be able to take me to castle and a vineyard on a date but he is faithful, sweet, encouraging, funny and mine. Having a closet full of designer clothes and going around the world sounds exciting but it wouldn't take the place of cuddling on the couch with Josh and my sweet baby. I didn't have to go on a tv show to get a chance at true love - instead I worked at ACU Leadership Camps. So, even though I am totally into this show and sometimes wish for that glamour, I wouldn't trade what I have for anything.

I would take roses though.....

Favorite Things Friday - Craft

2010-01-29T15:24:00.001-08:00

This week's theme is Craft Stuff. If you know me well, you know this will be a challenge! Here we go:

Fiskars Paper Cutter - I use this constantly because I cannot cut a straight line to save my life sometimes. It has a cutting blade and a scoring blade.

Embossing heat tool, versamark pad and embossing powders - embossing stuff is one of the easiest ways to improve cards. I can also use this to stamp on dishes, tiles etc or decorate candles. Instead of pics of the tools I put pics of finished products of stuff I have made.

Refillable Adhesives - these are so super easy to use and great for so many things!

Blank cards- these are a staple in my house!

and finally anything from Stampin' Up! I love this company. I get all my stamps, ink pads and a lot of the papers here. Go look at the catalog on line www.stampinup.com - it's addictive and I want it all! I just put a pic of my new favorite stamp set.

Life lately

2010-01-28T12:34:00.000-08:00

This is what life the past few days has consisted of:

POOP - Tuesday and Wednesday were full of poop explosions. On Tuesday Addison went through 4 outfits while Josh and I were at work. Then, Wednesday morning I was feeding her in bed and all of a sudden it was all over me and her. Josh was covered when he picked her up to go change her. We had to wash sheets, mattress cover, blankets, clothes, etc. Awesome
BUT I can deal with poop, spit up and anything else since that's the stuff that comes with finally being a mom.

GRAD SCHOOL- I went to a meeting on Tuesday with a grad school advisor. I am looking at a Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy program that would mean classes every other weekend and some stuff on line in between. It's a decent price, good schedule and I could be done in a year. However, I'm still on the fence and I think Josh is even more uncertain then I am. I really want to be able to do this and eventually go into private practice to work with kids and families. I also don't want to completely overwhelm myself. I've been really struggling to weigh the pros and cons. I think that if I don't do it now then it may be a long while before I am able to again.
BUT I trust that God has a plan and has given me this passion for social work to help accomplish that plan. We will see where it goes I guess.

MONEY- We have been dealing with some finance and tax issues the last few weeks. Apparently minister's taxes are really hard to do correctly and (once again) Josh's salary was messed up which is now messing up taxes and finances for 2010. I won't bore you with the details. I can honestly say that money problems stress me out possibly more than anything else - especially when, in this situation, there isn't much I can do about it. I had thought we were on a really good track until this new development came to light.
BUT, I know that, as in all things, God will provide. I don't need to have my weekly Starbucks or eat out with a friend once a month. I don't want money to diminish my joy or cause stress.

FAMILY - My sister has still not been able to meet her niece. This frustrated me because Aletheia and I are so close. There are a lot of reasons why this hasn't happen. I had been working on planning a trip to Las Cruces when my mom will be there to so I can finally see Aletheia but it may not work out. I miss my family and being apart is hard.
BUT, whether it happens now or not, I know she will meet Addie eventually. I also know that even though we are far away from all of our family we are loved and prayed for daily.

and last but not least - CLUTTER - My house is ridiculously cluttered, my brain is cluttered, my desk at work is cluttered, my car is cluttered. I have yet to get a handle on keeping things relatively organized while still sleeping, showering, working, cooking, going to the gym and taking care of Addison. There is a lot of my plate and there are things that I can put to the side but it's hard. I feel like many times my environment is a reflection of how I'm feeling - if my house is a mess it stresses me out, when things are clean (clean not spotless and perfect - that may never happen)I feel better. I won't give up working out unless absolutely necessary - it keeps me sane. I shouldn't give up showering, cooking or working. I can't give up taking care of Addie (and wouldn't want to). So, it seems that organization may be what has to go.
BUT I can try my best to be ok with that. Josh is a great helper and really, in the long run it's about people anyway. There is a page from a magazine on my fridge that I found at Christmas time - it says "Make the holidays about being with your baby, not about getting stuff done;" It's after the holidays but I've kept it up there as a reminder of priorities.

More updates and hopefully pictures soon.

Baby Registry

2010-01-27T10:08:00.000-08:00

My friend Cassie started having people post about baby registry items that are essential so I thought I would join in.

Several people have already mentioned some of my favorites but I'll go ahead and say them again:

Boppy Pillow

I love this thing. It's so much more comfortable when nursing Addie. It's great to prop her up on her back or on her tummy. Josh likes it too because when he was holding Addie and sleeping in a recliner at night it helped his arm and shoulder not cramp up.

Johnson & Johnson Bedtime Bath and Lotion

I LOVE the way this stuff smells. It's also gentle and soft on Addie's skin.

Velcro swaddle blankets -
Didn't get a picture because there really isn't one kind that I like better so far. They are great though because the little girl can't wiggle her way out of it as easily.

Swing and Bouncer -

I've used the swing since Addison was born and it's great to help her go to sleep. I also got this one that is marketed as a "take along" swing. We took it to Texas for Christmas and it was great. I recently got a bouncer off of Craigslist and it was the best $30 I have ever spent! Addison loves that the lights and sounds come up when she jumps. So she jumps, laughs, waits for the music to stop and then starts all over. This is a life saver when I need to cook dinner, do dishes etc.

Other people have also added things that they don't recommend registering for. I agree that I don't think I need a wipes warmer. I also didn't register for a shopping cart cover. I may cave and go buy one later but it seemed like an extra expense and I'm not that much of a germ freak - I just wipe the cart down. Don't register for clothes or even blankets unless there are a few that you really want to go with the bedding etc. I also agree that while it's hard, go for gender neutral colors for big purchases - stroller, swing, car seat, high chair, rocking chair etc. I guess you could always buy new stuff but I know that I won't have enough money to do that...

On a side note - my mom and I made my sling instead of buying on. I could make it bigger so it fits better. I also got to chose whatever fabrics I wanted. I love it! If anyone is interested in having me make one just send me an email or comment...
Here's a picture of it - not that great though. It's is brown polka dots on one side and red and cream pattern on the other. There is padding for Addies legs when she can sit up more.

Trusting God

2010-01-25T12:49:00.000-08:00

While I was driving last week I saw a church sign that said "When all else fails, Trust God." I think that is dumb. It shouldn't be "when all else fails" it should be first and continuously. Too often we go to prayer and faith as the last resort when things are hard. Just like your best friend, or spouse or parent doesn't want to be the last person you go to for help and support, God doesn't want that either. I think he is yearning for us to go to him first in all things - big or small. I don't want trust and prayer to be my "when all else fails" solution.

Just a thought.

Haiti update and "N"

2010-01-21T11:48:00.000-08:00

First a Haiti update:
We have been able to finalize all the Haiti adoptions that were in process. We have also been able to have other kids go home- some families wanting to adopt one child ended up with two and some families who were waiting on referrals from other countries switched to Haiti. God is really working right now!

For the Alphabet continuation:

N- Neurology

I can't remember if I have blogged about this before or not. Some of you probably know this story already anyway.

When I was 15 - just after my freshman year in high school I went to Zimbabwe with my friend Danny Reese and his family who lived there as missionaries with World Bible School. I had wanted to go to Africa to do mission work since I was about 8 years old. My mom and dad were both going with us so my siblings all stayed at friends' houses for 2 weeks. My parents met in Scotland on separate mission teams. They stayed at worked at a church in Edinburgh for several years so on the way to Zimbabwe my parents and I stopped in Scotland to visit for a few days. Then we went on to Africa for several weeks.

We had an incredible trip. I sat and studied with people just hearing about Christ, encouraged Christians who may have been the only believers in their village, spend lots of time in prayer, praise and fellowship. I also got to visit Victoria Falls, climb rocks in Matobos, see all kinds of animals (elephants, zebras, buffalo, cheetahs and lions) free in game parks and other adventures. It was a great experience. I tell people that once you go to Africa it becomes a part of you - the land, the people - they all made a lasting impression on my heart. I still yearn to go back!

My parents and I were leaving a few weeks before the Reese family. We were flying from South Africa to Zurich, Switzerland and then on to Chicago before finally getting back to Texas. I started to feel sick on the flight to Switzerland. During our layover I didn't do anything but sleep. Almost as soon as we got on the plane to fly to Chicago I started throwing up. I think I used almost every barf bag on the 747. I had a high fever, my head and neck were killing me and I couldn't keep anything in my stomach for the whole 7 hour flight. There was a doctor on board from the Mayo clinic who suspected meningitis. When we landed in Chicago an ambulance met us on the runway and took me off on a stretcher to go straight to the hospital. They even quarantined the rest of the plane! In the ER they did a spinal tap and then MRI/CT scans and all sorts of infectious disease tests since I was in Africa. All of this revealed nothing but a small sinus infection. I later heard that the doctors told my parents to let me talk to my siblings because if they couldn't figure out what was wrong I might not make it. I cannot even imagine how terrifying this was for my parents to be in a strange city with a very sick child.

After about a week I was stable enough to fly home to Austin where I was immediately put back into the hospital there. I missed the first 8 weeks of my sophomore year of high school because I was in and out of the hospital, still with no definite diagnosis of any sort or any treatments that seemed to help. At this point, the problem was that I would have headaches so bad that I had to be lying flat or else I would pass out or throw up. At times the pain was worse than having my baby! The only test that ever came back even remotely positive was one for the Epstein Bar Virus which is a form of mono. The conclusion was that I contracted some sort of virus while in Africa that made me sick and the headaches were a result of that. It was diagnosed as Occipital Neuralgia migraines by default.

The next several years were a series of spinal taps, MRIs, ER trips, hundreds of lab tests, over 50 different medications and lots of doctor visits. I even went to a special clinic in Houston for a week.

Long story short, while these headaches have gotten better it is still a struggle. You might be thinking "so why is this in a alphabet of things you are thankful for?" Even when I was first in the hospital in Chicago, I was remembering the lessons about Hope that I had just heard at Kadesh. I decided that whatever happened, I would go to heaven and that God was in control. I have learned a lot from this trial. I have prayed and prayed for this illness to be taken away and came to the conclusion that God may not heal my body but He has healed my spirit. I am who I am in part because of this challenge. I have gone back to Africa twice since this incident and would go again in a heartbeat. I love to read Paul's statement about his thorn in the flesh - God's power is made perfect in our weakness and I have definitely been weak. Another verse that I clung to was "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Cor. 4:17 One of the things I have prayed and continue to pray is that God will use me and this experience to be able to share things about Him and plant those seeds. I have seen some of that already in my life and am excited to see what else God will do.

Thank you to those of you who read this ridiculously long post.

Haiti adoptions

2010-01-20T11:00:00.000-08:00

My agency has several families that were in the process of adopting children in Haiti when the earthquake hit. The orphanage where the kids were was damaged but the biggest problem is that they don't have clean water. Some of my co-workers flew to Pittsburgh yesterday to meet a plan of children that have been evacuated from the orphanage. Several of these kids who had already been matched with adoptive families have been on the news. Below is a link to the story - 5 of the 6 kids are being adopted through our agency.

Here is the link:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2010/01/17/tuchman.haiti.orphans.cnn?hpt=C2

There were over 10,000 orphans in Port-Au-Prince alone before the earthquake! I've been hearing a lot of work each day about not only this tragedy but how it directly affects people I work with and our clients. One of my co-workers has an adopted daughter from Haiti who is eleven. She has been unable to get in touch with any of her relatives.

I know that everyone has been in prayer about this situation and please continue to do so. I have been reminded over and over again the last few days of how blessed I am to have a home, clothing, clean water, a healthy child, medication and so many other things. I did not do anything to earn these blessings. I am not any more deserving because I live in the United States. My prayer is that people will come together to help and that Christians can be a reflection of Christ's love in this time.

If you are interested in how to help some of these children directly let me know.

Favorite Things Friday

2010-01-15T12:50:00.000-08:00

The theme this week is Bath and Beauty Products -

Sanitas Topical C lotion.
This stuff is awesome for dry skin. I use a tiny, tiny amount at bedtime. It is also great for cuts and burns.

Burts Bees Chapstick -
Addictive and awesome!

Olay Daily Facial Wipes -
These are great on trips or when I just feel a little dirty. They don't my face out and they smell good. I am all about simple so anything that is one step and easy works for me.

M- Moms

2010-01-14T12:09:00.000-08:00

I haven't done another alphabet post in awhile so I thought that I should.

M is for Mom.

This is kind of a two-fold post. The first part is about my mom. I love her! I have always loved her but we DID NOT get along when I was in high school. I was stubborn and rude. Mom had to be right and is just as stubborn as I am. It would be an understatement to say it high school was a very tumultuous time. But, even through all of the arguments and frustrations I looked up to my mom and her dedication to my siblings and I and helping other people. I am a lot like her - I got a degree in social work like her, I have a sense of adventure and fearlessness like her, I like sewing and cooking like her etc. etc. etc. My mom and I struggled again in our relationship after my parents divorced while I was in college. It took me awhile to be able to forgive and look beyond myself and see things from my parent's perspective.

Now we have the type of relationship that is honest and open. I can say just about anything to my mom. I also know that she will always be there for me. When I had my first miscarriage I called her in the middle of the night and she left the next morning to drive to Denver to be with me. Recently my mom came to spend a week with me while Josh was in St. Louis at a conference. She is just in love with Addison and had a great week taking care of her even though she was sick.

The second part of M for Mom is about me now being a mom. In some ways this adventure was been way, way harder than I thought. But it is also much more wonderful than I could have imagined. I love watching Addison while she sleeps, feeling her little hands touch me while she eats, seeing her learn new things, getting her dressed, giving her baths, singing to her, praying with and for her, day dreaming about when she gets older and so many other things. I am excited to braid her hair, talk to her about boys, pick out a prom dress, have mom and daughter days, go on vacations and just be not only her mom, but hopefully her friend also. This is such an exciting time! Right before she was born someone told me that no matter what, I am the perfect mom for her- not a perfect mom, but the mom that God had in store for Addie. I have already been blessed by being a mom to Addison and I know I will continue to be blessed each day.

I play ball like a girl

2010-01-12T09:01:00.001-08:00

This is the third (maybe forth) year that I have played Fantasy Football Pick 'Em. Basically instead of having a team and setting line ups, each week I pick the winners of all the games and choice a number of confidence points. I get the points for each game that I get right. Josh heads up a league with his dad, other youth ministers and friends. I have been the only girl since I started until this year when my sister-in-law Lauren played too.

Last year I ended I think in 4th place but....THIS YEAR I WON IT ALL! I was so proud of myself, not only for winning, but for winning the season that I was pregnant, had a baby, was sleep deprived AND that I beat a bunch of guys who love football.

In other exciting news: Josh got up to help me when Addison woke up screaming because she was hungry (you would have thought we were starving her). So, I run into her room, Josh wakes up and follows me but after a few minutes I told him to go back to bed. He walked out of her room and into ours and then I hear a loud scream followed by sounds of him in pain. I get up (while still trying to feed Addie so she doesn't cry) to go see if he is ok. Josh is on the floor after hitting his toe on our wooden bed. It's probably broken. He tells me to go keep feeding Addie and put her to bed because I can't really help him with her attached anyway. Josh goes to get an ice pack from the kitchen and ends up trailing blood through the house. Eventually his toe was bandaged and we are all back in bed asleep. It didn't help that Addison has gone back to not sleeping more than 4 hours at a time when for several weeks she was sleeping at least 6. Needless to say, we are all pretty tired today.

Our house is also a total disaster and driving me crazy. Last week a sweet friend gave me 12 boxes of baby and toddler clothes which I went through and sorted. I have boxes all over the living room that need to be taken somewhere else or put away in Addie's room. Josh leaves on Thursday to take his SALT (Servant Action Leadership Team) kids to Arlington for the Winterfest youth rally. Connie (who watches Addie while we work) is going with him so I have Addie all to my self for 4 1/2 days. I'm a little nervous about that since I'm already stressed and tired. I'm sure we will make it even if nothing else that I need to do gets done. It may also help that Addison is getting better at playing on her own, unfortunately she doesn't nap as often.

Other than the chaos that is pretty normal, life is going well. Sorry this post was so scattered. I'm at work and trying to do too many things at once!

Proud to be a Longhorn

2010-01-09T08:18:00.000-08:00

Thursday night was bittersweet. The Texas Longhorns lost the National Championship to Alabama 37-21. The loss was frustrating for all Longhorn fans. It was even more so because Colt McCoy was injured in the first few minutes of the game. The last report I read said that he had a sprained shoulder and possibly a pinched nerve and that it was Coach Brown's choice not to put him back in the game. So,a true freshman QB went in to play and did better than I expected.

As hard as it must have been for Colt not to play in the National Championship and the last game of his record-setting college career - this is where the sweet part comes in. HE STILL GAVE GLORY TO GOD! In an emotional interview Colt said that he was still "standing on the rock". My first reactions was that this is an incredible witness to his teammates, the Alabama team, coaches, friends and anyone watching. It's easy to praise God when you win the game or win the award or get what you want. It's much harder to praise Him in the storm but that's what Colt did. I'm not saying he is perfect. But I was proud to be a longhorn fan and proud to be a christian.

I saw several facebook status' about this. One that was my favorite said "it's ok. He is second." If you haven't seen the video on yotube with Colt and Sam Bradford you shoud watch it! I don't know if any of Colt and Jordan Shipley's teammates have come to know Christ through them. But, my prayer that night was the God heals their emotional and physical wounds, that He grows the seeds they have planted with their outspoken love for Christ. I saw another facebook status from a family at Westover Hills (where I grew up and where Colt and Jordan attend church) that said "...God has great things in store for him and I am not talking about football." I have heard that the Longhorns motto for this season is Jeremiah 17:7 "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him". I pray that God will continue to use these Godly men to spread His word and glorify His name. I am proud to be a Longhorn.

Addie update

2010-01-04T09:39:00.000-08:00

This week Josh is in St. Louis at the National Conference on Youth Ministry. So, since he was going to be gone he suggested to my mom that she come hang out with me for the week and watch Addie while I am at work. Josh and I were able to go out for a belated Anniversary date (6 years!) on Saturday after Mom's flight got in. We also saw Avatar which I liked except that it seemed to go on forever.

Anyway, last night Addie started not feeling well. Her eyes are red and puffy and her poor little nose is stuffed up. I gave her some medicine that seemed to help last night so unless she gets a fever I'll see how she does without going to the doctor.

She turned 3 months on December 23. I took a cute picture but now can't find where it uploaded to. She is becoming more and more engaged. She loves the two toys on her car seat - Beatrice the Butterfly and Terry the Lion (his name is Terry because he shakes so we thought he had turrets). She stares at them and likes to swat them to make the rattles move. She also loves her play mat. She will lay on her back with one hand on each animal until she falls asleep or gets cranky. Addie loves to stand up and bounce. I need to get her a exersaucer or something. One of her favorite things is when her Daddy moves her legs like she is running. I know she will miss early morning Daddy/Addie time this week. Josh and I can't believe how much she is learning and growing. Everyone said it goes by fast - they weren't kidding!

One of my favorite times lately has been when Josh and I lay her on our bed in the morning while we get ready. It takes us forever because we keep stopping to snuggle and play. This sweet family time makes my heart happy!

I will do a Christmas post soon and keep everyone who may still be reading updated.

A few pictures just because....

L - Little Things (Christmas Post Coming Soon)

2009-12-30T12:44:00.000-08:00

I was trying to think of something for L so I asked Josh and he said it should be "Little Things". I liked that idea. I don't often stop to be thankful for all the small things each day. I decided to just make a list of some of my favorite "little things" that I am thankful for.

-a morning drink at Starbucks
-a good hair day
-Josh watching Addison so I can go to the gym
-a sweet text or email
-talking to Jackie Beth or my mom
-hearing songs I like on the radio
-clean laundry
-Addie's cute little noises
-being able to sit and relax all by myself
-hot tea with milk and sugar
-no traffic
-getting all my paperwork completed at work

There are lots of others but that's what I thought of first. Remember to be thankful for little things - especially when life is busy.

I promise I will post about Addie's first Christmas as soon as I upload pictures!

K- Kisses (and Photos)

2009-12-25T21:27:00.000-08:00

This will be short and sweet but I am thankful for kisses. I am thankful for all of the sweet kisses I get to give my baby and the kisses she will eventually give me (slober and all). I am thankful for the kisses I exchange with Josh - sweet kisses, sexy kisses, playful kisses, etc. I am thankful for kisses.

The pictures were taken by Seasons of Change Photography. Paul Sudbury and Angela (Sudbury) Fleming started a photography business and asked to take our picture for their portfolio. Their prices are great and they do an AWESOME job. If you are in the metroplex area look them up. The email is seasonsofchangetx@gmail.com and they have a website on shutterfly.

The first pics go along with my kissing post...these next ones are just ones that I like! The rest are on facebook!

J-Josh (Anniversary)

2009-12-19T22:11:00.000-08:00

6 years ago tonight I was at my rehearsal dinner getting ready to marry the man of my dreams.

Sometimes it seems funny to me that Josh and I have only been married 6 years and have been together for 8 years. When I think about all the things - good and bad that we have experienced together in that time - I am amazed at how much we have grown in that time. My love for this man has grown and changed so much already as we have walked together through some dark trials, I've seen him grow as a youth minister, I've watched him fall in love with our daughter, we've moved away from family and friends, and so many other things. I feel like we continually get to know new things about each other and I love that.

I started to write a list of random facts about Josh and things that I love about him, but we have to leave to drive to Texas tomorrow, I don't want to embarrass Josh and it would be hard to keep the list short. So, I will simply tell you that there are hundreds of things that I love about Josh and countless ways that I have been blessed by him. I am so thankful to have him in my life as my friend and partner.

Here is a quote from a letter he wrote me before we got engaged and that we used in our wedding - "I love you. I'm in love with you. It's like I always loved you, it just took me awhile to find you."

6 years down - A LOT more to go.

One of my favorite pictures...

I - Ice cream

2009-12-17T08:40:00.000-08:00

As silly as it may be, I am thankful for Blue Bell ice cream. We don't have it in Colorado except from a Russell Stover candy store (super expensive) and I eat as much as I can every time we go home.

H - Helping People (Blind Side)

2009-12-15T13:17:00.000-08:00

I had a hard time coming up with something for H. Then I watched The Blind Side this weekend. One of my first reactions to the movie was that it was hard for me to see. I hear stories like that (and a lot worse) at work every day but at work I try hard to not get emotionally attached. Watching the movie I was able to "feel" it and be emotional.

I want to be like Leigh Ann Tuohy. I want to be the kind of person that would take a stranger in and help them, not to get anything out of it, but because it's the right thing to do and it's what God asked us to do. I love the feeling I get when I am able to help a child in foster care succeed. I am passionate about the work that I do. It isn't just a pay check but it's something I love.

I strongly believe that God did not call us to be comfortable or safe. He called us to do His work and frequently His work is neither of those two things. I want to be a woman who will step out of her comfort zone and love on people that the world ignores.

I am thankful that God has given me the desire to help others. I pray that I am able to instill that in my children as well.

On a side note, my agency I work for has a chance to bring in Michaell Oher. I hope that we are able to - it would be amazing!

G - Grandparents

2009-12-10T12:10:00.001-08:00

Addison is blessed to have three sets of wonderful grandparents and a Great-Grandmother who love her very much.

Everyone was able to come see her after she was born and we constantly get requests for updates, pictures etc. Josh and I think it is so fun to see our parents go completely nuts over this little girl. I have no doubt that she will be spoiled so my job changes to keeping her from getting too spoiled or bratty.

I have great memories of my grandparents growing up, but my family wasn't particularly close to them. I am so thankful that Addie will have grandparents who want to be involved in her life, will support her, love her and be there for her.

Shoe Dazzle

2009-12-09T10:40:00.001-08:00

Has anyone heard of this? A friend at work told me about it. Shoe Dazzle is a membership website that has you fill out a questionnaire about your fashion style. Each month they email you shoes that fit your preferences and for $39.95 you get to pick any pair of shoes each month. It's also free shipping. I have a few friends who have done this and love it. Not sure if I will or not right now, but wanted to share the info. I know that I love shoes and most girls do too!

Anyway, check it out www.shoedazzle.com

Thankful for friends - F

2009-12-07T21:18:00.001-08:00

First, I really wanted to scan in some pictures to put on here but haven't had the time. Maybe I'll get it done soon...Otherwise, just imagine cool pictures of all of my friends.

I have the greatest friends ever! Other people think they have the best friends, but they are wrong.

When I think about my friends who have blessed me one of the things that I am most thankful for is that I have friends from various times in my life, places and with different things in common.

Kristen and Jeremy are two of my friend that I grew up with that I still am able to see. Kristen lives in Denver and I try to see her and her family whenever I can. We always make an effort to hang out when Jeremy comes in town. They share my love for Africa since they grew up living in Africa as a missionary family

David, Elliott, Danny, Jessica, Stacey, Ben, Eric, and Cal are some of the friends from Austin that I grew up with. I don't keep up with some of them as much as I would like to but I have wonderful memories of things we have done together.

Steve, Casey and Kasey were some of my very best friends at ACU. They played such an important part in my life.

Mel, Ashley, Jeff, Linds, Emily, Amy, Tucker, Kyle, Beth, Clint and Andy are a few of the people I was lucky enough to be friends with at ACU. One of the neat things about my friendship with Mel is that we are still a big part of each others lives since we live near each other and are kind of all alone up here. It has been a blessing to have a college friend so close.

Lacy, Andy, Mary, Jeff, Brad and Alli are friends that I have gotten to know through jobs. We definitely formed trauma bonds because of the work we do. Lacy has since moved back to Texas. I get together with Alli once a month and it is one of the highlights of my month. I try to get together for lunch with Brad, Jeff and Mary when we can find a time too.

Sheila, Lynn, Connie, Linda, and Joan are among some of the women I have gotten to know and love in Denver. They have laughed with me, prayed with me, brought us meals and so many other things. At times I think some of us are more family than friends.

And then there is Jackie Beth. I would easily call her my best friend. In some ways we are like the same person - we "get" each other in a way that has to be from God. In other ways we are pretty different. I love that we have been able to stay friends being far apart and not getting to hang out very often. She is the friend that I can say anything to, even if it is over voice mail. One of my other favorite things is that we are able to our dorky, goofy selves when we are together.

I am so thankful for all of my friends - ones that I don't keep up with, ones that I do and friends that I know God will put in my life in the future.

E- Employment

2009-12-03T12:03:00.000-08:00

One of the things that I have been most thankful for over the last 4 months is my job. I work for a foster care/adoption agency in the foster care department. Our agency is small and my foster care has 4 of us and our supervisor. I love my team - we are able to support each other and we enjoy being together. We are able to laugh and vent about situations we see that really aren't funny but it's the only way to handle it.

When I was on bedrest my supervisor let me work from home so I could still get stuff done, be productive and get a pay check. They have also been totally flexible with me since I've been back at work and love it when Addie gets to come with me.

Jobs are scarce right now. I am lucky not only to have a job but to have a job that I love. People asked me if I was going back to work after Addison was born and why I was going back to work. Even if I didn't have to work financially I would want to at least part time. I worked hard in college for four years to learn to be a social worker. It's something I am good at and I am passionate about. I get to help families and children during tough times in their lives. I get to support foster parents who are also passionate about serving children. This isn't just a paycheck for me but it's something that I want to do. It's hard sometimes hearing and seeing the things that I deal with on a daily basis but it has also taught me a lot. It has taught me a great deal of patience and empathy. God reminds me regularly that my clients and their families, no matter how many mistakes they make, are created in His image and He loves them.

So, I am thankful to work at Adoption Alliance. I am thankful to work with people I consider friends. I am thankful that hopefully in some small way I get to make a difference in the lives of children in foster care. I am thankful that I have a job to help provide for my family.

www.adoptall.org

D- Denver

2009-12-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

Josh and I moved to Denver for his job as the youth minister at University Church of Christ in May of 2004. We had been married for almost 6 months. This was the first time that Josh had lived outside of Texas - he lived in the metroplex growing up and went to Abilene for college. I had lived in multiple places and states but it had been awhile. It was weird, but at first I missed home and Texas more than Josh did. I missed bluebonnets, Blue Bell ice cream, hot weather, friends, family etc.

Now that we have been here 5 1/2 years we love it. There have been a few times that we considered moving because job situations were less than desirable. But each time we considered it, if the new job had worked out we would have been really sad to leave Colorado. I love the mountains and being so close to so many great places to go for a weekend or a longer vacation. I love the cool stuff that this city has. I am thankful for our friends here, some of which are more like family at this point. Our church has come a long way in their motivation and outreach and the people here have wonderful hearts. It was a culture shock at first being out of the "bible belt". The churches as well as just the city is very different.

I think living here, at least 8 hours from our closest family members, has been good for Josh and I. I think we have become more independent and rely on each other more. It has been a blessing that we had to "grow up" as a married couple quickly. I am also thankful for all the new experiences we have had living in Denver. Josh gets to go skiing more, we camp regularly (which I grew up loving to do. We have to deal with blizzards and snow. We have been able to spend time in some of the most beautiful mountains I have ever seen by ourselves and with friends. The city itself is beautiful with tons of huge parks and miles of trails. The downtown is great and there are so many neat things to do.

Whether we stay here just a few more years or we retire here, I will always be thankful for Denver as our first real home together.

Our first home (a town home, really not this big)

Hiking in Evergreen

Estes Park

Rockies Game

Anniversary Date Downtown

First Snowman

href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_cuVFPWZa1Go/SxWAVVRgl8I/AAAAAAAAAsg/z_r1hslj9SM/s1600/rafting.jpg">
Whitewater Rafting with Youth Group

Bear Lake

Birthday, Thanksgiving, the start of Christmas decorations

2009-11-29T14:00:00.000-08:00

My birthday 28th and Addie's 2 month birthday were on November 23. The night before my birthday Josh took me out to dinner. He asked a friend who is a restaurant reviewer to suggest some cool places to go for my birthday.We were planning to try a little hole in the wall authentic Italian restaurant but it turned out to be closed on Sundays. So, instead we went to Cheesecake Factory - one of my favorites and where we went the night we got engaged.

For my birthday present Josh (and I guess Addie) gave me a beautiful ring from James Avery. It is a heart that symbolizes a mother's love. It was a wonderful present.

On my actual birthday we went to breakfast (something I love to do) before going to the doctor for Addison's two month check up. She had to get some shots but she was a very brave girl and only cried for a few minutes. I think Josh hated it more than any of us. He hates needles so he hated it even more to see his little girl get them. He decided he was proud that he got through it without yelling at or punching any nurses.

Later that afternoon I got some flowers from my friend Melanie. It was a flower cupcake - very clever. Some other highlights were new running shoes from Josh's parents (more motivation to keep getting in shape), a perfume and necklace that says "Hope" (Addie's middle name) from my dad and step mom. I celebrated my birthday with my mom when I was in Oregon so that was a lot of fun to. She gave me a new yoga mat (more things to help get back in shape).

I went to work Tuesday and Wednesday. It was good to start back on a short week. Addie came with me Tuesday and stayed home with Josh on Wednesday. She will start going to Ms. Connie's house tomorrow.

My brother and sister-in-law were here for Thanksgiving. We had a great time - relaxed, played games (Banana Grams and Balderdash) and watched A Christmas Carole. Krista and I got up to go shopping on black Friday and got some amazing deals.

Today I began to decorate for Christmas - this is what I have so far.....

Tonight we will be going to the Pottberg/Thompson house to see friends of mine (a lot like a second family sometimes).

So - things are good.

C- Christmas

2009-11-27T16:48:00.000-08:00

Since it is the day after Thanksgiving I thought it was neat that today's letter is C and today is the day I get to officially start the Christmas season.

I LOVE Christmas. I love the lights, music, decorations, the smell of Christmas trees, candles, angels, presents, egg nog, snacks etc. One of my favorite things is buying presents for people. I like getting them, but buying them is way better. I love to pick out things that I think are perfect for the people I love. I love to wrap beautiful packages and watch as they are opened on Christmas morning.

I am thankful for the wonderful memories of Christmas I have growing up. We had advent boxes that we opened every day of December. They usually had a piece of candy or something small. My parents also gave us Twelve Day gifts. On the twelve days of Christmas we got a small present in our stocking every morning. I got things like a book, cool socks, earrings etc. It wasn't so much that my siblings and I liked the gifts, it was the excitement and anticipation each morning. Each year my mom either bought or made us all pajamas and we got to open them on Christmas Eve. Sometimes they all matched, sometimes the girls matched and the boys matched, sometimes they were all unique. Each year we would take pictures in our new pajamas in front of the tree.

I love the times during the holiday when we get to relax and celebrate with friends and family. I love the messages of peace, giving, love and forgiveness that are heard around Christmas. I love that people who may typically be grouchy or keep to themselves are likely to be more open and joyful during this time of year. It really does seem that there is magic in the air. I do wish that celebrating Christ was more a part of our secular Christmas celebration and I try to focus on that personally.

I am thankful for almost everything about this time of year and I can't wait to start making new Christmas memories and traditions with my daughter.

B - Brothers

2009-11-24T11:39:00.000-08:00

I have two brothers, Jae and Sean and Josh has one brother, Jared. Today I am thankful for our brothers.

My brothers are both super tall (one is 6'5" and one is 6'6") and blond. We look nothing alike which makes sense because I'm adopted. They are both unique in their own weird and wacky ways but I love them. Sean and I were close growing up but don't get to talk much now. He and his wife Ashley live in Tennessee where Sean is in grad school at Harding. He is very smart and into philosophy, religious studies and history. Sean was always his own person and we had a special bond. Jae and I didn't really like each other growing up but are close now. He works for ACU and will be here for Thanksgiving with his wife Krista. He has been blessed with an ability to make friends easily and help people feel included. He loves working with college students and international students. I could write for a long time about both of these guys and what makes them special but I am trying to keep it short. I have great memories with them as kids and adults and I'm excited to see how our relationships change as we get older.

Josh's brother Jared is the same age as me. After Josh and I got engaged (Josh was no longer at ACU) Jared came up to me in the campus center and said something like "Hey, you're gonna be my sister. Cool". Jared and his wife Lauren live in San Antonio and I cannot wait to see them for Christmas. I always laugh so much whenever Jared and Josh get together.

Jared and Lauren

Sean and Ashley

Jae and Krista

Thankfulnes Project - A

2009-11-22T19:25:00.001-08:00

I love the holidays, including Thanksgiving. But, I want it to be more than just turkey, football and pie so I am writing about things I am thankful for. I was originally just going to write about one thing each week. Instead I decided to write about one thing for each letter of the alphabet and try to finish by the end of the year. I am sure there will be intermittent posts about things going on with us etc.

Since A is the first letter in the alphabet and is also conveniently the first letter of my daughter's name I think that is a great place to start.

Addison Hope Jones - I am so incredibly thankful for her. I am thankful for her sweet smile, her beautiful eyes, silky hair, and sweet hands. I am even thankful for her crying and poopy diapers. Josh and I have wanted a baby for so long and she was worth the wait. I look at her and sometimes get so overwhelmed with love it makes me want to cry. I am thankful that I will get to be her mom, help her learn and grow, watch her become her own person and a person who loves God, pray with and for her, laugh together and so many other things.
Yes, I am definitely thankful for Addison.

Oregon

2009-11-19T18:20:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday Addie and I boarded an airplane headed to Portland, Oregon. My mom and step dad live full time in their RV and they were in Oregon. They flew Addie and I out there to spend about 5 days with them.

I was nervous about the plane rides since Addison had been really fussy the week before but she did great! Almost no crying either time. I nursed her or gave her the pacifier on take off and landing and she slept most of the flight. Even though we flew into Portland we were actually staying about 3 hours away on the coast near a town called Newport. I had never been to the west coast other than San Diego. It was amazing - an ocean with huge rock cliffs right next to a dense rain forest. It was pretty cold so we didn't spend a lot of time on the beach but we did take several walks. The last few days we were there the winds were really strong and the ocean was had giant waves and was almost totally white.

We were able to visit several small towns along the Oregon coast. In one of the places we spent some time on the bay front that had lots of great shops. We ate clam chowder at a little whole in the wall restaurant that was amazing. We saw sea lions lounging on the docks and watched fishing boats bring in baskets of freshly caught crab. We toured a winery and I bought two bottles of local wine that are amazing!

Addie was a trooper and was carried in her sling most of the places we went. She loved all the cuddles and attention from Mom, Larry and even their dog Sandy. I loved time with my mom - she made me some of my favorite meals, we played cards and she helped me sew a skirt.

We also celebrated our Christmas while there. One of the things we gave Mom and Larry a web cam so they can get on Skype and see Addie. Grammy made Addie a beautiful warm sweater and she is working on a red knitted jumpsuit that wasn't quite done yet. I got some beautiful jade jewelry that Mom bought in Canada this summer at Jade City - 80% of the world's jade comes from here. I didn't get to open Josh's presents so we brought them home to him.

It was a great trip but it makes me sad that Addison won't remember any of it. It is neat that my parents are so flexible and live in so many cool places that I can go visit to see them. One another side note, my brother has an interview at a school near Portland after Thanksgiving. If he gets the job it would definitely be a place I would love to keep visiting.

Enjoy the pictures.

The airport before we left - Josh was able to walk us to the gate and hang out for a few minutes.

Ships in the bay in Newport

Devil's Punch Bowl - the water was swirling so fast!

This is drift wood in a creek at the camp ground. It used to be on the beach and the week before we were there a storm moved it all the way up to this bridge.

sea lion in Newport

Mom, Addie and I in front of crab pots that fisherman use

We made a sign for Addie to hold and texted Josh a picture. He reallllly missed Addie (he missed me too). It was hard for us to talk to Josh regularly because of bad cell coverage.

Sandy, mom's dog, loved Addie. She would bark at us if we didn't get up right away when she was crying.

saying goodbye at the airport in Portland

Addie's first retreat, fussiness, books and other news

2009-11-10T13:01:00.000-08:00

Addie went on her first youth group retreat this past weekend. She did pretty well - I was surprised. Everyone loved her (duh) and she was never lacking in attention. It was kinda funny that when I asked some of the kids if they wanted to hold her they were reluctant and really nervous.

The theme was Glory and we talked about living in God's glory, living for God's glory and reflecting God's glory. It was a little different that the retreats Josh usually plans. God worked powerfully during the weekend. Going on retreats with Josh also always make me think about my own youth group retreats growing up. I love those memories and pray that these kids will be blessed through retreat times like I was.

Once we got home however, Addie has turned into a little bit of a devil child. She started the few days before we left being very fussy. It pretty much stopped over the weekend and now it's worse than ever. I took her to the doctor because I honestly didn't know what else to do. Her cry sounded like a hurt cry, she was not sleeping longer than an hour at time and she wasn't eating as well. The doctor (not our regular one) made Josh and I feel pretty dumb and just said it is normal fussiness. I know all babies get fussy but these seemed different for Addie. Anyway, I guess it is the regular stuff that can set in about 6-8 weeks. Ironically I got a book that I ordered in the mail yesterday - Your Fussy Baby and Healthy Sleep Habits;Happy Child both by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I started reading the Fussy Baby book today and the first page says this "If you have already delivered your baby and are exhausted, worried or both turn immediately to chapter 7 for a quick background summary and plan of action". I love that. How realistic of Dr. Weissbluth. I don't have time to sit and read two whole books - I don't even have time to take a shower some days. Anyway, I read chapter 7 and while I have realized I am not a fan of parenting books (they stress me out), I love this book already. It is concise, gives options and is not a "my way or the highway" book. It also is encouraging to us as parents, advocates for fathers being involved etc. I'll let you know more as I try to go back and read the rest of the book at some point. I haven't started on the Healthy Sleep Habits yet but it to has a Crash Course chapter.

Addie and I leave Thursday morning to fly to Portland, Oregon for a few days to see her Grammy and Grampy. They are actually staying near Newport Oregon on the coast so once we get to Portland we have about a two hour drive. I'm nervous about how Addie will do but I'm also excited for the trip. I get to go shopping for my upcoming birthday, see the coast (never been to the Northwestern coast), maybe see whales, eat yummy food and spend time with family. So, as long as we don't get kicked off the plane for a crying baby things will be fine. Josh is sad that we are leaving (I'm sad to be leaving him). But, I am a little jealous that he will get 5 nights of uninterrupted sleep.

I am sure I will have lots of pictures and stories when we get back. Pray for patience for me, calmness and peace for Addison and a safe trip.

If I had time to blog...

2009-11-02T16:54:00.000-08:00

*I would write about how even a rash on my little girl and a small fever make me so sad that I can't make her feel better.

*I would write about how now that Halloween is over I am ready for Christmas! I love Christmas time. I love buying present for people, wrapping presents, ornaments etc.

*I would write about how I still struggle to take a shower regularly since Addie has been born. I will have to change that when I start working again.

*I would write about being excited for the youth group retreat this weekend but also a little worried about how Addie will do.

*I would write about how frustrating it is that my maternity clothes are to big but most of my regular pants are still to small.

*I would write about my mixed feelings about going back to work in a few weeks.

*I would write about going to visit my friend Melanie in Wyoming a few weeks ago.

*I would write about how I will never again take sleep for granted.

If only I had time....

(Hopefully some of these may actually get written over the next few weeks. We'll see)

Snow Storm and IHOP Adventure

2009-10-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night it started snowing and didn't stop for about 48 hours. We ended up with almost 2 feet of snow! This is apparently the biggest October snow storm in about ten years. Josh had to go to work just for an hour or so on Wednesday. We were supposed to have the fall festival that night at church but he decided to reschedule for Saturday. Once he got home we were in the house, ready to bundle up and wait out the storm. Addie and I made peanut butter cookies for her dad and I made muffins. I love baking, especially when it's cold out. We had homemade french dip sandwiches for dinner and enjoyed the time hanging out together.

Yesterday we decided to venture out to run a few short errands. Addie was bundled up warm so we decided to take a picture of her in the snow - she slept through the whole thing.

Now on to todays adventure. I have written before about how Josh and I have weekly breakfast dates. We are trying to keep this tradition up even with the new addition to the family. So, this morning after we were up and Addie ate breakfast we got ready to go. I figured that we had about 2 hours to eat and get home before she would need to eat again. I was wrong. This happened to be a morning when she decided she was going to be hungry every 2 hours instead of the usual three. And, since I am such a prepared mother, I forgot the extra bottle at home. So, we are at IHOP and I have just ordered pumpkin pancakes that I am super excited about eating and Ms. Addison wakes us and decides to cry. After about 15 minutes of off and on crying I decided I have to try to nurse her. This is really the first time that I have had to do this in a public place other than in my car on the way home from Wyoming.

Luckily I have a blanket and we are sitting in a corner booth. The hardest part of this for me is not being able to see her. That can lead to problems that frustrate us both including making a huge mess. It was relatively successful but I stressed out more than I would like to admit. I guess this is good practice since in two weeks I will be traveling with her by mself to fly to Oregon to see my mom. I'm not super modest and don't have a problem nursing in public as long as I am somewhat covered but I still don't have the coordination down.

Ok, well, Addie is awake and hungry again so I will just leave you with a few pictures.

Happy 1 Month Birthday Addie!

2009-10-25T18:07:00.001-07:00

I can't believe that you are already a month old Addison Hope! Sometimes it seems like she has been here a lot longer and sometimes it seems like it has flown by. She is awake more, likes looking around, and starting to sleep better at night. I love any time I get to snuggle her and I tell her regularly that I could kiss her all day long. Josh and I are no longer "Josh and Shiloh". We are now also "Mommy and Daddy" and even though everything has changed - I couldn't be happier. It has been an exhausting, emotional, confusing, and absolutely wonderful month. I'm so excited about all the months to come!

Pop and Memaw

2009-10-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

My dad and stepmom drove in from Lubbock this weekend to meet Addison. They have been so excited about her arrival and were thrilled to finally hold her. One of things they have done that I thought was special was that while I was pregnant they started writing letters to her and I put them all in a binder for her.

Addie is sleeping a little better now which makes me happier. Josh and I have been trying to get into our own routine and schedule. I get us and feed her at night and then Josh takes her downstairs about 6am so I can get a few uninterrupted hours of sleep. I love that time - not just because I am resting but also because Josh is getting some special one on one time with Addie. He calls it Addie/Daddy time. He posted about it this morning on his blog, too. http://theblogofjoshjones.blogspot.com/

Here's a few pictures from our weekend:

How a baby changes things...

2009-10-19T14:34:00.000-07:00

Instead of thinking about date nights, work, how many times I can go to yoga each week, craft time, actually taking a shower, shopping, playing on the computer, having a semi clean house etc these are the things that consme my day:
-poop
-laundry
-the numerous reasons babies cry
-spit up
-baby talk
-feeling like a cow
-wanting to sleep so bad it hurts
-sore boobs (sorry for the TMI)

But I wouldn't give it up because I also get all of these things:
-cuddles
-kissing my baby all over
-seeing Josh give her google eyes that say he is totally in love
-bath time
-sweet faces and funny faces
-going on walks with Josh and Addie

Life is forever changed.

3 Weeks and Counting

2009-10-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

Addison was three weeks old on Wednesday! I can't believe it's been that long. We went to the doctor for a follow up appointment on Thursday. She is now 7 lbs 6 oz - so well past her birth weight and gaining faster than the doctors guessed. They said that will slow down but for now it's great.

She also slept in her cradle on her own for two night in a row. Last night was a little rougher but I didn't expect that we wouldn't still have some trouble. She is staying awake more and I'm excited for her to start being more alert and interactive.

Josh has been able to have a somewhat flexible schedule this week so he is home a little more. On Wednesday after we woke up and got ready I took Addie shopping to run some errands and then we went for a long walk in a park. I was pleasantly surprised and how well the day went. It was my first time out with Addie by myself. She did so good and it made me excited to have lots more mother/daughter days as she grows up.

That's about all that' going on here. Josh and I weren't able to make it to Homecoming this year for several reasons. I would reall have liked to go since it was my 5th year reunion - we will just have to make it a priority next year. I'm also pretty sure that next year we won't have a thre week old baby at Homecoming either.

Gramps and Gigi

2009-10-12T12:37:00.000-07:00

My mom and stepdad left the morning of the 2nd. Josh's mom, dad and grandmother got her that afternoon. Gramps and Addie's Great-Grandmother stayed through the weekend and left on Monday morning. Josh's mom was able to stay with us all of last week. Grandmother and Gigi loved to just sit and hold and look at Addie. Gramps had a little more fun with her and decided to see if she could fit in his size 14 shoe - she could. Grandmother also makes a "famous" chocolate pie. We convinced her to make one while she was here. Gramps also thought that Addie needed to have her first taste of his mom's pie. We were able to take several 4 generation pictures. not many people are able to do that and it is really special that we will have that. Josh also gave Addison a bath by himself while I was at the gym and he even did her hair!

It was wonderful having Sue, Josh's mom, stay for the week. We didn't do a whole lot but enjoyed just hanging out together. Addison got some one on one snuggle time with her Gigi every morning while her mom and dad got a few hours of sleep. We also went to her first doctor's appointment for the 2 week check up. She was up to 6 lbs and 13 ozs - only 2oz short of birth weight. She was also about an inch longer. We are still having to wake her up every three hours and offer her a bottle of extra milk. Hopefully we will be able to stop at least one of those things this week after another check up.

Josh and I are now officially on our own - at least for 5 days until my dad and Pam get here for a weekend. I'm nervous (Josh is too) but I also know that we can learn and that God can give us what we need to be able to be good parents for Addie. I read in a book something like we are the only parents she will ever have and we are the perfect parents for our baby. That makes me feel good - God gave us this little girl and while we aren't perfect, we love her and each other.

Enjoy the pictures. The picture of the brooms is Josh's excitement for the week - he read that there is a weird gravitational thing going on right now and he had fun making the brooms stand up on their own.

I Love...

2009-10-05T18:51:00.001-07:00

In the 12 days that I have had Addison there are so many things that I have already come to love.

- her sweet smell. I could smell her all day long.
- her beautiful dark hair. She has so much of it and I am excited to see if it will curl like mine or not.
- the way her hands are always up on her face. She will cover her whole face with her hands. Josh frequently has to move them so she will eat.
- the silly faces she makes, there are a ton.
- the way her tiny, soft hands will lay on my chest while I nurse her.
- the way Josh is so in love with her already.
- her beautiful eyes. I'm excited to see what color they will end up.
- the quiet little sighs that she makes while she sleeps.
- the way she likes to tuck her feet into my armpit while I nurse her.
- her cute little nose that my mom says looks just like mine.

I really love everything about her and I know that there are so many more things that I will discover that I love.

More pictures soon!

Birth Story - it's a long post

2009-09-30T17:02:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I woke up in a weird mood. I didn't want to stay home so I went to work with Josh and helped him with a few things. Then, I was able to convince Josh and my mom to let me go to the mall by myself. While I was at the mall I noticed that I was having small contractions and was bleeding a little when I went to the bathroom.

I got home and ate Josh's spicy chili I had asked him to make for dinner. I was still having contractions throughout the evening. They started getting pretty strong about 9pm but we didn't leave for the hospital until about 11:30. I think we probably waited too long but I wanted to be absolutely sure that they wouldn't send us home. We got to the hospital about midnight and went straight to a monitoring room. The contractions were pretty intense by then and when they checked me I was at a 5. I was only in the triage unit for about 20 minutes before going up to Labor and Delivery. Once we got up there things got rough fast- contractions were right on top of each other and I was throwing up. The nurse suggested I ask for the epidural right away if I was going to want one. The computers were also down so they said it may take longer than usual. I wanted to try to go as long as I could without the meds but I'm glad I asked when I did - it was actually cutting it really close and I almost didn't get it at all. The nurse had told me it wasn't too late until I couldn't sit still and those last 4 or 5 contractions I really thought I wasn't going to make it. When the anesthesiologist got there he was really patient and I was able to sit pretty still with Josh's help.

They had to stick me twice but after the epidural, life got better. The nurse would tell me I was having a contraction and I didn't even know. The nurses checked me as soon as the epidural set in and I was at a 9 - after just over an hour! They had me sit up for some reason that I don't remember after a few minutes and all of a sudden I felt my water break. During this whole ordeal the doctor was trying to get two bags of antibiotics in me since I was positive for strep b. They wanted to try and delay labor until the antibiotics had time to set in - 8 hours. There was no way that was happening but they still wanted to wait as long as possible. I was already feeling some pressure and after my water broke it got stronger quickly.

I told the nurses I wanted to start pushing and they seemed doubtful. The resident was a very nice woman who was super helpful. They told me to go ahead and try and I started making progress right away. I pushed for about 30 minutes and then she was out! Josh was holding my hands and supporting my back when I had to sit up to push. My mom was helping me with one leg and taking pictures. This might be too much information (sorry). She took pictures and told me if I wanted to look at them I could and if not, no big deal. I actually did look at them later and was wasn't too grossed out.

After she was gone everything went by really quickly. They gave her to me and then to Josh after a few minutes so they could work a little more on me. One of my favorite pictures is Josh holding her and looking at her right after she was born. It was a great and exhausting experience. I can't believe that it went so smoothly overall. They had to give me and Addie some antibiotics because I had a fever during the delivery but all the tests came back fine.

I am still amazed by this whole process. One of the first things I said to Addie was "You were definitely worth it". I am so thankful that God has been faithful even when we haven't. He made this beautiful little girl inside of me and got her here safely no matter how much I doubted him and have been angry over the past few years. I really don't understand how people can have babies and not believe in God.

Sorry this has been long - thanks for reading if you stuck with it.

Going home and a few firsts

2009-09-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

We were able to go home on Saturday afternoon. Addie was still just a little bit under the line of needing to be under lights (the limit was 14 and her results were at 13.9). But, she had gained a few small grams which is way better than still losing weight. They set up a home nurse to come on Sunday rather than waiting until the middle of the week. When she was here she checked Addie and said that she gained another ounce and her jaundice numbers were significantly lower. They still want me to supplement with donor milk and keep waking her up every 3 hours to eat for a few more days. We will have another nurse visit tomorrow to see how she's doing.

My milk has come in or at least is doing much better. When we feed her I will nurse then give her bottle of supplement then pump. So, it's a long process and especially in the middle of the night I hate having to wake her up to eat because it takes forever. I cannot wait until I can just nurse her when she is hungary so we can all get some more sleep.

I had a rough night last night with being sore from nursing as well as just normal soreness from the delivery etc. I was so tired that everytime I would wake up I was totally disoriented. I kind of lost it about 6am and just cried. My mom took Addison downstairs with a bottle so Josh and I could sleep straight for at least 3 hours. It was awesome. It really has been a huge lifesaver to have my mom here. She has been cooking, cleaned my whole house, offered much needed advice and endless encouragement. I'm already dreading when she will leave on Friday and I'm already thinking of when Addie and I can fly out to visit. Larry flew in on Saturday and that has been fun too. He has the hardest time not just picking her up to hold her constantly!

We gave Addie her first bath at home on Sunday and took a short walk around the neighborhood. Today we went to Washington Park (an awesome, huge park with lots of great paths) and walked for awhile and took some pictures. It was a good afternoon and Addie and I both handled the outing pretty well. I am hoping that before Mom and Larry leave we will be able to go for a drive to the mountains to see the leaves changing colors.

That's about it for now - enjoy the pictures!
Hospital visitors -
Mom (Grammy)- Well, she wasn't really a visitor since she was with us helping a lot of the time....

Thayne and Joan McKnight - they are a precious couple at church who have been so special to Josh and I. Right after our last miscarriage their son and daughter in law lost a little girl so we have bonded and healed together through that.

Melanie Larson - she drove all the way from Cheyenne to come visit for a few hours. Mel is an incredible friend who has been praying for Addie since she found out I was pregnant. She was at the hosptial with Josh after my ectopic surgery and it was so special that this visit to the same hospital was for much happier circumstances.

Connie Monsees - Connie will be watching Addie for us when I go back to work. Her family is very special and such a blessing to Josh and I.

Sheila Wheeler is one of my good friends at church. She has a sweet little boy Brayden who is just over a year old. Maybe Sheila will be Addie's future mother-in-law?

Caren Monsees (Connie's daughter) - Caren is a senior in the youth group this year and can't wait to babysit!

In the car seat headed home from the hosptial.

The new family before we left the hosptial.

Grammy and Grampy with the new grandbaby - She is so loved!

Daddy and Addison in front of some flowers at the park.

On a walk in the park.